Cyber Sunday 2008 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: October 18th, 2015 by Big Cal

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Cyber Sunday 2008

 

Big freakin’ deal.

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Kane – No Holds Barred

Wish this was a Burlap Sack on a Pole Match instead :side:.

Gotta love WWE and their choices. No Holds Barred, Falls Count Anywhere, or 2 out of 3 Falls. Basically 2 street fights and a normal match with more than 1 fall. Hmmm… match with weapons or match without weapons? I WONDER WHAT THE WWE UNIVERSE WILL CHOOSE!!!

Rey MISSED KANE on a dive. HE MISSED A 7 FOOT MONSTER :lmao.

:mark: AWESOME spot from Kane with a sliding dropkick right into Rey’s back who is wrapped around the ring post :mark:.

Why do wrestlers, usually BIG GUYS, run the ropes to do a dropkick… but STOP and then jump for the legdrop? WHAT’S THE POINT OF RUNNING FIRST?!!? :lmao

DID YOU KNOW? Kane is MUCH LARGER than Rey! Great insight brought to you by Jerry “atric” Lawler!!!

Gotta love how the fans get super fired up any time Rey gets some offense in, then Kane hits a clothesline or a big boot to put him back down and the crowd just DIE.

Rey using more of his SWASHBUCKLING style here!!!

REY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF KANE WITH A CHAIR~!

CHOKESLAM COUNTERED INTO A 619~!

THAT STUPID LOOKING SPLASH~!

REY PINS KANE~!

Fun match, but not as good as their No Mercy bout. Man, been so long since I started my PPV Rambles with that show lol.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

DIVA HALLOWEEN COSTUME CONTEST~! Fans vote for who they wanna fap over the most. Michelle McCool is dressed as a slutty army girl. Katie Lea is a vampire. Lena Yada (who?) is… someone from Mortal Kombat? Candice Michelle is Marilyn Monroe and does an awful singing impression.

 

Jericho backstage with Cody, Ted and MANU. Jericho tries to manipulate them to take out Batista like they did Punk at Unforgiven. They basically tell him to fuck off :p.

 

Teddy Long shows up with his assistant TIFFANY :mark:. I miss THE TIFF. Anyway, Long is here to announce the winner of the ECW title match vote!

 

Matt Hardy Vs Evan Bourne – ECW Championship Match

The choices were Bourne, Henry and Finlay. Wow, the fans really couldn’t go wrong here!

EVAN BOURNE CAME FROM VIRTUAL OBSCURITY~! I guess that was a dig at Indy promotions lol…

Total Evan Bourne show for the first half of this match. Guy looks incredible. He’s flying around doing cool shit while also taking Matt to the Mat (hahaha) and looking dominant there too. But then Matt’s experience comes into play and he counters a high risk move by dragging Bourne back first across the ropes in an awesome looking spot :mark:.

Hardy is working the back over of Bourne. Matt Striker tries to get the fans to feel his pain with the line “ANYONE WHO HAS COUGHED OR SNEEZED HARD CAN IMAGINE HIS PAIN TIMES 100” :lmao.

SPINNING HEEL KICK TO COUNTER AN AXE HANDLE SMASH~! :mark:

With that, Bourne is able to make a comeback and from here on out its back and forth as both men desperately want to win and be the ECW champion!!!

After an awesome finishing stretch between the two, a Twist of Fate puts an end to Bourne’s title dreams for now.

Super fun match.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

MOAR DIVAS~! Beth Phoenix is a GLADIATOR. I’m sure there is a pubes joke somewhere there. Jillian is BATWOMAN. MARIA IS A BUNNY. She hops :mark:. Kelly Kelly is a sailor. Yawn.

 

Cryme Tyme Vs The Miz & Morrison

So what could we choose between here?

Mickie James & Jamie Noble (how odd…) Vs Layla & Regal. Because…???

Cryme Tyme Vs Jiz & Morrison…

and Punk & Kofi Vs Cody and Teddy with the titles on the line.

