No Way Out 2002 Ramblings

Posted on: April 6th, 2014 by Big Cal

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No Way Out 2002

 

Show kicks off with the debut of the NWO in WWE! The NWO at NWO. They claim they are friendly.

 

Scotty 2 Hotty & Albert Vs Christian & Lance Storm Vs The Hardy Boys Vs The Dudley Boys Vs Billy & Chuck Vs The APA – Tag Team Turmoil

We go from the NWO to THE WORM AND THE HIP HOP HIPPO. Apparently the winning team gets a tag title shot at WM. I seem to recall a 4 way tag match at WM though :lmao.

GIANT SWING~! But Cesaro isn’t in this match :eek:.

SPLAT. That’s the noise made when Storm took a bump over the ropes. Ouch.

How on earth did Scotty last as long as he did in WWE lol? I mean, he survived talent cuts when Vince bought WCW and brought in some of those guys, he was out injured for a year and actually managed to come back… and he even held the tag titles in 04 going into WRESTLEMANIA 20 and retained them too!

Ah well, he and Albert are gone first, and next out is the Hardy Boys. AND FAP FAP LITA FAP FAP!!!

Standard stuff and then Christian and Storm are gone. Yawn.

STACY FAP FAP KEIBLER! Oh and that tag team she manages.

These 2 teams have been feuding since 2000. And JR continues to confuse Matt and Jeff, just like 2000!

RUSSIAN LEG SWEEP COMBINED WITH A SIDE EFFECT :mark:.

STACY AND LITA FAP FAP FAP FAP.

LITACANRANA~!

Matt escapes D-Von’s finisher and rolls him up for the win. This part of the match was super fun. Both teams have amazing chemistry still and they get decent time given the kind of match.

Afterwards Matt gets attacked in the ring, and then Jeff gets a 3-D on the floor! Billy & Chuck are next in and they essentially have a handicap match against Matt!

SUPERKICK by Chuck is so devastating it knocks HIM down too! Fameasser and Matt is done.

APA :mark:. It all comes down to this!

If Billy & Chuck didn’t get stuck with the homo tag gimmick, they could have been a really good team. Well they WERE still a good team but didn’t have longevity with the gimmick nor were they taken too seriously. You have the veteran Billy, multi time tag champ and all that shit, then you have Chuck who is young with RAW POWER, a ton of potential, and takes direction well from Billy. A good combination allowing them to take on ANY team.

They do well controlling the APA, but in the end the APA are just too much with their power and insane love for FIGHTING. HOLY FUCKITY FUCK at the Clothesline from Hell to end the match! APA win! WM tag title shot!!!

Fun match. Doesn’t hold a candle to the great 01 TTT at JD, but this is still good.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

FLAIR~! UNDERTAKER~! TEASING WM MATCH~!

 

Goldust Vs Rob Van Dam

:mark: GOLDUST.

So this is the match that made me a Goldust fan as far as RING WORK goes. I’d only seen bits of his AE run and the matches I did see weren’t very good (Vs HHH, mostly). It was only after he returned at the RR a month earlier and then had THIS kind of match with RVD that I became a fan. Just hope the match holds up now!!!

Goldust wastes NO TIME going after RVD, clotheslining him over the ropes the moment he steps into the ring! Well, takes him 2 attempts because RVD isn’t able to go over the first time apparently :lmao.

The KICKS of RVD put him back on the offensive after being thrown over the ropes, so Goldust has to use those MIND GAMES to get back on top. He rolls out of the ring, then starts to leave, while RVD doesn’t know what’s going on. PLUS is stops the momentum that RVD was starting to build.

:lmao at Lawler talking about American Pie and how “One time, at Bandcap, I stuck a flute in my pussy” is his favourite movie line :lmao.

:lmao at JR sounding disgusted by the question of whether or not he’s seen American Pie :lmao.

Goldust’s MIND GAMES didn’t work out as well as he’s have hoped… so Goldust takes a page out of Van Dam’s book and flies off the ropes to the floor with a BIONIC ELBOW!

ASS BUMP TO THE FACE. RVD takes a good ass in the face! :p

Holy fook, Goldust bending RVD’s back over the ring post is BRUTAL :mark:.

Good back work from Goldy, though :lmao at him groaning while applying a hold, with RVD shaking around. Looks like he’s humping him :lmao.

