Author: Big Cal

Fully Loaded 2000

It’s finally here . Been excited to re-watch this show the entire time I’ve been watching 2000 PPV’s lol. Can it live up to the HYPE~! or will it fall short? Can it take the #1 spot over BACKLASH? Only one way to find out!

The Hardy Boys & Lita Vs T & A & Trish

Mixed 6 person tag to start things off. LITA . TRISH . T & A . HARDY BOYS… well they’re ok .

Entire build for this match is TRISH VS LITA lol. Hardys and T & A are… just here by association it seems lol. For the best, I doubt a PPV match in 2000 would have been good between the two ladies . FINLAY isn’t in the company to train them yet.

 Matt is a sloppy bastard in the early going. Botches like FUCK about 6 times in the space of 2 minutes. He was the balanced Hardy for a lot of years too, so surprising to see him fail so bad here .

LITA (FAP FAP FAP) is over like HELL. She’s getting chants throughout the match just standing on the apron.

HUGE POP FOR TRISH as she tags in. I’ve popped huge for her in the past .

 TRISH comes in, misses an elbow drop and runs away because LITA got tagged in.

TRIPLE SUPLEX~!

Matt takes his top off. Jeff takes his off. LITA TAKES HER SHIRT OFF . BUSINESS IS ABOUT TO PICK UP. WELL, SOMETHING IS CERTAINLY UP ANYWAY. WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE.

MY PENIS.

Jeff gets fucking murdered. Almost literally when T & A attempt either a double back drop OR a double flapjack. I don’t know and either does Jeff because he goes half and half and nearly lands on his fecking neck. Looked awesomely brutal though .

Crazy shit following a hot tag, then LITA tags in. TORNADO DDT ON TEST! CROSSBODY FROM THE TOP TO THE FLOOR ON ALBERT! LITACANRANA TO TEST! Almost wins the match for her team, then Albert cracks her in the back . Which is injured because of the table she went through and the beatings with the belt.

Gutwrench powerbomb to Lita . Trish gets the cover, but LITA KICKS OUT!

TRISH ON THE TOP ROPE! SLAP TO ALBERT. SUPERPLEX BY LITA!!!

MOONSAULT TO TRISH AND LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP GETS THE WIN! Wooo way to go LITA .

But it isn’t over yet. T & A destroy The Hardy Boys and help Trish beat Lita with a leather belt some more. YOU LEAVE HER ALONE .

Tremendously awesomely super duper fun opener. Plus, you know, LITA AND TRISH. Good stuff!

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

UNDERTAKER . He shows up on his bike, asks if anyone has seen Kurt. Kurt randomly happens to be “over there” so Undertaker rides into the backstage area and chases down Angle on his bike!  awesome.

Tazz Vs Al Snow

So Tazz has been going around attacking random people for no reason. We get a video package showing this. No sign of him attacking Snow. Which makes me wonder WHY this match is happening lol. He did attack RIKISHI a number of times… did that ever turn into anything? Probably just a Raw match lol.

Oh so apparently Al got choked out last week on Raw. Maybe they should have shown us THAT? No?

Short filler match here, with no real purpose or anything, BUT it’s fun. Both guys just throw bombs at each other in an attempt to win, and since it isn’t some big 20 minute main event (hai ROH), I’m honestly fine with them doing that lol. Fun to watch, and given the fact this match is based on practically nothing I think they did well.

Plus it was kinda cool to see Snow look like a somewhat legit guy in there for a change, especially with him countering and fighting the TAZZMISSION.

Rating: *1/4
CAL SCALE – 0.5

CHRISTIAN IS VOMITING! Commissioner Foley is here to check up on him! The doctor doesn’t think he can compete tonight. Looks like they won’t have to defend their titles tonight against the APA .

STEPHANIE MCFAP . She gets a delivery of flowers. Not the first of the night it seems. HHH wonders who sent em. Steph thought it was him. So HHH decides to check the card. STEPHANIE, BEST OF LUCK TO YOU AND YOUR MAN TONIGHT. IT’S TRUE, IT’S TRUE. Kurt got some splaining to do!

Eddie Guerrero Vs Perry Saturn – WWF European Championship Match

Terri is out with Perry Saturn. She’s the “horny little shedevil” apparently. Does that make Chyna the “horny big shemale”? 

Perry has certainly managed to fuck Eddie off in recent weeks, because Eddie is on fire early on and absolutely DOMINATES the bigger, stronger Perry Saturn. Even Chyna decks him with a clothesline that turns him inside out!

 GOAT ring steps bump by Saturn. He BOUNCES off them into the barricade. Potential GIF material there. If so I should post it right under this .

Saturn really takes a beating here before finally getting a shot in, with a pretty sweeeeet POWERBOMB, but that alone isn’t enough to gain full control as he needed to rest up afterwards and that allowed Eddie to recover and fire back still. Saturn even has a small puncture wound on top of his head lol.

Saturn keeps getting a couple of power moves in on Eddie, but Eddie keeps firing back over and over again. I quite like how Saturn never really get in control in this. Eddie is the champion after all, plus he’s fighting for Chyna AND has Chyna outside for support. Saturn had Terri but she ran away right at the start of the match.

So how DID Saturn get back in control? First he CLOTHESLINED CHYNA THROUGH A TABLE, then Terri returned and helped him take Eddie down. Elbow drop and… this one is over. Just like that. And I actually liked it. Like I said, Eddie had everything going for him for the majority of the match, but once Saturn took Chyna out of the equation and Terri came back to ringside, he was able to quickly capitalise on the situation and win his first title in the WWF! Overall I quite liked this.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Foley catches Christian not being sick. Match is back on .

Undertaker says Angle will need a doctor to surgically remove his foot from his ass. LOL. Angle is then caught playing on Undertaker’s bike . ‘Taker chases after him.

Edge & Christian Vs The APA – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

 APA tag on PPV. And for the tag titles .

E&C have been trying to avoid the APA for weeks, right up to minutes before the match. But now they can’t escape. The APA coming for you, WHITE BOYS.

Heel promo on Dallas, forcing the APA to come out and BRADSHAW to cut an emotional promo on Texas. Awesome stuff from Bradshaw, really proving he can go on the mic if he gets the chance.

DICK MURDOCH, BRUISER BRODY, VON ERICH’S AND FREEBIRDS get name dropped by Bradshaw . This is gonna fucking RULE.

Fuck me, right from the start it’s INSANE. Farooq is just fucking everyone up with MULTIPLE shots to the face with the steel steps .

SUPER FALLAWAY SLAM .

Bradshaw wants a powerbomb, but Edge keeps dropping to his knees to escape. So Bradshaw beats the shit out of him a few times then hits it anyway . He goes for a second but Christian comes off the ropes with a Crossbody to prevent it .

The tag champs try to isolate Bradshaw, but it don’t last long. Hot tag to Farooq and HOLY FUCK at the destruction caused by the APA as they MURDER the champs with stiff shots, high impact moves and FINISHERS. Christian takes one hell of a CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL bump.

In the end Edge hits Farooq with the ring bell in plain sight to get DQ’d. Lose the match but retain the titles. APA kick the shit out of E&C all the way to the back.

 this is awesome. I mean AWESOME. APA might very well be the funnest tag team EVER.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

HHH is pissed that “Kurt” is sending the flowers. So Stephanie (looking mighty fine) tells him to go see Kurt. Switch to Kurt and Undertaker is chasing him down. Angle attacks Undertaker with a wrench to the knee!

