The Great American Bash 2006 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: March 23rd, 2015 by Big Cal

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The Great American Bash 2006

 

WWE’s GAB shows get a pretty bad rep, and it’s not always warranted. This show is a prime example! Though this WAS a Smackdown 2006 PPV. You have the Smackdown 6 in 2002/2003 ruling the show, then you have the Smackdown 2006 killing it!

 

Oh hey, Black Stone Cherry’s Lonely Train as the theme. Another 06 SD PPV that got me into a band!

 

And let’s not forget, this PPV was HUGELY screwed up due to a bunch of people being kept off the show due to “elevated enzymes in the liver”. So the fact I think highly of the show in light of those circumstances shows just how SD in 2006 could do very little wrong! In the wrestling aspect, anyway :p.

 

Paul London & Brian Kendrick Vs The Pitbulls – WWE Tag Team Championship Match

:lmao JBL bitching at the fact they have a Spanish Announce Team on a Great AMERICAN Bash show :lmao.

Pitbulls are Noble and Kash btw. In case you thought the old ECW team was back. One of them would have to be back from the dead at this point I think.

No fancy shit to start this one off, instead they end up scrapping on the mat to fight for control, then locking up and trying to gain control that way, and then they throw some punches too :mark:. London is losing the more brawling style this match is turning into, so he quickly changes his strategy and throws out a dropkick and from there is able to take Kash down a few times and tag Kendrick in to keep up the momentum.

Interesting to see these two styles meshing like this. Londrick flying around, and even though Noble and Kash CAN do that stuff too, they know they can’t do it AS WELL as Londrick so they try and work the match to their strengths which would be fighting and controlling a body part.

DOUBLE SUICIDE DIVE~!

Man, every time you think The Pitbulls are gonna have a nice long control segment, London and Kendrick just keep coming back with high flying moves to create enough distance between them and their opponents to make a tag. And then London tries to skin the cat and gets dropkicked to hell :mark:. Now that was a pretty spectacular transition spot tbh. NOW we can finally get a good FIP :mark:.

Great teased hot tag spots. Kash almost accidentally lets London tag out, but stops him just before, then decides to play around with him and let him go for a tag a couple of times, then pulls him back and smashes him in the face with forearms :mark:.

HOT TAG~! Kendrick owns everyone :mark:.

In the end, the teamwork for London and Kendrick shines through and they pick up the win. Good match, liked how they didn’t stick to the basic STF but instead played around with it a little and gave us something well worth watching :).

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Khali is screaming some incoherent shite then picks up Daivari and shakes him around because he’s mad.

 

TEDDY LONG~! He probably just jerked off to that tag match 8*D. Anyway, he’s out here to tell everyone that Lashley is unable to compete tonight. Finlay and Regal come out and want Long to declare Finlay the winner, but instead he makes a US title match between the two friends! :mark:

 

Finlay Vs William Regal – WWE United Championship Match

Lashley not being able to compete is actually for the best :D.

Regal being the veteran he is and knowing Finlay so well, looks under the ring first to make sure Hornswoggle isn’t there. Then they both decide to leave the ring and not wrestle… and Finlay tries to roll Regal up! Regal decks him in the face and gives him a stern talking to :lmao.

Well now they got that out of the way, it’s time for them both to actually compete! Pretty epic Collar and Elbow tie up! They go to the mat, roll out to the floor, then walk up the steps and back into the ring, while still in the hold!

Oh man, the Regal/Hornswoggle stuff is amazing :lmao. Hornswoggle grabs Regal’s leg, then smacks Regal in the back of the knee with the Shillelagh forcing Regal to run away and hide on the steps like that women in the old Tom and Jerry cartoons when she’d see Jerry and jump on a chair :lmao. Then Regal turns around and Swoggle is staring at him, so Regal makes one of his awesome faces and runs the fuck away back into the ring :lmao. Only Regal could make a Hornswoggle spot epic!

Speaking of epic; REGAL AND FINLAY BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF EACH OTHER :mark:.