Comeback from RVD is stellar just because of how awesome Goldust takes all his offence and how he bumps from it all.

5 STAR FROG SPLASH~! MISS~! DDT FROM FUCKING HELL!!! RVD takes a good ass in the face and is great at falling head first into the mat too! :lmao

CURTAIN CALL~! COUNTERED~!

Fun little finishing stretch between the two, then RVD wins with the Frog Splash with makes me sad.

But what doesn’t make me sad is that this match still rules :mark:. ALL HAIL GOLDUST!

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Test & Booker T Vs Tazz & Sipke Dudley – WWF Tag Team Titles Match

Nice fast start to this one, with Test trying to kill Tazz. I find it pretty :lmao that Tazz is crawling to the ropes and the guy he gets to tag to save him is SPIKE DUDLEY. Might as well have a bloody handicap match :p.

Spike gets killed for a few minutes. Booker T sucks. Nothing new here lol.

Match ends a while later. Tazz and Spike win. This was crappy tbh. Tazz looked sloppy as fuck. Booker sucked. Test was the best guy in it. Spike took a decent beating but nothing special or worth mentioning from him.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Rock cuts a promo. GENERIC ROCK RAMBLINGS~!

 

Edge Vs William Regal – Brass Knucks on a Poll WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

:mark:. Their Vengeance match is amazing. Their RR match is amazing. I do remember this being the weakest of the 3… but still fucking great.

VICIOUS EDGE is nice to see again. I seem to recall a great deal if not all of his 02 after the Regal series as being more of ATHLETE EDGE with counters and reversals and finishing stretches rather than trying to fucking maul his opponent.

He’s pissed off because Regal caused some INTERNAL BLEEDING a few weeks back. So he’s taking the FIGHT to Regal to try and end this quickly, but Regal gets some shots in and then begins to work the mid section over which will further exasperate the injuries :mark:.

:mark: Edge takes one hell of a bump off the top rope onto the barricade. DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB ON THE FLOOR :mark:. EDGE IS BLEEDING INTERNALLY :mark:.

REGAL STRETCH~! DOUBLE UNDERHOOK POWERBOMB~! Regal can’t get the win via submission or pinfall with those moves… so he finally decides to climb the poll, only to end up crotch first on the ropes!

Regal goes for a powerbomb ON THE APRON, and Edge gets a sort of hurricanrana counter when he holds onto the ropes and just rolls his legs forward and flips Regal over onto the floor! LOOKED NASTY.

ELBOWS TO THE STOMACH :mark:. ELBOWS TO THE FACE :mark:. REGAL GRABS THE KNUCKS!!! But Edge gives him a back superplex before he can use them!

Both men are down and the knucks are in the middle of the ring for anyone to grab! Regal kicks them outside away from Edge, then ends up getting SPEARED!!!

With Regal down, Edge goes outside for the knucks, but Regal decks him when he gets back in and gets the 3 count! Regal had a pair in his penis!!!

:mark: Not as lengthy as I would have liked, but they gets lots of great stuff in, work the gimmick nicely and Regal attacking the injured Edge is :mark:. Good stuff no doubt, but still definitely the weaker of their PPV trilogy.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

KURT ANGLE IS GONNA BE HHH’S DADDY.

 

The Undertaker Vs The Rock

:mark: UNDERTAKER :mark:.

2002 Heel Undertaker = :mark:.

Undertaker TOMBSTONING ROCK ONTO A CAR = :mark:.

Rock runs down to the ring to take it straight to the Dead Man, and does well for about 20 seconds until he runs face first into the boot of the GOAT.

:mark: Undertaker driving his forearm into the back of Rock’s head and crushing it into the mat looks SICK. This is what happens when you DISRESPECT THE DEAD MAN.

Undertaker is working the HEAD of Rock, smart stuff since he Tombstoned him on the car just a few days ago I believe it was. Plus it means plenty of strikes to Rock’s head :mark:. CAVE HIS FUCKING SKULL IN :mark:.

Undertaker: “YOU WANNA GET UP?” *Kicks Rock in the head* “YOU WANNA GET UP?” :mark:.

Rock starts to get on a roll, and he begins to focus on UNDERTAKER’S head now as revenge. Undertaker selling shots to his head is :mark:.