Rikishi Vs Val Venis – WWF Intercontinental Championship Steel Cage Match

This feud was pretty awesome and VIOLENT as hell for a mid-card feud. They’ve been battling for about 2 months, and probably would have had the blow off match sooner had the KOTR not been the previous PPV. Val had turned heel and joined TRISH and became vicious as fuck. Both guys bled after fighting each other numerous times. And Val threw Scotty off the stage at one point too. Well worthy of a CAGE.

Val seems to have no problem going FACE FIRST into the cage. Numerous times. In a row.

Seems odd to me that both men attempt to escape the cage VERY early on, given that this is a pretty HATE~! filled rivalry. But once they get past that slight stupidity, they stick with trying to murder each other and THEN try to win the IC title.

GOOD GOD at the Clothesline from Val that turns Rikishi inside out. Impressive that Rikishi can do that spot no doubt, but always good when someone can hit a clothesline convincing enough of the spot. Val certainly mastered that lol.

Val tries to pin Rikishi to win the IC title but nothing works, so NOW he goes for some escapes, which make sense at this point. We get a few really good top rope battles out of this too tbh.

BONZAI~! Val gets his foot on the ropes. MONEY SHOT! Rikishi kicks out!

LITA LITA LITA FAP FAP FAP!!! SHE STRIPS TRISH AND WHIPS HER!

Val falls on poor Teddy Long. THIS WOULDN’T HAVE HAPPENED IN A TAG MATCH, TEDDY! Rikishi manages to climb to the top… but instead of escaping he decides to punish Val some more. Just like his relative, Jimmy Snuka, RIKISHI HITS A SPLASH FROM THE TOP OF THE CAGE!!! Val is DEAD.

The ‘Kish crawls to the door, looks to escape and then BAM! Camera to the head by TAZZ! Rikishi is out, Val is able to make the cover and he gets the 3! Val is the NEW IC champion!

Good cage match. They have a pretty good fight here. Wait, Val was the champ going into this? Lol, thought Rikishi was. Maybe just because he was the IC champ the month before at KOTR . Anyway, Val retains the IC championship! Lots to like about this, and DAMN at the Rikishi bump. Amazing. Plus, LITA .

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

HHH is looking for Kurt. He catches the flower guy with more flowers. HHH demands he take him to the sender. Turns out it was CHRIS JERICHO, HHH’s opponent tonight!

SHANE MCMAHON! He’s out to call out The Rock and prove he isn’t a pussy. Rock comes out expecting a trap. IT’S A TRAP. But Benoit is backstage destroying Rock’s shitty wardrobe in an attempt to anger Rock, hopefully enough to get himself DQ’d later tonight and lose the WWF Title!

The Undertaker Vs Kurt Angle

On a night with 3 main events, this is the first one. Not really on the same level as the other 2 lol. Angle, despite winning the KOTR, really doesn’t scream MAIN EVENTER yet. And Undertaker wouldn’t get back into the swing of things outside of a couple of matches until the end of 2001. Honestly I think they just named it a “main event” out of respect to The Undertaker and to give Angle a bit of notoriety as they were about to push the hell out of him.

Always remember the match with Undertaker and HHH on SD where Angle accidentally nails Undertaker with a sledgehammer. It was the first SD I ever saw .

 at Angle almost shitting himself when his pyro went off. He’s pissed off the Dead Man and he’s GONNA PAY. Undertaker doesn’t even wait for his entrance, instead he comes down on his bike during Angle’s entrance to take the fight to Kurt!

Undertaker is fucked off, and beats the shit out of Angle early on. He hits a couple of high impact moves, but keeps picking Kurt up after a 2 count. He also tells Time White to fuck off. He doesn’t want to end this one quick. He wants to hurt him SLOOOOOW.

Angle is desperate, and he finds the opportunity to hit Undertaker in the knee again with the wrench! Undertaker keeps Angle at bay in the ring with some big right hands, but Angle is relentless in his attempt to go after the injured knee. He finally gets a chop block and Undertaker is down!

So Angle attacks the legs, Undertaker makes a comeback.  at the referee on his knees ready to do a 3 count and begging Undertaker to cover Angle after the Chokeslam. The fuck, Tim White? 

LAST RIDE! And this one is over.

Decent match. They go on to have MUCH better matches. Later in the year at Survivor Series for starters. Undertaker’s leg selling is… shoddy as fuck lol. Which is a shame because Undertaker IS one of the very best sellers in the fucking WORLD when he actually sells. But this was during a time when Undertaker really wasn’t at the top of his game. Shame.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Chris Jericho Vs Triple H – Last Man Standing Match

Jericho kissed STEPHANIE, but now has to go through a Last Man Standing match with HHH. Fair deal! 

I HEARD HE SHAVES ONE LEG SO WHEN HE GOES TO BED AT NIGHT IT FEELS LIKE HE’S SLEEPING WITH A WOMEN! 

Jericho has the injured ribs following a sledgehammer shot last week. Earlier he attacked HHH and the moment the bell rings he goes all out to try and take the Game out as quick as possible in hopes that HHH won’t get the chance to target the ribs. Unfortunately HHH gets the chance to target the ribs . I like BBQ Ribs.

So HHH is the heel of this program. Jericho is the face. The storyline is that Jericho keeps verbally abusing Stephanie and has forced himself on her a couple of times. HHH wants revenge. And is somehow the heel. 

Fucking referee is an annoying cunt in this. He’s ALWAYS getting in the way even though this is a fucking LAST MAN STANDING match. Object of the match is to practically KILL YOUR OPPONENT. The ref is there to count to 10 and NOTHING ELSE. So fuck off already dammit.

Great rib work by HHH. Great rib selling by Jericho. Great rib eating by me. OM NOM NOM RIBS.

LOOK AT STEPHANIE I THINK HE’S HAVING SOME EVIL THOUGHTS RIGHT NOW. I’m having evil thoughts looking at Stephanie .

Jericho gets brutalised but keeps getting up again and again. HHH is pissed. Then Jericho does a crotch job. So HHH hits a Pedigree. He’s all cocky and lays down on the corner in the ropes because he thinks its all over… but JERICHO IS UP!

STEEL CHAIR~!

Fucking referee. He’s spazzing out like a fucking spazzy twatty cunt.

HHH goes for a Pedigree on the chair, but the fucking REFEREE again gets in the way and gives Jericho enough time to hit a low blow and get the chair for himself. Referee doesn’t give a fuck as Jericho decks THE GAME in THE HEAD. I am confused that Jericho is the babyface in this story to begin with, but clearly having a fucking BIASED REFEREE helping him isn’t helping me understand.

BLOOD~! DUB DUB EEEE NEED TO GO AWAY FROM TEH PEE GEE SO WE CAN GET BACK TEH BLUD.

So Jericho’s ribs are still fucked, but now he has perhaps evened the playing field thanks to a biased referee and the chair shot to the head that has BUSTED HIM WIDE OPEN (HHH that is). Maybe Jericho can pull out the big “babyface” (LOL he’s a heel) comeback!!!

PEDIGREE ON THE STEEL STEPS? 