:lmao can’t believe what won the vote. Skipping like a mofo.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

More divas in potentially hot outfits? Ok! THE TIFF as a sexy sister! I’d get on my knees for her ;). Brie Bella is a… Egyptian? Natalya is a cop with handcuffs. Dirty slut ;). Eve as a Ninja Turtle! I’m still a little confused about finding that hot :side: :p.

 

Jericho wants Khali in his corner tonight against Batista. Khali apparently says no. Takes him 2 minutes to say it, but he says NO and nothing else lol.

 

Santino Marella Vs Honky Tonk Man – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match

Didn’t care for Santino, but did love the HONK-A-METER lol. Santino is at 11 weeks, compared to the 64 weeks of HTM. He’s close :side:.

Piper (RIP :( ), Goldust and THE HONKY TONK MAN were the choices here. HTM wins over Piper by 1%!

I’VE GOT MY LONG SIDEBURNS AND MY HAIR SLICKED BACK I’M COMING TO YOUR TOWN IN MY PINK CADILLAC~!

As a “wrestler” I never cared for HTM. As an “entertainer”? AWESOME.

HTM dancing :mark:.

Santino dancing. Not marking out here.

CHEAP SHOT TO HONKY~!

Well this was a nothing match. Beth gets Santino DQ’d in about a minute. Not a dud cos HTM was awesome.

After the match ends, GOLDUST and PIPER come out to make sure Santino doesn’t leave the arena without an asskicking.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Yey divas time again! Maryse is a sexy french maid. She’s also dressed up as one here 8*D. Layla is Princess Lea… but not the gold bikini outfit :(. :lmao Victoria is PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME :lmao. MICKIE JAMES IS LARA CROFT AND IS AUTOMATICALLY THE WINNER.

 

The Undertaker Vs The Big Show – Last Man Standing Match

Other options were KNOCKOUT MATCH and I Quit. I’d have been ok with any tbh.

Watching this hours before SummerSlam 2015 that will feature THE UNDERTAKER VS BROCK LESNAR. This is likely gonna be the better match of the two :p. Not that I don’t think Taker and Lesnar can have a great match tonight, but Undertaker in 08 was head and shoulders above pretty much everyone else in the company at the time and his chemistry with Show was fantastic. In 2015 he’s definitely lost a step or two, and Lesnar’s new style doesn’t give them the same chemistry they had in 2002/2003.

Big Show is walking to the ring for a LAST MAN STANDING MATCH WITH THE UNDERTAKER… and he’s fucking SMILING. Now THAT is one cocky heel bastard!!!

When a match starts with Undertaker blasting people IN THE FACE with punches, I know I’m in for a good time :).

BIG BEEFIE BASTARDS BEATING THE BEJEBUS OUT OF EACH OTHER :mark:.

:mark: One of my fav spots ever. Undertaker puts the chair on Show’s throat and then rams him into the ring post :mark:. He did it quite a bit during his BIG EVIL heel days and it totally fucking rocked. He also took out BIG VIS in 04 during the JBL feud.

APRON LEG DROP~! Undertaker TARGETING THE THROAT~!

Love how Big Show started the match being able to get his hands up to protect himself against most of the punches from ‘Taker, but as this match goes on he struggles to keep his hands up, which is one of the more difficult things to do in boxing. Would have loved to have seen Big Show in a pro boxing match at some point lol.

The side of Big Show’s face were all the punches have been landing is RED. Ain’t nothing fake about this match :p.

BIG SHOW PUNCHES TAKER IN THE FACE WITH A TV MONITOR~!

SUPERKICK BY THE BIG SHOW~!

UNDERTAKER PUNCHES BIG SHOW WITH A STEEL CHAIR~!

CHOKESLAM THROUGH A TABLE~! THE UNDERTAKER IS DEAD~! FOR REALSIES~! NAH HE GETS UP BEFORE THE COUNT OF 10~!

Undertaker on his knees telling Big Show to bring it, while he continues to try and throw punches that have no effect on the GIANT :mark:.

Another huge Chokeslam to The Undertaker, and Big Show believes it’s over. He NEEDS it to be over. But Undertaker isn’t going to give up.