Finlay takes the WORST Half Nelson Suplex I’ve ever seen… then Regal gets his hand bitten by Hornswoggle and Finlay targets the hand :mark:. Teddy Long probably jerked off to the tag match and I’ll probably jerk to this later :p. THIS IS AWESOME *clap clap clap clap clap*.

Man, Cole and JBL are really, really putting over Regal and Finlay :mark:. Going into their backgrounds and saying how TOUGH they both are and how awesome it is that they are both on Smackdown. I miss those times. God I <3 SD 2006!!!

Crazy to think that when I first watched this match (live in 06), I thought it was shit. I was disappointed as FUCK with it. Then I re-watched for my Smackdown 2006 project and fucking LOVED IT. And now I think I’m gonna end up loving it even more!

Fans chant BOOORING because they are fucking retarded, and Cole covers for it by saying they want Lashley, hence the boring chants.

Love Finlay’s apron spots :mark:. Gets his opponent caught up in the apron cover the fucking beats the living shit out of them.

Regal is now missing a boot! And of course, Finlay makes sure to STOP THE SHIT out of the exposed foot! Not sure how the boot came off, but Cole says it was likely Hornswoggle, and moments later, he pops up and hands Finlay the boot! Finlay smacks Regal in the face with his own boot and retains the title!

This. Fucking. Rules. God I absolutely cannot wait to see both Regal and Finlay’s single matches with Benoit on PPV this year too :mark:.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

 

REY AND CHAVO~! Of course they talk about Eddie all the time.

 

Gregory Helms Vs Matt Hardy

Fuck me the hits just keep coming! I know I said this PPV was really good and whatnot, but honestly I didn’t remember most of the card this time around. This might end up being fucking GREAT lol. Certainly off to one hell of a start!

Helms is the CW champ, but Hardy ain’t light enough to compete for it so this is just a straight up match. Both guys were absolutely killing it every week on SD around this time. More examples of the awesome talent SD 06 had!

These two go way back, all the way to the old Omega promotion days, so they have almost a natural rivalry going and can be put in a none title match like this and still make it come across as important because of their history. Especially now that Helms is heel and the CW champ and going out every week with a chip on his shoulder and proving people he’s as great as he claims to be.

:mark: Hardy mocking Helms by striking the Hurricane Pose :mark:.

Helms regains control and really takes it to Matt, grounding him and working the head and neck, and being in complete control of the match. Every time he stepped in the ring in 2006 it seemed like it was trying to prove something, and it resulted in one hell of a CW title run.

SWINGING NECK BREAKER FROM THE TOP ROPE~!

Great Hardy comeback with some sweet counters :mark:. Eye of the Hurricane countered into a Twist of Fate countered into another neckbreaker :mark:.

Awesome finishing stretch, with the neck and head work coming into play for the finish! Helms + Hardy + Smackdown 2006 = :mark:.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

 

Khali is hunting down Undertaker, who shows up and goes on the attack, only for Big Show to run him down! Teddy Long is pissed, and decides to switch out Khali for Big Show! Khali also had that liver shit.

 

The Undertaker Vs The Big Show – Punjabi Prison Match

So what the fook is a Punjabi Prison Match? Well, a cage made out of bamboo, with doors that open on a timer or something… then another cage around it that you have to escape to win. Stupid? Yeah. But it’s BIG SHOW VS UNDERTAKER so who cares? :)

Show is, well, terrified. He’s in this unique structure for the first time, against the fucking UNDERTAKER. And when you corner a scared animal, he tends to react violently, and Show is no different. Takes the fight right to the Dead Man at the start, hoping to keep that momentum going and prevent Undertaker from punching his face in.

Undertaker punches his face in.

Huh, Undertaker tries to climb out of the first cage… despite it having spikes on top… and FOUR DOORS TO ESCAPE THROUGH.

Ha, JBL just used my caged animal analogy.

Undertaker and Show are beating the fuck out of each other :mark:.