No . DAMN YOU JERICHO. Told you he was the heel in this. Everyone (ME) wanted to see that. But no, babyface Jericho couldn’t allow it to happen. Pussy.

DOUBLE MONITOR SHOTS TO THE FACE~!

Awwwww Stephanie looks so cute being all upset and concerned while hiding behind a ring post.

WALLS OF JERICHO! HHH IS TAPPING!

The Game gets to the ropes, and the ref asks Jericho to break but he doesn’t have to. Oh but earlier with the Abdominal Stretch by HHH he HAD to break the hold. Stephanie comes in for the save and that HEEL Jericho puts her in the Walls . HOW DARE HE. HHH runs at him from behind in the exact same way that would tear his quad a year later.

SLEDGY THE SLEDGEHAMMER! Yeah I named it. It ends up buried (ha, get it?) right into the ribs of HHH!

Back body drop off the time keeper’s table through the announce table! Both men are OUT! I bet they were supposed to do that from one announce table to the other, but Chyna getting CLOTHESLINED through it earlier fucked that spot up .

THE GAME manages to stand at 9 and he gets the win! The triumphant babyface victory! He beat the evil Jericho and got revenge for his beautiful wife! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Match is awesome. Tremendous. Excellent. Best LMS match by quite a large margin. Closet to it would be the NM 07 HHH/Orton match (FUCK Umaga/Cena). I do still find it odd that HHH is the heel and Jericho is the babyface . Finish is a total babyface “battling the odds” and coming out on top win too . YO STEPHANIE, I DID IT!

Rating: ****3/4
CAL SCALE – 8

The Rock Vs Chris Benoit – WWF Championship Match

Benoit looks snazzy in a torn up Rock shirt. As does Shane with those sunglasses. They just need that WWF Championship with them too…

If The Rocks gets himself DQ’d here, he WILL lose the WWF Title! Go on Rock, get DQ’d .

Oh man, LOVE how they do the spot with Rock chasing Shane so he runs into the ring and you just KNOW Benoit is gonna cut him off… except Rock clotheslines Benoit and keeps on running after Shane!!!

SHANE’S A PUSSY chants. What do we get these days? Walrus chants at Heyman from time to time? 

Lawler: “I wanna apologise right now to the people at home watching this for this crude language coming from these fans here in Dallas.”

JR: “I wanna apologise to the fans at home for The King being the biggest butt kisser for the McMahons that ever sat out here!”

 god I LOVE JR and Lawler’s back and forth shit. Not just in this match or this show, but fuck, every PPV just has so much pure GOLD. Can you imagine if the show structure was the same back in the day with Heenan and Monsoon? How much gold could we have gotten from them with a weekly 2 hour show like Raw and then 12 PPV’s a year? 

Benoit does a good job of controlling The Rock, but even then The Rock isn’t giving up. So Shane throws in the title belt and distracts the referee so Benoit can deck Rock in the FACE with it. Doesn’t work though .

How AWESOME are Benoit’s back suplexes?

SHARPSHOOTER! EARL HENBER! CANADIAN WHO TRAINED WITH THE HART FAMILY! MCMAHON AT RINGSIDE! Bah, no screw job, Rock doesn’t lose the title that way .

JR: WHY DO YOU EMBARRASS YOURSELF BY SAYING STUPID THINGS LIKE THAT THAT AREN’T TRUE?” 

Shane is pretty superb on the outside. Always busy, always doing something, and is a HUGE difference maker a number of times in the match.

 Rock steals a fan’s beer to throw at Benoit, and it splashes on another fan who CHEERS at the fact he got splashed with beer by Benoit and The Rock .

Rock is really good in this too (was about to put great but then thought fuck it  ). I like how his comeback attempts aren’t just a couple of punches or a shitty clothesline, but some big impactful move. Like the powerbomb attempt that end up dropping Benoit neck first into the ropes, or him hitting a spinebuster and getting a People’s Elbow in without hesitation because he realises he may not get another chance with a guy like Benoit.

But as good as Shane is on the outside and Rock is on the inside, BENOIT is the fucking KING in this one. His offence is impeccable. He just looks like he SHOULD be the WWF champion. And of course he sells all of Rock’s shit perfectly and cuts him off well every time too.

And then when it becomes clear that maybe, just maybe Rock isn’t going to lose, Shane and Benoit set Rock up BEAUTIFULLY for a DQ! Rock applies a Crossface, the ref gets back up and calls for the bell… and BENOIT is named the NEW WWF CHAMPION!!! Shane then cracks Rock in the face with a chair and busts him open too, just for the fecking hell of it .

YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES!

Ahh damn it. Foley comes out and says he didn’t see a DQ and neither did the fans, so this match is restarting .

GERMAN SUPLEX ON A PAPER CUP! Yes, fans actually threw shit in the ring! No doubt after Foley restarted this match and claimed that Benoit wasn’t champion .

CROSSFACE! Rock is gonna lose the title anyway, and he’s gonna lose it clean! Screw you, Foley! Benoit is gonna be champion whether you like it or not dammit!

Bah, Rock escapes. Rock Bottom. Rock wins .

So aside from the shitty finish (happens a lot in Rock matches…), this was awesome.

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

Overall CAL SCALE – 20.5

Backlash 2000

 my all time favourite event in the history of everything and all existence.

Edge & Christian Vs X-Pac & Road Dogg – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Debra randomly returns to do the ring announcing for this match. No idea where she went, and honestly she does a TERRIBLE job at announcing. But she’s married to Austin at this point and she had nice boobs so ok.

DX are “favoured” to win this tag match. Ok, more experience and shit I understand… but fuck, JR and Lawler are always putting over DX as quite possibly the best tag team ever. Did these guys EVER team up before Feb when Gunn got injured? 

LOL, Edge takes down Pac with a spinning heel kick, something we’re more likely to see from him rather than Edge… so X-Pac spits in Edge’s face and tags out . Sounds more like something Road Dogg would do to Bradshaw before running away and tagging in Billy .

E&C have things going their way early on, but we get a real nice cut off spot where DX gain the advantage and begin to isolate Christian. CHRISTIAN FIP . Hope it’s good in 2000 like it is nowadays.

X-PAC RIDING BAREBACK ON CHRISTIAN IN THE CORNER. Right after Tori choked him a little. Sounds like Storytime with Andy. All that’s missing is a cripple. Edge is kinda crippled now, and he’s on the apron, so can he count?

DX keep using those good old fashioned HEEL TACTICS to control the match and keep things going their way. Preventing the ref from seeing tags, double teaming, using Tori etc. Then eventually Edge & Christian turn one of their HEEL TACTICS against them with Edge hitting a diving headbutt on Road Dogg while the ref is busy with X-Pac!

X-FACTOR! The ref is busy dealing with Tori and Road Dogg, so Christian comes in and BUSTS X-PAC OPEN with a ring bell! E&C retain their titles!

Good tag match. Good good tag match. Me likey . I like how E&C are still in their “slow heel turn” phase so they can do the babyface shit in their matches while also resort to heel stuff (ring bell for example) without completely turning and still getting good crowd reactions.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

Dean Malenko Vs Scotty 2 Hotty – WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match

THE ICEMAN VS THE WORM.

