2010 Royal Rumble
Match 1 – Christian Vs Ezekiel Jackson – Put the DVD in for this PPV, and couldn’t remember anything about this show aside from Undertaker Vs Mysterio for the WHC which will happen later. The moment they had the ECW ring announce on screen, I remembered about this match. On paper, a match with Big Zeke doesn’t look good. But his opponent is CHRISTIAN. And this WAS good. Will it hold up this time though? I have high hopes. Oh yeah, this is still just as good. Zeke is green as shit, but he’s fine here because he sticks to the basics. Nothing fancy, just using his power to make basic moves look devastating, working over Christian’s back, and then of course Christian’s incredible selling really pulls the match together. Zeke has only had 3 good matches off the top of my head; tag match with Regal Vs Christian & Kane the week before this show. This match against Christian. Last ECW show… against Christian. I’m no detective, but I see a pattern there! ***1/4.
TIFFANY! My favourite ECW GM! Cryme Tyme both want to be in the Rumble, but there is only one point available. They claim that Khali is going to give them his number. Khali mumbles incoherently. So nothing new there. PANTS ON THE GROUND. PANTS ON THE GROUND. I have NO IDEA what the fuck is going on. Miz shows up, so things just get worse. Miz gets put in a match. I kinda phased out. No idea who his opponent is. WHO LET THE DOGS OUT. This was easily one of the worst most confusing segments I’ve seen. But Tiffany looked hot so… all is forgiven.
Orton sitting backstage. Rhodes tells him he has his back… but isn’t sure about DiBiase. Probably more was said since it lasted a few minutes, but I was busy googling Tiffany.#
Match 2 – The Miz Vs MVP – US title match. I REALLY don’t care. NO.
Show and Jericho backstage. They used to be a team. Now Show is teaming with Miz. THE BIG JIZ. I like how all the segments with Show and Jericho following their tag team break up are all done like they were lovers and broke up. Awesome stuff. R-Truth shows up at the end to ruin things.
Orton again. DiBiase talks to him. Says Rhodes isn’t with them. Opposite of the Rhodes/Orton segment earlier.
Match 3 – Sheamus Vs Randy Orton – NO. Sorry, I can’t sit through this. Orton is dull as shit, and Sheamus would take another year to really hit his stride.
Match 4 – Michelle McCool Vs Mickie James – Divas title on the line. For months, LayCool had been calling Mickie James PIGGIE JAMES, because WWE are anti-bullying. LOL. Horrible, horrible feud and Mickie deserved WAY better. She wasn’t with the company for long after this. I remember there was actually a BOMB THREAT on WWE Headquarters from a Mickie James fan LMAO. Match lasts seconds. Mickie wins the title. Guess it was retribution, but yeah, match should have been so much more. DUD.
Match 5 – The Undertaker Vs Rey Mysterio – Fuck yes, finally anther match worth watching. WHC on the line. I think at this point in time, these two had only wrestled ONCE in 03, and it was a 5 minute match where Undertaker basically crushed Rey, but good god was it FUN. This really is an extended version of that match lol. Rey gets BOOED lol. Undertaker just destroys him in the most FUN way imaginable. Rey gets plenty of stuff in, but nothing really damaging to ‘Taker aside from bigger moves like the 619 (busting Undertaker open, and later in the year would injure the Dead Man for real lol), but even those don’t do much to the Phenom. He is just so protected that a guy the size of Rey, no matter what moves he’s using, just won’t affect Undertaker much at all. Hmmm, seems it was those kicks to the face while escaping a Tombstone that bust Undertaker open, not a 619. Ah well, my memory isn’t as good as I’d like it to be. They had the anti-blood policy around this time btw, where any match with blood would immediately be stopped so they could try and stop the bleeding. AIN’T NOBODY got the balls to stop an UNDERTAKER make because his nose is bleeding lol. Rey pretty much NEVER had a chance of winning, but this match is just soooooo much fucking fun. Watching Undertaker maul Mysterio, counter his moves in unique ways, and also see Rey do everything he can to land offence on the Dead Man. ***1/4.
HBK backstage wanting a monitor. He’s desperate to face Undertaker at WM again. Kane shows up and tells him he’s crazy and obsessed with his brother. HBK is desperate to win the RR. HHH tells him he won’t because HE is winning.
Match 6 – 30 Man Royal Rumble Match – #1 is none other than DOLPH, who will either be 1 or 2 this year (both are essentially the same, but winning from the #2 spot doesn’t seem to be held in the same regard). Evan Bourne is #2. Love how they both start out by going to the middle of the ring, looking at the WM sign, then Dolph screams “it’s MINE” and then they go at it. Good to see them putting over the importance of the match. STRAIGHT EDGE PUNK in at #3, complete with Jesus beard. And thus begins the awesomeness of Punk in this match. He takes out Bourne AND Dolph in succession, then he takes a mic and starts preaching! Khali is next and Punk looks scared, so he offers to SAVE Khali instead. Doesn’t work. He manages to survive the giant until BETH PHOENIX (Punk’s girlfriend at the time I believe) becomes the second women ever to enter a RR match shows up and ELIMINATES KHALI with a kiss. Punk eliminates Beth. Probably the only time in their relationship where he ends up on top. LOL. LMFAO ZACK RYDER. What a threat he is. Punk is about to offer him a place in the SES… but clocks him over the head with the mic before he can finish. Ryder doesn’t belong in the ring with Punk dammit. God this is awesome shit. Then HHH comes out and eliminates Punk and my interest in this match goes down faster than Melina on half the locker room. Fuck this match seriously gets dull up until HBK shows up at #18. HBK dominates and eliminates about 4 guys in a row. HHH and HBK are alone for about 2 seconds then Cena comes out. Double 5 Knuckle Shuffle looks terrible. HBK superkicks HHH out of the ring. LMAO just like the Survivor Series 09 triple threat. HBK and Cena are alone and they work together to clear the ring every time someone new comes out until SHOW shows up. Then fucking MARK HENRY comes in. Fuck yes. BATTLE OF THE FATTIES as my drunken friend would say. 2010 CHRIS MASTERS. Seeing him get to work with HBK for the first time since like 06 is a treat, though doesn’t last long as Show quickly gets rid of the Masterpiece. R-Truth eliminates Henry and Show at the same time. I repeat… R-NO FUCKING TALENT TRUTH ELIMINATES BIG SHOW AND MARK HENRY. What a load of bullshit. Edge returns. Batista is #30. Batista eliminates HBK and dashes his dreams of facing Undertaker at WM… for now. I liked the whole idea of HBK NEEDING to win the RR match, but they really didn’t do much with it in the match which disappointed me. Edge wins. Everyone knew that he was winning. Don’t like this match much. Punk stuff is great, but ends too quickly. Then gets incredibly dull with just a few good moments. **.