CHOKESLAM COUNTERED INTO A DDT~!

One door is opened, but 60 seconds run out before anyone can escape so now it’s CLOSED FOR GOOD.

Show rips a fucking noose or something from the cage and uses it to wear down ‘Taker. I guess they thought this match could be so horrible based on the concept that they’d better give the wrestlers something to hang themselves with :side:.

Another door opens and oh noes nobody escaped and it’s CLOSED FOR GOOD.

CHOKESLAM~!

So this has definitely had some great stuff so far. 2 giants punching each other in the face is always going to appeal to me in some form haha, but man oh man there is a LOT of slow down here. Show was REALLY out of shape around this time, which is part of the reason he left the company at the end of the year. Had he been in better shape this might have had a better pace. But hey, at least Khali wasn’t in the match!!! :p

UNDERTAKER IS BLEEDING~!

Fuck me. Despite the fact there are still TWO DOORS LEFT… Show tries to climb out. Both of them have made that retarded mistake now.

HOLY SHIT UNDERTAKER SUPERPLEXED BIG SHOW~!

UNDERTAKER ESCAPES THE FIRST CAGE THROUGH A DOOR~!

:lmao Undertaker looks to climb the second structure, then randomly decides to try and kick a hole in it instead :lmao.

Big Show is free! Throws Undertaker through a randomly placed table, then puts Undertaker back into the ring right as the last door is closing for good!!! Smart by Big Show!

Luckily for Undertaker, Big Show, as I just mentioned, is out of shape so he can’t exactly climb the cage quickly :p.

Undertaker climbs out, and reaches over to the second cage as it higher up that Show! They battle on the side of the cage, and Undertaker uses a randomly placed rope (WHAT IS IT WITH ALL THESE FUCKING OBJECTS IN THE CAGE LOL?) and swings himself at Big Show! I bet Paul Burchill ain’t happy with that! :p

LEG DROP THROUGH ANOTHER RANDOMLY PLACED TABLE~!

BIG SHOW IS BLEEDING~!

CROSS BODY FROM THE FIRST CAGE ONTO THE BIG SHOW, SENDING THEM BOTH THROUGH THE SECOND CAGE~! Undertaker somehow wins! :p

Well, I don’t think this match sucks like a lot of people do, but it’s still nothing special. Like I said, it’s too slow in parts. Cut 5 minutes or so off the match and this would have been much better. They did what they could with a new (shitty) gimmick match and not much time to plan what they were gonna do thanks to Show being Khali’s replacement.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

 

Awful Booker T and Sharmell backstage segment. Urgh. King Booker was so damn bad.

 

Kristal Vs Ashley Vs Michelle McCool Vs Jillian Hall – Bra and Panties Match

FAP FAP FAP NO.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

Miz interviews Kennedy. Is that the worst pairing EVER? :lmao

 

Batista Vs Mr Kennedy

Originally supposed to be Henry Vs Batista, but Henry got INJURED and was unable to compete. Nothing to do with his liver lol.

Batista is PISSED. PISSED. He’s returning to the ring since he got injured in January, and the guy who injured him, Mark Henry, got injured before Batista could gain revenge. So poor Mr Kennedy is just fodder for the ANIMAL :mark:.

Kennedy gets his face smashed into the steel steps and he is BUSTED OPEN. So Batista takes it upon himself to PUNCH THE OPEN WOUND :mark:.

Mr Kennedy isn’t happy about being busted open and goes to leave… then runs back in to surprise Batista and gets fucking RUN OVER :mark:.

Man, Kennedy’s cut is fucking bad lol. It seems to fire him up and he is able to actually gain the advantage! Anyone who was around to see my Smackdown 2006 Project reviews will know I constantly praised Kennedy with how he was able to create openings for himself during matches and take full advantage, and this is yet another match where he demonstrates that talent.

:mark: Batista takes a beating from Kennedy but is still pissed off he ends up firing back and absolutely fucking MAULING Mr Kennedy, so much so the referee calls for the bell! Mr Kennedy wins!