Ahhh heel Lawler, how I miss you. When you were good anyway. Gotta love him trying to defend Malenko’s use of the ropes to win the LHW title on SD.

 at JR revealing he attempted THE WORM.

Speaking of, Malenko countering the bulldog that would normally lead to THE WORM with a rather epic clothesline is  worthy.

Dean works the leg of Scotty, which is smart because it slows down Scotty and wears them down for the TEXAS CLOVERLEAF. Good GOD at the Mr Perfect bump when Malenko kicks Scotty’s leg out from under him while he’s at the ropes. Scotty damn near KILLS HIMSELF doing it.

Scotty sells the leg really well for the MOST part. He does have some iffy moments though lol.

He gets a couple of comebacks in, but he does stupid shit like CLIMB THE ROPES WITH A BAD LEG, which allows Malenko to counter with SUPERPLEXES.

Iffy selling moment: Scotty hits THE WORM. And he HOPS ON THE BAD LEG to do it as if nothing was wrong. Bah. At least Malenko keeps things good with a nice callback spot to the SD match by attempting to use the ropes again, and hitting a motherfucking SWEET double arm powerbomb.

Malenko can’t seem to put Scotty away so he resorts to climbing the ropes. Scotty sees it as his chance to REVENGE with a superplex of his own, but it’s countered into a TOP ROPE DDT and Malenko retains his title.

Great match. Not AS great as I used to think it was, but overall it holds up pretty well. Malenko is great. Scotty is mostly good. Shame about the whole WORM thing.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

ALL HAND ON DECK!

The Big Bossman & Bull Buchanan Vs The APA

APA . 4 big strong guys who like to fight. A SLOBBERKNOCKER~!

About 1 minute into the match and we’ve already seen Bradshaw smash Bull in the face with a big boot, DDT him, then hit a SUPER SHOULDER BLOCK off the ropes. I reckon this Bradshaw guy could make it all the way to the top one day.

 Bossman tries to be all cool and shit and lands on his feet after being thrown outside by Bradshaw. Then Farooq kicks in him the face.

Oh, anyone wanna take a guess as to who might be the ref in this TAG TEAM match? No, it’s not Earl Hebner. TEDDY “TAG TEAM MATCH” LONG! Bet his favourite event of all time was WM 2000. ALL DEM TAG TEAM MATCHES, PLAYA!

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. Might be a top 5 finisher of all time for me. I love it. Match don’t end there though. Bossman and Farooq spend about half this match on the outside brawling with each other . Finish is pretty epic.

Awesome brawl between 4 big bastards who just beat the shit out of each other + showed some pretty tremendous athleticism for their sizes.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Great little backstage promos with The Hardy Boys talking about working together then only fighting if it comes down to them. Then they switch to Crash and BOB with Bob saying he can’t wait to beat the hell out of Crash .

Crash Holly Vs Hardcore Holly Vs Tazz Vs Perry Saturn Vs Matt Hardy Vs Jeff Hardy – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

 multiman hardcore title match . They show clips of Crash winning the title back on SD during a Matt Vs Jeff hardcore title match. Matt Vs Jeff was a pretty damn awesome hardcore title match. Needs some love.

Match can only end if someone pins Crash or Crash pins someone. None of that losing the title without being pinned bullshit! 30 seconds in and we see a POWERBOMB already lol. A sign of things to come .

Crash tries to run away and everyone fights on the Backlash stage. CLIMBING HIGH AND JUMPING~!

I remember the first time I saw this, when Jeff does a big jump the commentators say he’s like a young Shawn Michaels. I didn’t quite hear what he said the first time other than “Shawn Michaels” and I rewound the tape (VHS bitches) to hear it again because I thought they mentioned HBK in a meaningful way . Was hoping they would explain his absence because I’d missed the last 2 years and had no idea where he (or Undertaker for that matter) was.

 poor Crash, he really, really takes a shit kicking in this one . Having to pin him only forces everyone to try and kill him the entire time, while killing each other to take them out long enough so they can secure the pin .

Match does slow down and get a little dull at one point which makes me sad . Needs more STEVE BLACKMAN. Maybe even Al Snow and a bowling ball.

 at Tazz. SON OF A BITCH! CHOKE! CHOKE! While he’s got some wire wrapped around the neck of Jeff .

DICK MURDOCH REFERENCE~! I’m sure I have to add a couple of points on the CAL SCALE for that .

Hardy’s bring out the fun in the shape of a LADDER~! The ladder gets a pop .

“HI PERRY, WHAT’S GOING ON? We’ve got Perry Saturn draped across our announce table  “. Oh man, the way Lawler says that is incredible .

Swanton off the ladder! Matt goes for the cover, Jeff breaks it up and they look to fight until TAZZ shows up. TAZZMISSION! STOP SIGN! Everyone gets taken out on the outside, and Crash gets the pin off the stop sign!

Mostly a fun match. Does have that dull spot in the middle though. JR constantly confusing Tazz and Saturn is  though.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

The Big Show Vs Kurt Angle

WHEN IT COMES CRASHING DOWN AND IT HURTS INSIDE~!

THE SHOWSTER!

THE HULK UP! THE LEG DROP! THE KICKOUT!

HOGAN CHANTS! “MORE PEOPLE ARE CHANTING HOGAN THAN THEY HAVE IN YEARS!”

IF THE LEGDROP DON’T WORK, THE CHOKESLAM WILL!

GOAT SQUASH MATCH!

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Dudley Boys Vs T & A

I LOVE this tag match. I LOVE the build up video too. TRISH IN LINGERIE ROLLING AROUND ON TABLES. I’VE GOT WOOD! FAP FAP FAP!

I’M GONNA GET YOU YA LITTLE BITCH!

Albert takes some great shots and bumps really well for his size early on as The Dudley Boys control the opening part of the match. Albert rules. T & A as a team ruled. TRISH ruled. Dudley Boys rules. This match has everything going for it .

“DUDLEY’S UNIQUE VERSION OF BIRTH CONTROL”  JR’s call for the headbutt to the groin spot.

Good god I think Albert killed D-Von. BICYCLE KICK RIGHT TO THE FUCKING FACE. And that brings us to the D-Von FIP. T & A are GREAT during all of this, really taking it to D-Von, using the time tested STF as well as you are likely to see. Oh, and Albert press slamming Test on D-Von then screaming to Bubba “TESTIFY TO THAT!” is awesome. Then he keeps taunting Bubba after the hot tag is made but the ref never sees it . ALBERT RULES.

D-Von is a great FIP too. Bumps around really, really well and you can’t help but wanna cheer him on because he is just getting MAULED by these 2 big bastards.

Oh hey, TRISH is at ringside. Not that you’d notice because she does NOTHING. She’s literally just there because Bubba wants to put her through a table. She’s a pretty shitty manager lol.

HOT TAG~! Back suplex neck breaker and everyone, including the commentators, think it’s a 3-D. Urgh. Morons. They go for the ACTUAL 3-D, but Trish gets on the apron, shakes his titties to distract Bubba, and Test cracks him in the face with a big boot for the win!

Awesome tag. Love it love it love it love it. A great example of the STF. And then afterwards we get TRISH through a table.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Eddie Guerrero Vs Essa Rios – WWF European Championship Match

Eddie is wrestling in a tux. LITA LITA LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP is out there with Essa. Man-Chyna is there too.

