Armageddon 2003 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: August 10th, 2014 by Big Cal

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Armageddon 2003

 

Armageddon is here… but will I survive it?

 

Mark Henry Vs Booker T

Ooooo, starting the show off with MARK HENRY? Show might have something worthwhile after all!

His opponent is Booker T? Well this might not be that good…

Love how this SINGLES match is a follow up from a STREET FIGHT :p.

Booker T has been mauled and destroyed in recent weeks so I like him going right after Henry and just blasting him in the face and clubbing the shit out of his back.

HENRY STRENTH~! Puts a stop to any Booker T offence. Which is awesome. Because fuck Booker T offence :).

Hmmmm, Booker actually looks GOOD in this early on. He’s using a mix of his superior speed and VETERAN INSTINCTS to try and keep Henry at bay and ground him, hopefully taking the STRENGTH out of the equation.

TEDDY DISTRACTION~!

:mark: now we get to see Henry dominate Booker. Awesome backbreaker, followed up with a modified Bow and Arrow submission which looks NASTY and is one of the less dull holds that Henry could have used (thankfully. Last thing we need is a damn NERVE GRIP lol).

Ahhh fuck, SLEEPER HOLD. Come on Mark, you better than this homie. Yeah a sleeper from HENRY looks more brutal than a small guy, but it’s still just someone sat in a hold taking up time. Yey it doesn’t last long!

Motherfucker, bear hug. STOP IT NOW, MARK.

Again thankfully the hold isn’t applied for long. I guess I’d rather have 3 submission holds for very short periods with Booker making a comeback only to be cut off over one stupidly long hold.

THAT FUCKING CLOTHESLINE :mark:. Booker T is DEAD.

Booker T starts to come back, landing some huge kicks but can’t budge the World’s Strongest Man.

AXE KICK~!

HENRY KICKS OUT!!! :mark:

SPINEBUSTER BY HENRY. Surprised the ring held up on that one tbh lol.

Henry is back to just mauling Booker :mark:. But Booker refuses to stay down!

POWERBOMB… SORT OF! Looked like Henry got Booker up but Booker slipped off and just landed as if he’d been powerbombed lol. Luckily it wasn’t botched to all hell with him landing on his neck.

AXE KICK #2~!

Henry is defeated. Good match! I kinda wanna check out their street fight now.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

FOLEY~! He’s got 1 million signatures for the “give Austin his job back” petition or something. Brings out FAP FAP STACY in a cheerleader outfit to celebrate. FOLEY IS GOD.

 

Orton and Flair interrupt. Booooo. More Stacy’s ass, less Randy Orton and Flair please. Blah Blah Blah Orton saying stuff. Foley is the referee for the Orton/RVD match? Don’t remember that at all lol. Foley decides the match is happening now.

 

RVD Vs Randy Orton – Intercontinental Championship Match – Special Referee Mick Foley

Lol, RVD does his “R. V. D.” pose, Orton tries to kick him, gets caught and RVD sweeps his legs and punches him in the face a few times :p.

:lmao I’ve never liked RVD as much as I do right now. First 5 minutes of this match see RVD absolutely destroy Orton :D. KICKS~! FLIPS~! MOAR KICKS~!

Then I end up liking Orton for shoving RVD off the ropes face first into the barricade :).

It’s just fun watching both of these man take a beating :p.

:mark: that fucking DROPKICK on the outside. Rare I mark for a sodding DROPKICK lol, but that was done to perfection!!!

:lmao RVD getting choked on the ropes is the FUNNIEST THING EVER. He’s spazzing out, making fast noises and making Cena look like a good actor :lmao.

FLAIR AND FOLEY STAND OFF :mark:.

Orton is wrestling this match nice and smartly, targeting the HEAD of RVD which is injured or something from a top rope RKO the week before maybe? I forget.

FUCKING CLOTHESLINES~! Orton is bringing out plenty of sick looking clotheslines and RVD is bumping awesomely for all of them.

Plenty of varied offence from the LEGEND KILLER in this one as he continues to go after the head, but at the same time he does keep going back to that DAMN HEADLOCK.

Good comeback from RVD, his offence looks decent against Orton, though that might be because 90% of the kicks to the face look like they legitimately connect :lmao.

DDT FROM THE ROPES~!

RVD kicks out but he is FUCKED from the DDT still. Good selling of his head.