:mark: Undertaker crotches Rock on the barricade then just sits on the ring steps and looks on at him disgusted :lmao. UNDERTAKER IS AMAZING. Then he sets Rock up for a HUGE right hand, looks around at the “people” and then cracks him in the face and sends him over the barricade to the concrete floor.

:lmao at the little spot with the doors. Fairly certain Undertaker was just fucking with the camera man :lmao.

Have I mentioned that UNDERTAKER FUCKING RULES? Because he does, ya know.

Well, it has happened. Someone made the BEARHUG rule. Guess who? UNDERTAKER YOU DUMB FUCKS.

Rock makes his comeback, and even hits a LOW BLOW right in front of the referee… who does fuck all.

JR: “UNDERTAKER JUST GOT HIT IN DEATH VALLEY” :lmao.

CHOKESLAM~! 2 count only :(. So Undertaker goes to “sit” on his bike, looking all suspicious. The ref comes out to see what he’s up to and ends up flying into the steel steps :lmao.

LED PIPE! Flair comes down to stop him and gets DECKED in the face! Rock recovers enough to counter and locks in the Sharpshooter type move he does!

VINCE MCMAHON~! He distracts the referee and The Rock, but then Flair cracks ‘Taker in the head with the pipe! Rock Bottom! Rock… wins? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :(

Aside from this finish, this rocks!!! Undertaker is just fucking incredible ever second of the match. Rock holds his own too btw. And his Sharpshooter actually looks the best it’s ever looked as well!

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Triple H Vs Kurt Angle – Special Guest Referee Stephanie McMahon – WrestleMania Title Match on the Line

FAP FAP FAP FAP STEPHANIE FAP FAP FAP FAP. She looks AMAZING in some super short shorts and a referee top with her tits hanging out.

Match starts and Angle keeps trying to roll up HHH with Stephanie going down quick (hahahahahFAP) to make the count.

:lmao the crowd are chanting “take your shirt off” to Stephanie. PERVERTS.

Shitty brawling. Shitty brawling. Kurt accidentally knocks Stephanie over the ropes and she died or something. HHH waves her off with his crotch in Angle’s face. LOL. Normal referee now. Boooo. Tim White isn’t nearly as FAPABLE as Stephanie.

Shitty brawling. SUPLEXES~! MORE SUPLEXES~! A COUPLE OF EXTRA SUPLEXES JUST FOR GOOD LUCK~!

YEY SLEEPER HOLD!!! Ah well, a rest spot at least cuts down on the shitty brawling and SUPLEXES for a minute or so :p.

STEPHANIE FAP FAP IS BACK :D. Aaaand gets knocked out again straight away. Booooo.

Ref bump. Ref bump. Ref bump. Ref bump. Shenanigans. Suplexes. Shitty brawling. Steel chair. Screwjob. Angle wins. And that is the entire match summed up. Also, shit.

HHH cums out of his mouth at the end of something.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Rock mocks the NWO. I hope they run into him with a big truck or something.

 

Chris Jericho Vs Steve Austin – WWF Undisputed Championship Match

First 5 minutes or so see Austin in control mostly. Plenty of punches and chops lol. Jericho keeps getting some shots in but Austin cuts him off all the time.

BRAWLING UP BY THE STAGE~! Austin seems to be treating this more like a 99/99 AE match lol. Which sucks.

Austin trying to superplex Jericho from every corner is :mark:. Wish more people would try that these days lol. Would probably work well for Daniel Bryan.

Poor Jericho. His entire title run was booked with him as the underdog champion. Which isn’t good for a heel :lmao. This reminds me a little of Undertaker/HHH from Insurrextion with Austin never giving Jericho THAT much heat, but at least he does give him SOME. HHH fucked Undertaker far too much in their match. So Undertaker beat him 2 years in a row at WM 8*D.

LOL Austin totally rules this match. Not in the awesome way, I mean that he dominates everything and survives EVERYTHING Jericho throws at him including the Walls, Lionsault and a BREAKDOWN ON THE BELT.

STUNNER~! Ref is out though (how many ref bumps in the last 3 matches lol?), so the NWO show up and maul Austin. Jericho picks up the win.

I used to like this :(. Now I don’t. Boooo.

Rating: *1/2
CAL SCALE – 0.5

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 12.5

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