For Batista though, this wasn’t about winning or losing. This was about destroying someone and taking out his anger and frustration from being injured and having to give up the WHC 7 months ago.

SPINBUSTER~!

SPINEBUSTER~!

SPINEBUSTER~!

BATISTA BOMB~!

So this kinda rules. Kennedy looked good, Batista looked good, and the match did its job. Batista is BACK and looks unstoppable, while Kennedy looked strong and even technically got the win!

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Rey Mysterio Vs Booker T – World Championship Match

Bah, I wish I could NO this match. Stupid main event title match.

Fucking SHUT UP Bradshaw. I’m surprised he can talk so much while having Booker’s black cock in his mouth. SLURP SLURP SLURP.

More EDDIESPLOITATION to start the match as Booker screams EDDIE CAN’T HELP YOU to Rey in hopes of getting the crowd to support Rey.

Here we go! The first ever Hell in a Cell match. The Undertaker, fighting for revenge. Shawn Michaels, fighting to survive. Also, something that is often forgotten about this match, the #1 contendership for the WWF Championship at Survivor Series is on the line too!

Before the match starts, we see referee Earl Hebner padlock the cell door shut, as Shawn pleads with him to let him out. No chance Shawn. You danced with the devil, and now you are about to get burnt!

With the door locked, the match can begin. HBK circles the ring, as The Undertaker slowly stalks his prey. After everything Shawn has done to him over the last couple of months, The Undertaker wants to put Shawn through a lot of pain, and is going to take his time doing it. He sees no need to rush, no need to run after Shawn, because unlike Ground Zero, he has nowhere to run, nowhere to hide, and no one to save him.

After playing a bit of cat and mouse, The Undertaker catches up to Shawn in the ring, and here we go! Nothing fancy, just ‘Taker grabbing Shawn by the back of his head, and ramming him into numerous turnbuckles. Shawn sells them like he just hit concrete, which some people would state he is overselling, but personally I loved it, and felt it made The Undertaker seem like a vicious powerful monster, which WWF were really turning him into at the time.

Shawn takes a beating for a couple of minutes, with ‘Taker working over the arm, hitting Old School, and even going for a cover at one point. Was The Undertaker trying to win? No, I don’t think he was. He gave Shawn a beating a month ago at Ground Zero, and Shawn never gave up, so he knew it would take more than what he had done so far to put HBK away. So why go for a cover? Because he can. He is showing Shawn that HE is in control, not Shawn. Also, kicking out of a pin attempt with a 300+ pounder on top of you wastes energy, and just helps The Undertaker more. A question some of you may be thinking is “why did Shawn kick out?”. Good question, because let’s face it, if Shawn didn’t kick out, the match would be over and he would escape the possibility of worse pain. Going back to what I said earlier, this match is for the #1 contendership. Shawn, like everyone in the WWF, wants the WWF Championship. Winning this match will place him in a title match, where he is one step closer to being champion once again. Then there is the fact Shawn is an arrogant heel, and beating The Undertaker will feed his ego, and give him bragging rights forever more.

The Undertaker decides to step things up a bit, as he grabs Shawn by the throat, seemingly going for a Chokeslam! Shawn senses this, and desperately fights his way out, sending ‘Taker into the corner. He mounts him, and begins to punch ‘Taker in the head. The Undertaker throws Shawn off, and he flies half way across the ring, again perhaps overselling, but IMO putting The Undertaker over even more. Shawn is a resilient man though, and he quickly gets to his feet and charges over into the corner to mount the Dead Man once again.