Oh man, first exchange and we get BOTCHES GALORE. Essa nearly trips over Eddie, then Eddie… does something and doesn’t even connect but Essa sells it anyway and I’m wondering WTF is going on.

Huh, Eddie IS a heel here. Odd. He was kinda a little bit of a tweener during this time I guess then. Because his Latino Heat stuff was getting over and entertaining people, but he was still screaming shit like “screw you” to the fans during matches.

OMG HOW HOT DOES LITA LOOK?

 what a SPLAT Essa makes when he dives over the ropes and Eddie moves.

Crowd are pretty dead here, but who can blame them? They just wasted about 10 sodding minutes putting TRISH on a stretcher and putting her in the ambulance. Eddie and Essa botching and being sloppy as fuck ain’t helping. Wonder what Eddie would have been like had he come into WWF CLEAN instead of waiting until 2002.

LITA FAP FAP FAP gets thrown off the top rope right into the Spanish announce table! FUCK YOU MAN-CHYNA YOU BIG COCKED CUNT. JUST BECAUSE LITA IS HOT AND YOU ARE A MAN.

Asai(?) Moonsault from Essa and he and Eddie crash awkwardly into the announce table. Looked painful.

They make it up with Essa’s INSANE dive over the turnbucke to Eddie on the outside!

Fucking Man-Chyna. She practically destroys poor LITA because she tried to interfere in the match… then moments later interferes herself as if everything is fine. Cunt. She wishes she had one.

Aeroplane spin into a neckbreaker looked cool… but the finish? Eh. Fell flat.

Match is… decent. Sloppy and botchy in a LOT of places, but also has some good shit here and there too. LITA being at ringside helps . Shame Man-Chyna is the one to get stripped at the end instead of LITA.

Disappointing in a LOT of ways .

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

FUCK ME STEPHANIE HAS AMAZING LEGS. VINCE MCMAHON HAS THE PERSONALITY OF TONY SOPRANO. JR WATCHES THE SOPRANOS. PLANES, TRAINS AND AUTOMOBILES REFERENCE. GOAT PPV.

Chris Benoit Vs Chris Jericho – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

These 2 fucking hate each other, and JR brings up their past and how they’ve wrestled around the world and shit which I think adds to matches like this. They made a collar and elbow tie up look VICIOUS at the start of the match. Then SLAPS TO THE FACE… and then they exchange pin counters. Which is just odd lol.

CHOP BATTLE~! But it looks and sounds brutal so it’s ok .

OH MY GOD. I literally said “Uuuuuuhhhwwwwww” (hard to exactly spell out the noise I made, so just go with it lol) out loud as Benoit does the suicide dive and Jericho moves… and Benoit doesn’t reach the barricade instead he nose dives HEAD FIRST into the floor. Surprised he didn’t need neck surgery then and there!

Speaking of sick looking bumps, Jericho gets thrown into the steps and leaps over them, so Benoit dropkicks them back at him. Instead of the usual “to the knee” bump… the top half of the steel steps goes right into the fucking RIBS of Jericho and fuck, looks like it hurt a TON. No idea if that was how it was supposed to happen lol.

So Jericho is HURT. And Benoit is Benoit. ATTACK THE RIBS . Benoit knows what to do . And he does it well .

I’D HAVE A HEART ATTACK IF HE GIVES UP ON AN ABDOMINAL STRETCH. Uhhh… careful there Jerry… methinks you might have a heart condition .

I like how Jericho gets ONE opening after some pretty brutal rib work and immediately tries for the win with a Lionsault. Unfortunately for him, it hurt his ribs so he couldn’t go for a cover straight away.

Back Superplex that Benoit counters with a cross body looks great. Makes one hell of an IMPACT on the mat too. DOUBLE POWERBOMB. Kinda hate that move. Jericho always seems to do it at dumb times… like when he’s had his arm worked over… or in this match after spending most of the match getting his ribs pummelled.

CROSSFACE~!

Love how Benoit fights while Jericho tries to lock in the Walls of Jericho. He fights for his life to avoid being fully turned over, and in doing so gets closer to the ropes so when it IS locked in he can easily reach the ropes and escape with little to no damage done.

REF BUMP~! IC TITLE TO THE FACE! THE COVER! 2 COUNT? BOOOOO!

FLYING HEADBUTT! JERICHO GETS THE IC TITLE UP! BENOIT GOES FACE FIRST! THE REF CALLS FOR THE BELL. THE COMMENTATORS ARE UTTERLY CLUELESS. LOL.

“WELL THAT DECISION SUCKS!” 

So this match is awesome. I’m a big fan of the finish too, even if it looked to have legitimately fuck Benoit’s face up . Also, it begins the 2 year long feud between Jericho and Tim White, ending in a HIAC match at JD 02! Tim retires and tries to commit suicide every week on TV afterwards!

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

Triple H Vs The Rock – Shane McMahon Special Guest Referee – WWF Championship Match

HHH has Vince and STEPHANIE FAP FAP in his corner… and Rock has AUSTIN 3:16! Except Austin hasn’t shown up yet. Vince’s sources claim he might have had some transportation difficulties. TONY SOPRANO~!

CARD SUBJECT TO CHANGE~!

The match that SHOULD have main evented WM. Then again I do love the finish to that match as opposed to the finish to this match… so I’m fine with this main eventing a “B” PPV. After all, Rock is just a B+ wrestler .

I lied. Rock is closer to a D- or something .

 “VINCE YOU MISSED THE RING, THAT WAS THE RING POST!!!”

 at HHH and Shane hugging before HHH goes for a pin attempt. Jericho can learn a thing or two about how to treat referees.

I do find it slightly odd that HHH has Rock in a sleeper hold and Shane is checking on him and shit… why doesn’t Shane just call for the bell and say Rock gave up? The whole purpose of Shane being the ref is to utterly SCREW The Rock out of the title. Fast counts for HHH, refusing to count for The Rock… so why stop there? The match could have been over already! Nitpicking I know. In fact I don’t really care lol, I’m just rambling . SHANE O’MAC!

I love how Vince keeps getting involved, but at the same time they have Shane doing something with HHH so he doesn’t see anything, still keeping up the idea that Shane is impartial even though we all know he isn’t.

DDT TO HHH! 1…2…3 MY GOD THE ROCK JUST WON THE WWF TI…HAHAHA FUCK NO. Shane refuses to count! Suck it, Rock.

DOUBLE ROCK BOTTOM THROUGH THE TABLE! Shane is dead.

MR BIG GRAPEFRUITS! 

PEDIGREE! But Shane is down. Better get a qualified referee out here. PAT PATTERSON AND GERALD BRISCO! Pat only gets a 2 though. Pat Patterson, the first ever IC champion. I should really review the tournament where he won the belt. I hear he had a ***** classic that night .

HHH, THE STOOGES and Vince McMahon lay into The Rock and this one is surely gonna end soon.

*GLASS SMASH*

STONE COLD! STONE COLD IS HERE! THE RATTLESNAKE IS BACK!

He takes out everyone with a chair except for The Rock. Linda comes down, shoves poor sweet STEPHANIE down, reinstates Earl Hebner who counts the 3 off a People’s Elbow and we have a NEW WWF Champion! Shitty outcome but an amazing finish overall. Pop for Austin is amazing. Out of this world.