FLAIR tries to nail RVD with brass knucks, but Foley intercepts! RVD is distracted enough though for Orton to dropkick him off the ropes!

RKO~!

NEW IC CHAMP~!

Great match. Could have done with less of the headlock, but everything else was damn good. RVD selling his head actually shocked me, he’s one of those guys to fucking ignore limb work and shit as he goes into the finishing stretch.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Chris Jericho & Christian Vs Trish Stratus & Lita

Jericho and Christian make a bet over 1 Canadian dollar that they can nail either Trish or Lita first. Trish is falling for Jericho but finds out about the bet. Match is made :lmao.

Jericho though is having regrets because he realises he does actually have feelings for Trish.

TRISH & LITA FAP FAP TAG TEAM.

Trish slaps the shit out of Jericho, so Jericho grabs her and… SPANKS HER :lmao. I’m sure that’ll help…

Jericho is trying to prevent Trish from hurting him while not actually doing anything to her, so CHRISTIAN tags himself and and shoves Trish half way across the ring and dares LITA to get in the match :lmao.

HEADBUTT TO CHRISTIAN :lmao.

:lmao LITA is dominating Christian. And not in the way he wants :p.

Jericho nails LITA from behind… but not in the way he wants :p. Seems Jericho has no problem beating up LITA. Bastard. YOU LEAVE HER ALONE!!!

CHRISTIAN STRIPPING LITA~!

What a CREEPY LITTLE BASTARD. Though I don’t blame him :side:.

HOT TAG TO TRISH~! Which goes nowhere because, you know, women Vs man :p.

FUCK ME at that Clothesline to Trish. Christian damn near killed her.

LITACANRANA~!

Jericho smashes her against a wall. But not in the way he wants to :p.

ROLL UP TO TRISH BY CHRISTIAN~! This is done lol.

What a crazy match, but you know what? IT’S ACTUALLY FUCKING GOOD. I swear to god.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Batista

Orton had an AWFUL match with Shawn at Unforgiven. If Batista has a better match I’ll :lmao.

Shawn sticking and moving early on, jabbing away at Batista and avoiding the POWER of the jacked up newbie.

Batista is PISSED. I guess I understand, can’t imagine being jabbed in the face is much fun :p.

Shawn keeps chipping away at Batista, which makes the beast ANGRY and prone to make mistakes, so FLAIR has to calm him down on the outside. The whole Evolution thing was such an awesome idea. HHH as the “main eventer” doing what he does, then 2 rookies with FLAIR always in their corner to give them advice and wisdom well beyond their years. A perfect dynamic.

:lmao this is looking INFINATELY better than the Orton/HBK match. HBK looks like the veteran, meanwhile Batista uses his POWER to overcome his inexperience and Flair on the outside is always there to throw him some advice. Match has a structure and a story, unlike the Orton match that was a pure MESS.

BACK WORK~!

Everything Batista does is BASIC AS SHIT… but it all looks damn good, and HBK sells everything like he’s in the worst pain ever. Shame HBK has to kip up TWICE despite the back work lol.

CHOKE COUNTERED INTO A DDT~! Nice callback to the build up of this match, where Batista picked up HBK with a double handed choke and caused INTERNAL BLEEDING. HBK knew it was coming this time and countered.

ELBOW DROP~!

HBK is tuning up the band!!!

SUPERKICK COUNTERED INTO A SPINEBUSTER~!

ANOTHER SPINEBUSTER~! Shawn’s back is fucked!!!

Batista shows his greenness here though, taking his time between moves and slowly picking up HBK for a Powerbomb, giving old HBK time to counter into a superkick!!! HBK wins!!!

Yeah this was GOOD!!! This entire event so far is shocking the absolute FUCK out of me. Blows the Orton/HBK match out of the water.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Maven Vs Matt Hardy

:lmao I think this might be the beginning of the end for this PPV.

Batista is still in the ring pissed off that he lost, so Matt and Maven start their match on the ramp :lmao.

Matt throws Maven into the ring and Batista takes his frustration out on the Tough Enough winner :D. And I think that’s the end of this :lmao.

Rating: DUD
CAL SCALE – 0

 

La Resistance Vs The Hurricane & Rosey Vs Lance Cade & Mark Jindrak Vs Val Venis & Lance Storm Vs The Dudley Boys Vs Scott Steiner & Test Vs Batista & Ric Flair – World Tag Team Championship Tag Team Turmoil Match

ROSEY IS THE SHIT! Literally :lmao. SUPER HERO IN TRAINING~!

