The Great American Bash 2008 PPV Ramblings

Posted on: September 13th, 2015 by Big Cal

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The Great American Bash 2008

 

JBL is poopy.

 

John Morrison & The Miz Vs Curt Hawkins & Zack Rider Vs Jesse & Festus Vs Finlay & Hornswoggle – WWE Tag Team Championship Match

Seriously? Finlay teaming with the midget? He’d have been better going into this alone…

:lmao FESTUS VS HORNSWOGGLE stare down at the start. Bah, Hornswoggle just dives on Jiz and Morrison and we don’t get the epic showdown :(.

Ah well, Festus beating the shit out of Jiz. That’s fun :).

Lol, Finlay tags himself in via Festus and gets booted in the fucking FACE :lmao.

:lmao Foley is just ripping Jiz to shreds on commentary :lmao.

I watched Foley’s live show thingy on the Dub Dub Eee Network a couple of weeks back. Was kinda shitty outside of JIZ JOKES. No, not actual Jiz, but Miz as Jiz.

:lmao oh man, Finlay takes down Jiz and starts punching him in the face and Foley starts marking the fuck out :lmao.

Finlay fucking ROCKS here. He literally is wrestling the match as a handicap match, and so far he’s been dominated by Jix and Morrison and now Hawkins and Ryder, but he just keeps firing back with shots to the face and even gets a couple of big moves in too! He’s just a scrappy Irish Bastard who won’t give up!!!

HOT TAG TO HORNSWOGGLE~! And then Jesse tags himself in and gets booed to fuck :lmao.

:lmao Hawkins takes a cheap shot and punches Hornswoggle off the apron :lmao.

FESTUS HOT TAG :mark:. He’s owning EVERYONE :mark:. Clears the ring, tags in Jesse for a big top rope move, but Festus ends up being pulled under the ring and Jess knocked off the ropes, and Hawkins & Ryder end up becoming the new tag team champions!!!

All right, good start to the show! Fun match, with a great FIP from Finlay, and some awesome FIRE from Festus, and fun moments with Hornswoggle. Mainly him getting punched in the face :lmao.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Matt Hardy Vs Shelton Benjamin – United States Championship Match

Hmmm… this actually could be good. Hardy rocks, and Shelton has been capable of great matches here and there.

:mark: fans are fucking SUPER into this. A nice lengthy “let’s go Hardy, let’s go Shelton” chant :mark:. Shelton is doing rather good at being a vicious cunt early on too. That probably helps the fans get behind Hardy as much as they are atm.

Shelton tries to work over Hardy’s back, but Hardy is still able to make a big comeback until he gets caught flying off the top rope right into a fucking CORNER POWERBOMB :mark:.

Nice job by Shelton to continue to go after the back every time Hardy gains a little momentum.

:mark: Moonsault from Hardy but Shelton puts his knee up and Hardy goes EYE FIRST into the knee :mark:. PAY DIRT~! NEW US CHAMP!!!

Good mid-card title match… though the back work did end up being useless as it took a knee to the eye and Pay Dirt to end it :p.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Mark Henry Vs Tommy Dreamer – ECW Championship Match

IT’S HENRY TIME!!! :mark:

LOL Colin Delany. Remember him? Hopefully you don’t :p.

HENRY TRASH TALKING FOR THE MOMENT THE BELL RINGS :mark:.

Henry is murdering Dreamer and the fans are chanting boring. They all deserve to be SHOT IN THE BALLS OR VAGINA.

:lmao Colin turns on Dreamer :lmao.

I enjoyed this a ton tbh. It was Henry just throwing Dreamer around and making him look like a weak, pathetic nobody :mark:. Turn at the end wasn’t needed because Henry was never in any real trouble lol.

:mark: Henry just STANDING on Dreamer and walking over him after he’s won is awesome. God, Henry is so fucking great.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

 

Shawn Michaels Vs Chris Jericho

Hmmm… hmmmmm hmmmm hmmmmm…

Honestly don’t remember the last time I saw this. Might have been the one time back in 08 when it happened. Either way, I don’t remember much outside of blood. Depending on who I talk to, I get a different opinion on this one. Either it’s fantastic with great story telling, or it’s utter shite with crappy story telling :lmao.

Shawn VERY SLOWLY tries to beat up Jericho. And by slowly I mean he spends like 30 seconds in between each punch :|.

Springboard dropkick and Shawn is out of this match it seems. He has bad ribs from… I don’t remember, and his eye is fucked too.

Oh look, a shitty submission hold by Jericho. How… pointless. What is Jericho’s purpose in this match?

Now Jericho is doing the “punch, wait 30 seconds, punch again” bit. Thing is, both men are throwing some good shots in this match… but doing it so damn slowly that it ends up looking like shit.

Fuck me, both guys just look so…. uncoordinated here. They’ve shown on occasion that they DO have good chemistry, but at the same time they just don’t click in a lot of their matches too. This is one of those matches.

:lmao Lance Cade shows up and immediately gets dropped. HBK does a super moonsault from the top rope to the floor and… ends up going in between both Cade and Jericho :lmao. Nice catch, guys. I thought HBK was the one with the injured eye in this match? 8*D

HBK is bleeding and not even the commentators know how/when it happened :lmao.

:lmao Jericho sees the blood and his reaction is so… CAMP :p.

A WILD ELBOW APPEARED~! Turns out that’s how HBK got busted open.

The referee keeps checking on Shawn, while Jericho and Cade work over the bad eye.

This continues for waaaay too long. Shawn tells the referee not to end the match. Jericho kicks him in the face a few more times… rinse and repeat.

Eventually the referee decides to stop the match. Yawn. I stopped caring by then.