Ok, so technically this isn’t the greatest of matches. Nor is it really that “great”. BUT, the atmosphere, the build up, the shenanigans, the Austin return and even the title change all combine to make one of the most pure FUN matches of all time, one that can easily be pointed to in order to define the Attitude Era. THIS is an example of why PRO WRESTLING is so great. I don’t even like The Rock (NEWSFLASH~!) but good god this entire thing is awesome.

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

Overall CAL SCALE – 25

Insurrextion 2000

PREPARE YOURSELF FOR A MUTINY.

2 Cool Vs Perry Saturn & Dean Malenko

2 Cool should probably be my all time favourite tag team. Why? It’s 2 white guys who can’t dance for shit. THAT’S LIKE ME!!! 

Great tag work from Malenko and Saturn. They keep taunting GMS forcing him to run into the ring and distract the ref, allowing them to double team THE WORM. But there is some DISSENTION between them as of late because Saturn is the only Radical without a title. He ends up shoving Malenko at one point, right into a roll up!

DOUBLE WORM!!!  at Saturn selling it and falling into the camera man.

HIP HOP DROP! This one is over.

Decent tag, fun, nothing more tbh. Hot crowd which helps too. Malenko and Saturn go at it after the match lol.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

VINCE MCMAHON! He actually flew to England! Yey! He’s disappointed that The Rock is the new WWF Champion. Me too, Vince. Me too.

Bull Buchanan Vs Kane

Remember when Bossman and Buchanan took out Kane? I do, but I doubt many other people will .

Kane’s left hand is in a cast thingy still.

Paul Bearer; HE’S 6 FEET WIDE, FACE LIKE A WELL KEPT GRAVE 

Bull kinda lands on his feet from a back body drop which is cool to see from a guy of his size. Then he hits a DDT and Kane doesn’t quite go with it. He’s like half a second behind lol .

Buchanan should come back and join THE SHIELD. He’s already got the outfit. Can replace Reigns while Reigns turns face and rocks the mother fucking world.

One handed chokeslam while I was writing that last sentence and this is over. SALAD DODGER! Too short to be anything.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

HHH and STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP backstage. Damn, Steph got them LEGS on display. They are wondering who Vince meant earlier when he said a McMahon family member would leave champion. Did he mean HHH… or did he mean SHANE?

Road Dogg Vs Bradshaw

Have I mentioned yet how much I love the DX theme from this time? I have? Well good, because it’s awesome. Yey TORI coming to the ring with Road Dogg. Don’t need X-Pac to see her .

JR: SHE BELONGS ON PAGE 3. I am in agreement Mr Ross.

COME ON, BARK JR! 

Road Dogg and Tori are MAD OVER.

 Bradshaw. Can you believe that the APA only have 3 tag matches on PPV in 2000? And 5 matches in total with them being in the hardcore match at WM and then this. WE MAY SEE A TORI SANDWICH WITH ACOLYTE BREAD! Ha, sex joke.

Farooq gets ejected from ring side .

Doesn’t help Road Dogg though, because Bradshaw is a killer anyway .

BRADSHAW DID A FLOAT OVER SUPLEX. Think about it. Then be shocked.

Oh man watching this match is hilarious thinking back to all the Road Dogg shoots where he talks about being terrified of the guy because he was so stiff in the ring .

HOLY SHIT ROAD DOGG WINS. CLEAN! IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RING WITH HIS FINISHER! This was fun. Bradshaw beats the fuck out of Road Dodd, and Road Dogg gets a couple of shots in here and there. APA stuff, singles or tag, is always entertainment.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Terri with her tits nearly popping out eating a banana. Wonder what they are trying to do here? That face ruins everything though.

The Kat Vs Terri – Arm Wrestling Contest

 no. Wait… I feel I need to watch this… but why?

Stalling… stalling… stalling… stalling… think I made a mistake here… more stalling… arm wrestling… spit in face, water bottle in face… Kat wins…

THE KAT’S TITS! THE KAT’S TITS! ALL NAKED AND OUT AND STUFF!!!

Except we don’t see them. Not on the DVD release anyway. It’s time like this I’m glad I have other versions of the show .

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

The Dudley Boys Vs Rikishi & The Big Show

SHOWKISHI~!

This is dull as fuck for the most part tbh… but one think I did take notice of was when the Dudley’s hit the headbutt to groin spot, and Lawler describes it as D-Von going head first into “the old Jack Swaggs” . IS SWAGGER NAMED AFTER BALLS? 

Edge & Christian show up and Bubba gets speared. Lawler: “THEY’RE DOING A RUN ON! IT’S A RUN ON!”  what a fucking moron.

2 Cool come down and everyone dances. Yawn at this match.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

Chris Benoit Vs Kurt Angle

6 days after Backlash, and poor Benoit still has a killer black eye that’s STILL swelled up.

 another Angle = Cody reference! “I’VE BEEN IN ENGLAND ALL WEEK LONG, AND I COULDN’T HELP BUT NOTCIE ONE THING. YOUR CHILDREN”  you sick fuck Angle. You too Cody. 

Crash Holly… randomly… comes down to ringside to do commentary. No idea.

Oh, he wants to fight an Englishman for the hardcore title. Wonder who it’ll be…

So Angle Vs Benoit on “PPV” in 2000 huh? They have 2 matches at Insurrextion, one this year and one next year. This one is often forgotten about because, well, so far the event in general is forgettable plus they weren’t feuding during this time.

Angle is as un-Olympic as he’s ever been here. EYE GOUGING~!

Mostly a brawl with Angle going after the eye, and honestly it’s quite fun.  at Angle using his free hand to shove the referee’s finger into Benoit’s eye to escape the crossface .

Nice little sequence leading into the Angle slam with Angle dodging a couple of bunches and countering into the Angle Slam. Match isn’t a classic or anywhere near, but for the time it got they really worked the eye injury and it was done pretty nicely. I like this.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

The British Bulldog Vs Crash Holly – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

Well seems we’ve found an Englishman to fight Crash lol.

Crash throws a bunch of weapons into the ring including a rubbish bin, but you can see it rolling outside on the other side of the ring. BUT you also see a camera man reach out to stop it. Then 2 seconds later you see that it’s no longer in the ring. THE FUCK DID THE GUY DO? 

 all the weapons look like cheap versions of the American stuff. The “trash can” is some plastic shit, the steel chair is also plastic I’m fairly certain . Even the sticks look really thin and cheap . Where the fuck did they show for this crap? B&Q . Looks like shit but costs a fortune, so they probably thought it must be good for that price. Morons.

Powerslam on some sticks and we got a new hardcore champion. Well this was wank.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

Edge & Christian earlier today signing autographs for £5. BARGAIN!

The Hardy Boys Vs Edge & Christian – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

 apparently E&C got facials after getting stinkfaced last week. I ain’t touching that one.

I’M NOT INTO MENS HAIR LIKE YOU ARE.

Not much to ramble on here, because I was actually just WATCHING THE MATCH. Gets a lot of time and is, well, really fucking good. End with E&C using the ring bell to lay out the Hardy Boys and get DQ’d as they were just about to lose the belts.

Dudley’s show up to gain revenge for what happened earlier.  cheap looking shitty table too. It can barely stand up . Edge through the table.