KNOCKOUT PUNCH~!

OMG THE UNDERTAKER SITS UP AT 7~! Big Show simply cannot believe it, and goes for a steel chair to finish the job once and for all.

CHAIRSHOT TO THE HEAD~!

Big Show picks Undertaker up for another Knockout Punch, but Undertaker counters and applies the HELLS GATE out of nowhere!!! Big Show taps out immediately but it means nothing here!!! BIG SHOW IS OUT!! THE REFEREE BEGINS THE COUNT!!!

The Big Show cannot answer the 10 count, and THE UNDERTAKER is the LAST MAN STANDING!!!

Good god what a match!!! Just fucking awesome. 2 guys beating the absolute shit out of each other until one man cannot go any more :mark:. THIS IS PRO WRESTLING.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

Jericho is demanding that Mike Adamle (GOAT GM) put an end to the special guest referee vote for tonight. Jericho gets a text (OMG IT’S KEVIN NASH) and walks off instead.

 

Tazz gives us the results of the DIVA COSTUME CONTEST. Mickie James wins because DUH.

 

Triple H Vs Jeff Hardy – WWE Championship Match

:lmao the other options for HHH’s opponent tonight were VLADIMIR KOZLOV, or a triple threat with VLADIMIR KOZLOV STILL INVOLVED :lmao. Why even bother with a fucking vote for this? Putin wouldn’t even vote for Kozlov…

Well, I’m happy this match was chosen. HHH and Jeff typically have excellent chemistry. A few blips here and there, but overall they’ve been having great matches together since 2001 (remember their IC title matches? GO WATCH NOW).

:lmao at Hardy. He hits a sweet armdrag on HHH and just screams “YEEEEAAAAAHHHH” afterwards. Crowd love it :p. I get a kick out of it too lol.

“Match starts with Jeff doing the whole “nobody thinks I can wrestle so I’ll do basic wrestling moves to prove them wrong and put my opponent off his game” schtick, but quickly goes back to his high risk offence and unfortunately he crashes and burns allowing HHH to take control. Not really sure what I think to the opening parts of the match tbh. Yeah, Jeff did the “unexpected” to try and take HHH off his game and shit, but then that leads to Jeff just doing his usual shit and it backfires on him. So uhhh… why even bother with the “wrestling” stuff before hand? Might as well have had Jeff go all out to begin with, rocking HHH with some quick, high impact moves before HHH finally avoids something because Jeff went to the well far too often. Transitions into HHH’s control segment the same way, but doesn’t waste the time at the start of the match lol.”

I wrote that about their No Mercy match, and well, copy and pasting it made sense because this match starts off THE EXACT SAME lol. In fact, structure-wise, this is pretty much the same match as their No Mercy match. After Hardy crashes and burns, HHH takes control. Hardy makes some little comebacks while HHH cuts him off, then slowly as the match progresses, Hardy’s high risk style becomes more and more of a GAME changer.

The main difference here is the finishing stretch for the match, with Hardy hitting a Swanton and instead of being caught in a pin, goes for a second one only to be kneed in the back. They end up on the outside, then get back in where Hardy goes for another Swanton but HHH turns it into a Pedigree for the win!

Honestly think I might like this more than their NM match. In fact, I definitely do!

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Chris Jericho Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Austin, Orton and HBK were options for the special guest referee. Austin wins because DUH.

Might i just say, that the pairing of Jericho and Batista, on paper, is DULL AS FUCK. URGH. Just fucking URGH.

Jericho does leg work.

Jericho applies a sleeper instead of a leg submission because he’s retarded apparently.

Austin does referee stuff.

Batista sells the leg.

Callum doesn’t care.

Austin gets taken out.

HBK runs down to take over.

HBK does the slowest count in history.

JBL shows up and takes out HBK because I don’t know why.

Callum still doesn’t care.

Orton takes out Austin.

Jericho hits Batista with the WHC.

Austin stuns Orton.

Batista hits the Batista Bomb.

Batista wins the WHC.

Callum is happy the match is over.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 14

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