Match is a mess.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Edge shows off the worst acting ever during an interview. And yet, he’s now an actor. He’s on some show my mum watches. Haven I think? Yeah that’s it.

 

Michelle McCool Vs Natalya – WWE Divas Championship Match

Remember when Natalya was more chunky and had ginger hair? Me either :lmao. Didn’t even recognise her lol.

So, this is to determine the FIRST EVER DIVAS CHAMPION.

SKIP~! :lmao.

Rating: NO
CAL SCALE – -1

 

CM Punk Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match

Actually wasn’t that long ago I watched this match. Hadn’t seen it since it aired, and I can’t remember what we were discussing on the wrestling forum at the time, but I ended up being super interested in seeing this match lol.

Punk’s title reign… poor guy. They just kinda threw the belt on him and hoped that somehow he’d do well without decent opponents, booking, and being completely overshadowed by the likes of the HBK/Jericho feud and anything involving Cena.

Batista just countered a school boy pin WITH HIS ARSE.

Punk often gets laughed at for his worked kicks, but damn, he throws some great ones early on here. Helps that Batista just LET’S HIM connect :p.

Some decent back work from Batista, while Punk keeps trying to stay in the match by using quick kicks and high flying moves to ground the bigger, stronger opponent.

Big probs to Batista here too for selling really well. He takes those kicks to the head nicely and sells exhaustion from them real well too. While he does technically dominate a lot of this match, he still ends up making Punk look great on a number of occasions.

CM PUNK WITH AN ARMBAR USING THE ROPES~! Maybe he should do MMA with submission skills like that 8*D.

SPINEBUSTER ON THE FLOOR~!

And… then Kane shows up and attacks everyone. Because stuff.

Shame the finish was what it was, because if it wasn’t what it was and was something else instead, then it could have been a much better match overall :).

Still, they did a great job before the finish.

Rating: ***1/4
CAL SCALE – 3

 

John Cena Vs JBL – Parking Lot Brawl

*sigh* the build up to this match. JBL is Poopy. Spray painted on the limo.

JBL.

IS.

POOPY.

At least JBL tries to legitimately kill Cena for it :lmao.

I like how JBL shows up to this match IN HIS SUIT :lmao. And then of course Cena shows up in his wrestling attire because I don’t think he owns any other clothes tbh.

Cena the cowardly superhero hides from JBL and tries to run HIM over. Way to turn the other cheek, John! What a good guy he is :).

:lmao Cena electrocuting JBL’s balls ala Kane and Shane from 2003 :lmao.

:lmao Cena is fucking intent on murdering JBL for real here. He just threw a gas bottle or something as hard as he could at the man! Luckily JBL moved and the only thing that got destroyed was a CAR :p.

:mark: JBL fighting back :mark:. Threw Cena into a car door and it came off the hinges :mark:.

I wish WWE did other superstar t-shirts in the same design as the Cena one he’s wearing right now. It’s that Retro NES style one, and would look awesome without Cena on it :p.

DDT ON THE TOP OF A CAR~!

Cena kicks out at 2 :lmao.

CENA’S HEAD THROUGH A WINDOW~!

And now for some reason, JBL has thrown Cena into the back of a car and shut the door. OMG HE’S GONNA SET HIM ON FIRE~! :mark:

:lmao at the limo driver backing the fuck away in the limo after JBL gets the gas can :lmao. He ain’t staying around for that shit!!!

BAH GAWD MAN, DON’T DO IT. THERE’S A MAN INSIDE THAT CAR! HE HAS A FAMILY… OR NOT. WHATEVER.

THE CAR IS ON FIRE~! JOHN CENA IS BURNING ALIVE INSIDE THAT CA… awwww man, referee’s show up with fire extinguishers :(.

CENA NO SELLS FIRE :lmao.

And now Cena locks JBL in a car… YEY FORKLIFT TRUCK RIDE~!

I like how Cena just kinda KNOWS how to operate a fork lift truck. At least when Bryan used it on Kane that one time the commentators kept telling us that Bryan used to work in a warehouse so it made sense at least :p.

In fact, come to think of it, a LOT of wrestlers can drive fork lift trucks. And monster trucks. And cement trucks. Anything really.

:mark: Cena tries to set JBL up for an F-U off the stage onto a car… and JBL counters by launching CENA off the stage and right through the windscreen!

HOLY SHIT JBL WINS!!!

Man oh man, this is INSANE. It’s stupid, it’s hilarious, and it’s AWESOME AS FUCK. Had a blast with this one :lmao.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 4

 

Triple H Vs Edge – WWE Championship Match

I’m confused… the build up video package thing seems to be making it out like we’re getting Edge Vs Vickie after Edge kissed Alicia Fox before marrying Vickie :lmao. HHH is just the guy that showed the video :lmao.

Oh hey, Eve :). I miss Eve. She was HOT. Had a couple of good matches too!

I remember absolutely NOTHING about this match, other than I’m guessing HHH retains the belt at the end lol. This is the first, and I still think the only singles PPV match between these two men, right? Don’t recall them having many single matches at ALL, even on TV. Just a couple in 04/05 on Raw, and probably another sometime on SD around this time no doubt.

My god this is dull. They are just… going back and forth doing shit. Nothing interesting, no story… nothing. It’s like watching a CPU Vs CPU match on a WWE game.

:lmao Alicia Fox shows up towards the end of the match to try and help Edge until Vickie shows up and decks her :mark:.

Vickie looks to deck Edge with the WWE title, but ends up in a cat fight with Alicia… and gets SPEARED by Edge :lmao.

Oh look, a Pedigree. HHH retains.

What a giant load of fuck all.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

 

Overall CAL SCALE – 12

2 responses to “The Great American Bash 2008 PPV Ramblings”

  1. Andy says:

    What happened to last Sunday review!

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