:lmao poor Hurricane…

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Holy fuck at Rosey just dumping (get it, SHIT, dumping… LOL) one of the Frenchies to the floor. Hurricane and Rosey eliminate La Resistance, then get jumped from behind by Jindrak and Cade and rolled up for the win in seconds!

STORM AND VENIS. What an odd pairing…

Storm is in the middle… beginning… I don’t know exactly… of his “trying not to be boring” run. So he does a couple of “flashy” moves and poses for the fans, then gets decked in the face :lmao.

Fun little match between these two teams, with Cade & Jindrak cheating to victory.

THE DUDLEY BOYS~! The tag champs are here!

:lmao Bubba goes to clothesline Cade, and he really leans forward with it to get more POWER into the move, but Cade moves and Bubba just falls into the roles like a retard :lmao.

Sweet LARIAT from Jindrak.

Bubba CRASHES into the steel steps, sending the top half right into the fucking camera man I think :lmao.

3-D~! Bubba and D-Von are confused as to who the legal man is and both cover :lmao.

:lmao I forgot Steiner and Test ended up teaming after battling all year over who gets to fuck Stacy. Guess they decided on each other? :p

Weakest. Elbow drop. Ever.

Fuck me this is DULL. Val/Storm Vs Cade/Jindrak was the best part of all this. Should have given them 15 minutes to do their shit.

Dudley’s retain their belts until…

I’M BACK, AND BETTER THAN EVER!!! Bischoff adds Batista & Flair to the match!!!

BATISTA BOMB~! New tag team champions!!!

Overall the match sucks. Like I said, Val/Storm Vs Cade/Jindrak was the best part of all this.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Molly Holly Vs Ivory – WWE Women’s Championship Match

Wow, my first NO for the event! I’m still shocked how good this show has been overall so far despite the last match and now me skipping this.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Goldberg Vs Kane Vs Triple H – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Oh boy. I don’t see this being that good… :p.

HHH and Kane start things off teaming up against Goldberg. I’m shocked. A triple threat with 2 heels and they team up against the babyface? THIS IS REVOLUTIONARY~!

Not even 2 men are enough to take out Goldberg though, as he quickly fights them both off.

Kane and Goldberg then decide to punch each other in the face, while HHH hangs around the outside of the ring like a coward :p.

:lmao HHH sucks at taking a military press. Every time I’ve seen Goldberg try it on HHH in all their matches so far, HHH seems to struggle, which causes Goldberg to not be able to fully execute the lift. HHH BURRYING GOLDBERG~!

OH MY GOD HHH WENT FOR A COVER AFTER KANE SLAMMED GOLDBERG AND IT LOOKS LIKE KANE IS GONNA ATTACK HHH THIS IS INCREDIBLE I’VE NEVER SEEN THIS DONE BEFORE WHAT A REFRESHING TRIPLE THREAT FORMULA!!!

HHH DECKS KANE WITH A CHAIR~!

Kane comes back in and actually stops Goldberg from shattering HHH’s ankle because… apparently hitting Kane in the fact with a steel chair is the best way to make friends with him?

HHH returns the favour, saving Kane from going through the table.

CHOKESLAM TO GOLDBERG THROUGH THE TABLE~!

No wait, the table didn’t break :lmao. So HHH tells Kane to put Goldberg back on the table and elbow drops him aka HHH’s go to move for when a table doesn’t break :p.

And now HHH and Kane officially turn on each other…

Kane channels HOMER SIMPSON as he punches HHH… “DUFF, DUFF DUFF, DOH!” :lmao.

CHOKESLAM ON THE STEEL RAMPWAY~!

SPEAR~! Goldberg is back and he just SPEARED Kane to hell!

All 3 men fight for a while and then SPEAR TO KANE AGAIN~!

SPEAR TO HHH~!

Evolution show up because it’s no DQ. ANOTHER SPEAR TO HHH lol.

CHOKESLAM TO GOLDBERG~! Batista drags Kane out of the ring while HHH makes the cover and becomes the new WHC. EVOLUTION WITH ALL THE GOLD.

This match isn’t awful or anything… it’s just kinda there for me. Nothing really stands out whatsoever. Still better than I was expecting, like the rest of the event lol.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 10

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