Every time Shawn attempts any offense, The Undertaker just shrugs it off and continues his epic assault on the “Sexy Boy”. The fight goes to the outside, and things are about to get brutal. ‘Taker imposes his will on Shawn, using his size and power along with the deadly cell walls to inflict more pain and damage. A couple of spots I always enjoy are when The Undertaker picks up Shawn, then smashes him back first into the ring post, turns around and smashes him back first into the corner of the cell, turns around again and smashes him in the ring post once again, then turns around one last time to send him back first into the corner of the cell. The other is when ‘Taker goes for a powerbomb, but Shawn seemingly reverses it, punching The Undertaker repeatedly in the face, only for The Undertaker to turn around and repeatedly smash Shawn into the corner of the cell again! When Shawn drops to the floor, you can see the marks on his back left by the cell, showing you that he really did hit the cell, and he hit it hard.

The underlying story of this match continues, with Shawn using the cell to attempt an escape from the pain and destruction The Undertaker has on his mind. He tries his best to climb up the cell wall to get away, but The Undertaker is tall enough to reach up and drag Shawn back down, back to hell.

Again the cell comes into play in this match, this time providing Shawn with an opening he so desperately needed. ‘Taker whips Shawn into one of the cell walls, then comes running at him, only to smash face first into the cell himself! I’m unsure if it was Shawn being able to dodge the attack, of if the sheer force of The Undertaker’s Irish Whip caused Michaels to bounce off and dodge the attack, but either way it created an opening, and HBK took it!

Just as Shawn appears to have the advantage, The Undertaker fights back. But as quickly as he re-gained control, he loses it! Shawn knocks The Undertaker off the apron, and sends him into the cell, then follows it up with a suicide dive, again driving The Undertaker into the cell! He isn’t giving ‘Taker time to recover, as he climbs the cell once again, this time to drop an elbow! Shawn is looking strong in this match now. He has used his speed, quickness and high flying ability to gain control, and is now using dirty tactics to keep that control. One of my all time favourite spots (not just from this match, but in general) right here, as Shawn hits a Piledriver to The Undertaker, ON THE STEEL STEPS! It makes one hell of a sound, and just looks incredible.

But even after all of that, The Undertaker crawls back into the ring. Again, this is putting over The Undertaker as an unstoppable monster, while at the same time, showing how resilient and CREDIBLE Shawn Michaels is when he is in the ring with the bigger, stronger opponent. Shawn doesn’t like the fact The Undertaker is still coming after him, so he pulls out a steel chair! This epic feud all began with a steel chair shot, and Shawn hopes to end it with one. I say one, but Shawn hits ‘Taker twice for good measure, and makes the cover! 1…2… NO! The Undertaker is not going out like that again. He still needs to extract his revenge on Shawn, and a steel chair isn’t going to do it this time.

The match starts to change from this moment on, as The Undertaker back body drops Shawn over the ropes, and onto a camera man. Shawn begins to beat the hell out of the camera man, laying him out on the floor. Why did he do it? I believe because he knew it would force the referee to open the door for EMT’s to attend to the guy, and the open door would allow Shawn to escape.

Until then though, Shawn must keep The Undertaker at bay. HUGE elbow drop from the top, followed by Sweet Chin Music! While all of this is happening, the door has been opened too! This is the part where I now feel the door being opened was a contingency plan, IF his superkick was not enough to put down The Undertaker. After all, what would be better than pinning The Undertaker in this match, instead of running away?

Of course, things don’t quite work out for HBK, as The Undertaker sits right up from Sweet Chin Music! Shawn is shocked, and makes a run for the door before it’s closed again! The Undertaker follows him out and catches him, sending him into the cell wall on numerous occasions, and busting him open too!

Shawn is lucky once again to find a small opening, but what is he going to do with it now? Inside the cell, he was unable to put the Dead Man away with his finisher. Outside of the cell, he was still unable to get away from the monstrous beast. The only thing left, if for him to CLIMB to the top of the cell! Unfortunately for Shawn, The Undertaker, even at 330lbs, near 7 feet tall, is able to follow him up there too!

Both men are now on top of the cell, and Shawn attempts a Piledriver up there, but instead gets a back body drop onto the steel! If that wasn’t bad enough, The Undertaker lifts him over his head, and slams him from over 7 feet in the air to the steel! Right hand now by The Undertaker, and Shawn nearly falls off the edge! He holds on, while The Undertaker has something sick on his mind. He stomps on one hand, he stomps on the other hand, and…

“Incoming!”