This match might save the show from being the worst of 2000. In fact, it HAS. Still 2nd atm but who knows what else is still to come .

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

Eddie Guerrero Vs Chris Jericho – WWF European Championship Match

 at the hype video for this. ITS FAR FROM OVER BETWEEN JERICHO AND EDDIE GUERRERO & CHYNA! Except Jericho moved straight into a feud with Benoit afterwards for the IC title (which he now has), and only gets his “revenge” match on a UK PPV . Well a TV match too but come on, a TV match? LOL

Eddie is heel. Randomly. Wasn’t he like, babyface going into Backlash?

 a COIN FLIP to decide which title is up for grabs .

Jericho dominates at the start so Eddie decides to fuck off. And then Chyna throws Eddie back to the ring. Uhhh what?

SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM JERICHO. And I’m fairly certain it was his BACK that actually connected with Eddie .

Chyna clotheslines Jericho on the outside. So she’s fine with helping Eddie CHEAT to win, but getting counted out to retain the title is a no no?

 at Lawler just throwing out random basic Spanish words in an attempt to prove to JR he can speak Spanish.

The crowd don’t give a SHIT about this. Just like in 97, except in 97 they were having incredible matches.

DDT TO JERICHO BY CHYNA. That’s how Eddie won the European title to begin with. Because apparently Chyna’s DDT is more devastating than anyone else’s.

OMG JERICHO KICKED HOW WHO COULD HAVE GUESSED HE WOULDN’T LOSE THE SAME WAY AS BEFORE I FOR ONE AM UTTERLY SHOCKED HOW DID HE MANAGE TO DO THAT THEY TOTALLY GOT ME I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER RIGHT THEN AND THERE OMG OMG I’M MARKING OUT BRO.

Title belt to the face and THAT ends the match.

Dead crowd certainly doesn’t help, but eh, it’s not like they were setting the world on fire.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP looking super hot. HHH and Shane are there too. Not hot. They can’t decide which one is gonna be the WWF Champ.

The Rock Vs Triple H Vs Shane McMahon – WWF Championship Match

COME ON, GET HIM TRIPLE H. YEAH! Vince has such an awesome face while he says that.

Rock gets Lawler’s crown and puts it on Shane, then punches him in the face. So was that like, Rock taking a shot at the UK? Cunt. DON’T YOU PUNCH THE QUEEN!

 at Shane and HHH just having fun doing some shuffling and punching. And these are the HEELS? I don’t get it.

Then The Rock does it, but he ends up just stealing Dusty’s move and bionic elbow. GET YOUR OWN SHIT YOU HACK. Then again your own shit is the People’s Elbow, and how fucking shit is that? Makes THE WORM look credible.

HHH and Shane play nice for a while, until Shane breaks up a 3 count and then attacks HHH from behind! MOONSAULT! HHH moves, but Shane lands on his feet!!!  at HHH SHOUTING to Rock “DDT” and then Rock hits a DDT .

 at Shane going for a Pedigree, but he can’t do it because he isn’t strong enough.

REF BUMP~!

Rock gets LAID OUT… with the WOMEN’S TITLE BELT . Take that you prick. GERALD BRISCO!

LOW BLOW! PEDIGREE! SLOW COUNT FROM BRISCO FOR SOME REASON! 2 COUNT! BOOOOO!

 HHH decks Brisco. SECOND PEDIGREE! But no referee, so Vince steals the ref shirt… but EARL HEBNER SHOWS UP!!! Vince punches the ring post aiming for Earl!

EARL HEBNER IN EARL’S COURT! LET’S GO EARL! LET’S GO EARL!

 at the chase scene with Vince going after Earl. ROCK BOTTOM!

Shitty People’s Elbow to Shane and this one is done. Terrible, terrible finish, but god what a fun match. I mean super fun. MCMAHON SHANANIGANS are always amazing.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Overall CAL SCALE – 7.5

Rebellion 2000

I like how they cut together a video package essentially using promos from the build up to Unforgiven . Worked out well I guess lol, plus it’s all they had to work with because they didn’t exactly hype this show on TV I don’t think, since America didn’t get it until like a year later on that month PPV service thingy.

Foley promo to start things. Just to tell us that HHH isn’t on the show. Because he wasn’t in the main event. Oh and the 4 way match for the WWF title is now No DQ and no countouts. Because we often see those 4 way matches end like that…

Angle shows up. Can’t be wasting PPV time on matches after all! Angle making fun of Englishmen not winning gold medals. Bet he looks back at this and regrets saying it . Tazz and JR are doing commentary.

T&A Vs The Dudley Boys Vs Edge & Christian – Elimination Tables Match

 TRISH FAP FAP.

BIG VIS sign in the crowd. PETE GAS too. Man, Sheffield fans are awesome! Well, they are when I’m in the crowd. Wish they still did the UK PPV’s. They stopped doing them the same year I started going to shows. Cunts.

ALBERT KICKS A TABLE IN HALF! Take THAT furniture!

Test had an awesome big boot. One of like, 3 things he was good at. But I liked T&A. Great team.

 at Edge. Tags himself in after Test hits the big boot, kicks Bubba a few times on the floor, then when Bubba starts to get back up he runs and tags Test back in and runs out of the ring again.

Edge & Christian see an opportunity to take out T&A who have been DOMINATING this match so far, and end up powerbombing Albert through a table while he was trying to superplex Bubba. Why are T&A always the first team to get eliminated in matches like this? I WANT MORE T&A DAMMIT!!! At least let TRISH stay at ringside.

DEVON KICKS A TABLE… but it doesn’t break. He’s no Albert.

With T&A gone we get a standard E&C Vs Dudley Boys tag, but a standard match between those guys is like a fucking classic match compared to what we see today from anyone but THE SHIELD. Fun little finishing stretch, then Christian saves Edge from a 3-D by running into him, then stands up and takes the 3-D through a table himself. Good match overall.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

LITA LITA LITA LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH interview.

Ivory Vs Lita – WWF Women’s Championship Match

Lita got busted open at Survivor Series  but she gets another shot at the title tonight .

Tazz wants to see Ivory nude. Can’t say I’d complain if I saw it too .

Why is Steven Richards always at ringside with Ivory but the Hardy Boys never come out to support Lita? If I was associated with LITA she’d have to get a restraining order out to keep me away! And trust me, she WOULD get the restraining order .

Match is like, a MILLION times less sloppy than their SS match. LITA SUICIDE DIVE TO WHITE SOCKS. It’s short as fuck, but they don’t fuck up shit constantly so for the time it gets and given the fact it’s a WWF women’s match, it’s fine. Screwy finish and Ivory retains.

LITA 

Rating: *3/4
CAL SCALE – 0.5

FINALLY THE ROCK HAS COME BACK TO SHEFFIELD. Now hurry up and fuck off you numpty. He does a promo/interviewy thing. Same old shit.

Perry Saturn Vs Steve Blackman – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

 YES! Hardcore title match . After Unforgiven we didn’t get a hardcore title match on normal PPV until NO WAY OUT 2001. RR match doesn’t count .

Perry Saturn hits ONE OF DEM MEXICAN MOVES over the ropes to Blackman.  @ Tazz. Almost as bad as me and the Japanese A Vs Japanese B thing.

