Bad Blood 2004
Jebus, save me from the boredom of the upcoming HIAC match.
La Resistance Vs Edge & Chris Benoit – World Tag Team Championship Match
Wait… didn’t I already watch this? Oh, that was Taboo Tuesday. Why is Benoit going for the tag titles?
I… can’t sit through this again.
CAL SCALE – -1
Chris Jericho Vs Tyson Tomko
Wow, big match here. So big I’m not worthy of watching it.
WOW. Trish is wearing one hell of an outfit. FAP.
CAL SCALE – -1
Orton cuts a promo backstage, hears the fans booing him, so he wanders out into the ring to bitch at them . Good stuff. Then Shelton (his opponent for later tonight) shows up and ruins it by trying to cut a promo himself. They end up having their IC title match NOW.
Randy Orton Vs Shelton Benjamin – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
So Orton is thrown off his game by having this match start early, allowing Benjamin to dictate the early going of the match, while the fans are BEHIND ORTON. LOL. Nice to see those wins over HHH helped Shelton .
HUGE MOTHERFUCKING POP FOR THE NATURE BOY~! Flair seemingly just decides to come down to ringside because… WOOOOOO! Orton is in control by this point too btw, so he ain’t there to help.
WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT? I *think* Orton hit a European Uppercut… but Shelton apparently thought it was something else because it looked like he took a different move entirely .
ORTON WITH A BATISTA BOMB INTO A NECKBREAKER… WITHOUT BATISTA~! Always liked that move. Does he still do it? I don’t pay much attention to his matches these days and I don’t recall him doing it in the few I have seen recently .
Shelton’s comeback is pretty cool, he does an awesome EXPLODER SHOULDER TACKLE.
STINGER SPLASH~! T-BONE~! FLAIR PUTS ORTON’S FOOT ON THE ROPES~!
STINGER SPLASH TO FLAIR~! Ha, totally thought Shelton was gonna do a Sharpshooter aka Scorpion Death Lock too, but he did a Figure Four instead. No BLACK STING tonight . Wait… BLACK SCORPION? MIND. BLOWN.
CROSS BODY~! ORTON ROLLS THROUGH~! 3 COUNT~!
This was all good except for Orton boring the shit out of everyone with that fucking headlock.
CAL SCALE – 2
Trish Stratus Vs Lita Vs Gail Kim Vs Victoria – WWE Women’s Championship Match
TRISH still in that FAP FAP outift.
LITA LOOKING ALL FAP.
Cannot be arsed with the match though .
CAL SCALE – -1
The Coach Vs Eugene
CAL SCALE – -1
Chris Benoit Vs Kane – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Thank FUCK for this. Knowing what’s still to come in the main event, and the crap I’ve made sure to avoid so far, I’m looking forward to watching something GOOD.
How many people is Kane feuding with at this time btw? Matt Hardy was thrown out of the building earlier to make sure he didn’t interfere in this match. The build up for Eugene/Coach was mainly based around Coach getting Kane to attack Eugene. And of course there is this match too lol. KANE IS A FEUD SLUT~!
Kane attacked Benoit in the tag title match earlier, costing Benoit the possibility of being a double champion, and hurting him going into this match. So Benoit wants to FUCK KANE UP.
Love the story going into this match, revolving around the fact that most of Benoit’s offence WON’T WORK on Kane. We see it early on with Benoit trying to grab the arm and take Kane down, but Kane launches the champ across the ring instead.
“GET UP FLY BOY!” Benoit is FLY!!!
Benoit tries for a German, and Kane screams “NOOOO!!” then elbows Benoit in the face .
Sharpshooter attempt, but Kane powers out of it, then powers out of an attempted Crossface too! They are really working the story perfectly .
*sigh* for all the good stuff this match has, as usual it gets tainted a little by a damn REST HOLD. Hell even the commentators are so bored Lawler starts asking JR how Benoit lost his tooth. JR doesn’t know. I do . His dog headbutted him.
Once they get out of the rest spot crap, we can get back to stuff. In fact the FIRST THING Benoit does after escaping the hold is try to single leg takedown Kane, but Kane blocks it and knocks Benoit down, keeping in with the story of the match!