Shawn Michaels has nothing to hold on to, and falls back from halfway up the cell, through the announcer’s table! It crashes under the weight, and Shawn is a bloody mess on the concrete floor! It’s not over yet though, as The Undertaker climbs down, and slams him onto the floor!

While the majority of this match has been about The Undertaker being an unstoppable, almost un-human DESTRUCTION MACHINE, it’s also all about Shawn showing off just how damn resilient he is. After everything The Undertaker has done to him, he is STILL able to get up, and following the story of the match, does his best to get away from The Undertaker.

The Dead Man catches up to him once again, and throws him back into the cell, and the referee padlocks it shut one more time! Shawn is bleeding even more it seems, as it is flowing from the head of the Heart Break Kid.

The Undertaker has complete control now. He senses the time is right to put away the man who cost him the title, and starts it all off with a Chokeslam from the ropes! WOW! That isn’t enough though, as ‘Taker goes to the outside, and brings in a steel chair! As I’ve said before, this feud started with a chair shot, and The Undertaker wants it to end the same way. SICK chair shot to the bloodied head of Shawn Michaels, and payback is a BITCH! Undertaker signals that the end is here, but the lights go out, and we hear the eerie music of the man we discover to be… KANE!

Kane RIPS open the cell door, takes out the referee, and then stands face to face with his brother The Undertaker. He raises his arms, then brings them down to release fire from all 4 corners, just like The Undertaker has been known to do! The Undertaker is distracted, allowing Kane to hit a Tombstone!!!

Paul Bearer wakes the referee up, Shawn raises his head from the pool of blood he was lying in, and covers the Dead Man! A slow count, but The Undertaker is OUT of it. Shawn Michaels has WON!

Holy Shit! Every time I watch this match, I love it more and more. I love everything about it. From the way they build off the Ground Zero match with Shawn trying his best to simply get away, to the epic debut of Kane, which gives Shawn the big win, making him more credible going into the Survivor Series to fight for the title, while at the same time keeping The Undertaker credible from this loss, and further building The Undertaker/Kane feud that had been slowly boiling for months now.

People have been talking about Hell in a Cell matches for years, comparing them, ranking them, praising them and dissing them. I’ve seen people make excellent points as to why another cell match is more brutal, or why another cell match has more action, or why another cell match has better storytelling ect ect. That’s all good, people have different opinions, and that’s what makes us individuals. However, I do disagree with their opinions. I strongly believe that no other Hell in a Cell match has better storytelling, action, or even brutality. Sure, it might not be as straight up brutal as Brock Lesnar/The Undertaker, but it doesn’t have to be IMO. The fact that it’s built around one man just destroying the other makes it brutal to me. Then the blade job from Shawn, the fall from the cell, and the puddle of blood in the ring where Shawn is makes it just as brutal to me. It is only one of two cell matches that combines those three factors into the match (the second being The Undertaker Vs Edge, SummerSlam 2008), instead of just using two of the three, or in some cases, one.

This was the first ever Hell in a Cell match. I strongly believe that is has never been matched, and probably never will. It set the standard, and is the measuring stick not only for Hell in a Cell matches, but every other gimmick match too IMO. It shows perfectly how to combine storytelling, action and brutality into a single match, as well as how you put over both men involved, and even put over a completely new wrestler that has never been seen before the match (Kane). This was the first ever Hell in a Cell match, and I strongly believe it is the GREATEST MATCH OF ALL TIME. *****.

Huh, what? Oh, sorry. Booker T Vs Rey Mysterio. Chavo costs Rey the title because he sucks. Like this match. Rey was alright in it, but man Booker sucks hard. Didn’t help that most of the time Rey got any offence in, it seemed to be some shitty set up to a 619. You could make a drinking game out of it; take a shot every time Rey sets up a fecking 619. You’d be smashed before the match is over. Which probably helps immensely.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 13

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