They do some cool shit early on with moves, then outcome the weapons and things go from eeeee to EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE kinda fun. Fuck me at Saturn drop toe holding Blackman into the trash can. Blackman’s head smacks it and damn, not often a trash can shot looks that painful .

Saturn probably does his best “wrestling” in this match than I recall seeing in WWF. Combine that with the weapons and damn, guaranteed FUN.

Saturn does the suicide dive through the ropes into a weapon spot. But it’s a metal tray rather than a chair which just doesn’t seem as impactful lol. Looks cool at least .

STICKS~! No not the the band. The weapons.

Martial Arts kick to the chair that smacks into Saturn’s face and this is done.  this was fun. GOD I FUCKING MISS THE HARDCORE TITLE DAMMIT.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

William Regal Vs Crash Holly – WWF European Championship Match

Great promo from Regal backstage before the match. He both manages to get over as a babyface AND rip apart England… and STILL get cheered afterwards .

MOLLY HOLLY’S TITS.

 Regal continues his promo in the ring before the match starts too. Awesome.

 at the “CHYNA I’M PREGNANT” sign.

DAMN at those stiff elbow shots in the corner. Regal is definitely upping his game a little being in England. Everything he did looked nasty. While normally in the US he wasn’t quite as vicious for the first few months in the company.

Regal gets a 3 count but Crash’s foot was on the ropes. Ref talks to someone and MOLLY hits a dropkick. Crash pins Regal and wins the European title. MOLLY BEAT REGAL.

 Regal fucking DECKS MOLLY and starts kicking her in the head .

Rating: **1/4
CAL SCALE – 1

Angle is backstage with Benoit, asking him for his support in the 4 way title match tonight. Benoit got bigger fish to fry tonight, Kurt.

Chyna & Billy Gunn Vs Eddie Guerrero & Dean Malenko

 Eddie is awesome. That is all .

CHYNA PRESSING EDDIE OVERHEAD.

Teddy Long refereeing. Duh. Tag match.

Tazz keeps calling Chyna’s man tits “biscuits”. Shut up, Tazz.

Stuff happens in this match, but honestly I was too busy cringing at Tazz’s HORRIBLE commentary. He was fine up until this point. Then for some reason Chyna confused him and he went to hell.

Match is what it is. And what it is I don’t know.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Kane Vs Chris Jericho

Match is announced as a “one fall to a finish” match. Well duh. Unless it’s a fucking 2/3 falls or Iron Man match then yeah, of course that’s what it fucking is.

 this match is more like their SS match and less like their LMS match. FIGHT. There’s a little sequence with Jericho charging at Kane only to be punched in the face, followed by Jericho getting back up and doing the same thing again… well on about the 4th punch, Jericho doesn’t so much bump off the punch as just run into Kane’s fist and collapse . Think he might have taken a real shot to the face there .

Y2GAY sign. Ha.

I started to become a Jericho fan around this time, because my parents bought me a Jericho t-shirt and I didn’t wanna tell them I hated him . So as I pretended to like him any time he came on screen, I started paying more attention to him and started actually liking him for the most part lol. Imagine if they’d bought me a ROCK t-shirt? I’d have told them to take it fucking back .

CHOKESLAM. This one is over. Jericho attacks Kane after the match. Good stuff, but essentially just a short version of their SS match.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

LITA FAP FAP FAP AND TRISH FAP FAP FAP BACKSTAGE FIGHT ALL SEXY AND HALF NAKED AND FAP FAP FAP IVORY HALF NAKED TOO FAP FAP FAP.

The Goodfather & Bull Buchanan Vs The Hardy Boys – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

No LITA at ringside after her backstage brawl .

Jeff starts showing up Bull by doing all his flippy shit and taking him down and stuff. Then he celebrates too near the RTC corner and Goodfather fucking KILLS HIM with a super clothesline .

Not to be outdone by his brother, Matt tries to commit suicide or something by lobbing himself face first into the ring post. Good stuff .

Basic tag match, nothing worth going out of your way to see. Val helps his RTC buddies and that’s that.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt is talking with E&C, trying to get their moral support for the match later. Christian is too hurt from going through the table.

Undertaker on his way to the ring, but Benoit distracts him and the Radicals attack the American Bad Ass! They destroy his knee.

Chris Benoit Vs The Undertaker

They tease Undertaker not being able to make it out, but he comes limp(Bizkit)ing his way down to the ring anyway!

So Undertaker has the knee problem going into the match, and Benoit obviously goes after it. However not enough damage was done and Undertaker can still dictate a lot of the pace in the match.  at Benoit trying to wrap Undertaker’s leg around the ring post, only for ‘Taker to smash his head into the post. Benoit’s bump and subsequent fall looks hilariously awesome with the steel steps preventing you from seeing where he lands. Might make a GIF for it if I can be arsed. We’ll see.

Yeah, I made the gif .

Undertaker keeps going to his power to control the match, but any time he thinks his knee is ok again, Benoit spots an opening and just tears at it some more.

We get a somewhat lengthy (given the entire length of the match anyway) control segment with Benoit doing a pretty good job of destroying Undertaker’s leg. HEADBUTT TO THE KNEE. GOAT. Then Undertaker hits a small package and gets the quick 3!!! THE UNDERTAKER HAD TO USE A SMALL PACKAGE. Similar match to the FL Angle match, except Undertaker was able to destroy Kurt at the end. Here he had to resort to a fucking roll up. BENOIT GETS PUT OVER AGAIN!

Good match, but damn, this needed to happen on a big stage a few years later. Hell even in 02 it could have been magnificent. But 05 onwards? Hell motherfucking yeah. Would have been epic.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Kurt Angle Vs Rikishi Vs The Rock Vs Steve Austin – WWF Championship Match

Rock and Austin take turns at fighting Angle in the ring and fighting Rikishi on the outside. Then they double team Rikishi. Angle in the mean time fucks off with the WWF title. Rock goes after him which makes no sense. LET HIM LEAVE. More chance of winning a triple threat than a 4 way ya dumb fuck. God I hate The Rock!

LOL at Rikishi fucking up a “whip opponents into each other out of the corner” spot when he decides to fall out of the ring instead of into the corner. Poor Rock is mid-whipping Angle on the other side and has to quickly switch it up and lob Angle outside.

AUSTIN AND ROCK STAREDOWN. STUNNER TO THE ROCK. EVERYONE TRIES TO COVER THE ROCK. NOBODY LIKES THE ROCK. LOL.

Austin is just killing it in this match. Absolute fucking WORKHORSE. He never slows down, starting with running to the ring to start this thing off, right up until the end. He’s always in the action and always doing something great. ROCK BOTTOM TO AUSTIN. BOOOOO.

ANGLE SLAM TO ROCK. YEY!

Edge & Christian show up to show moral support for Angle anyway. AWWWW THEY DO LOVE KURT AFTERALL!

The Radicals show up next to give Angle more moral support because, well, E&C just weren’t enough lol. Rock and Austin are busy with all the interference, allowing Angle to hit the Angle Slam on Rikishi and retain his title!

This was fun. Nonstop action with very little of the “2 in 2 out” formula. A lot of the time all 4 guys, or at least 3 of them were in the ring at the same time trying to kill each other.

Angle retains the title but Austin and Rock hit finishers on the Radicals to let the fans go home happy.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Overall CAL SCALE – 9