Going face first into the ring post gives the Crippler a chance to wear down the BIG RED MONSTER, with a bunch of shots to the knee of the big man! Attempted Sharpshooter once more, but Kane is STILL able to power out! MOAR leg work, including Kane getting caught up in the ropes, and Benoit FINALLY locks in the submission!!! Nice pay off to something they’ve been building all match, but remember, this ISN’T Benoit’s main submission finisher.
GERMANS~! Another example of how Benoit has finally worn down Kane enough to start hitting his offence, the same offence that Kane said Benoit couldn’t use on him!!!
But Kane is still pretty damn UNSTOPPABLE. Even after the triple German suplexes, he sits up before Benoit can climb the ropes for a headbutt! ANOTHER 3 GERMAN’S~! HEADBUTT~! KANE IS DOWN! KANE IS DOWN!!!
NO!!! KANE SITS UP AGAIN!!!
Benoit cannot fucking believe it, so it’s time to bring out the BIG stuff. Crossface… no! Kane is still able to power out! CHOKESLAM~!
BENOIT KICKS OUT!!! HOLY FUCK .
Now it’s KANE’S turn to be shocked.
FLYING CLOTHESLINE… COUNTERED INTO A CROSSFACE~! Beautiful! Benoit was still unable to take Kane down and lock it in normally, so he used one of Kane’s own signature moves against him!
HOLY FUCKING SHIT~! KANE POWERS OUT OF IT AGAIN!!!
Benoit keeps hold of Kane, and rolls him up instead! 3 count!!! Benoit wins!!! Still the champ!!!
Dull rest hold aside, this rules . But you already knew that . I know I did. Might watch their Raw rematch to see which I prefer. Always remember it being just as good.
Kane’s best match? Well… I’m still partial to his WM 14 match with Taker, but this is right up there too.
CAL SCALE – 5
Triple H Vs Shawn Michaels – Hell in a Cell Match
HHH claims he’s never lost a HIAC match. I guess he just didn’t win the 6 man from 2000, right?
Oh god look at how long is left on this show. Who the FUCK watched their previous PPV matches from 02 to now and thought “Hey, I know, let’s give them FIFTY FUCKING MINUTES! IT’LL BE GREAT!”? Some retard that’s for sure.
With video package and entrances, this is an HOUR. An hour of TRIPLE H. Vs HBK. Well, I guess now I will finally know the answer to the question “which is worse? HBK/Bret Iron Man or HHH/HBK HIAC?”. Yey.
Urgh, very SLOW AND SLUGGISH brawling to start things off. Benoit/Kane match started with more HATE~! than this. I mean fuck, I swear these guys are in slow motion. In fact, that might explain why this match is so long! It’s ACTUALLY only 25 minutes long, but it’s running at half speed! Wow… even 25 minutes sounds awful though .
Yey methodical back work inside HIAC. Just what the fans wanted…
I’m about 15 minutes into this thing and bored shitless.
OMG WAIT PILEDRIVER ON THE STEEL STEPS .
FUCKING HELL. HHH COUNTERED IT. FUCK YOU HUNTER.
2 SHOTS TO THE HEAD WITH THE STEEL STEPS~! HBK IS FUCKED!
HHH makes the cover and… DAMMIT HBK KICKED OUT.
WHY WON’T THIS END?
Bunch of chair shorts while they both fall down and sleep in between them. BECAUSE THIS IS EPIC.
And now a ladder. Because it makes sense to waste time getting out a ladder which is awkward to use rather than just stick with the steel chair…
ELBOW DROP OFF THE LADDER THROUGH A TAble… bah I cant even pretend to be excited by this. I’m starting to go into a trance brought on by sheer boredom.
Shawn just kicked out of something. The fans went crazy so I assume it was something big. I have no idea. I’m WATCHING the screen but not really seeing it.
Rated R Souper Kick.
I think the match is finally over. Both guys aren’t moving so I assume one won and is now resting while the other is beaten and also resti… oh wait no. They just decided to nap in the middle of the ring.
Shawn eats some more Pedigree Chum. He doesn’t like it though and HHH wins.
I think I’m blind.
CAL SCALE – 0
Overall CAL SCALE – 4