Night of Champions 2008
EVERY MATCH IS A CHAMPIONSHIP MATCH~!
John Morrison & The Miz Vs Finlay & Hornswoggle – WWE Tag Team Championship Match
Seriously? Hornswoggle is Finaly’s tag partner tonight? I have no problem with Hornswoggle being with Finlay, but NOT as his fucking TAG TEAM PARTNER. He shouldn’t be in matches. Ever. Bah. Unless it’s Wee LC. Then it’s ok .
*update* Well it’s been nearly TWO MONTHS since I first started this show . And all I did was write that first sentence . Now I have some alcohol so I’m hoping to get through the show this time lol.
Finlay and a Midget competing for the tag titles against 2 full grown men who are the tag champs. Yeah, ummm, are we HONESTLY supposed to believe that Miz & Morrison have the advantage in this match? Finlay would fucking MURDER the tag champs all by himself . Hell he DOES at a few points lol.
This was actually somewhat fun. Finlay rocks so that’s that. The Hornswoggle stuff was actually really well done too. Nothing worth watching, but if someone forced you to watch it, you wouldn’t want to shoot yourself after. And for a match involving THE JIZ, that’s all you can ever hope for .
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Matt Hardy Vs Chavo Guerrero – United States Championship Match
Urgh, Chabo. But Matt Hardy is also in the match. Decision, decisions. Fine, I’ll watch it. Like I said, I have ALCOHOL to get me through the show .
Chabo botches a back body drop.
THE INNOVATIVE OFFENCE OF CHAVO GUERRERO~! fuck off Foley . Or maybe it was JR. I was too busy drinking at the time .
So Mr Chabo is working over the leg and knee of Hardy, and according to Foley, Chabo knows how to do that effectively because he was brought up in the business. Yeah, because that’s the only way to learn how to work a body part…
Thankfully Hardy is an awesome seller so he keeps this match somewhat interesting.
Wanna know something I HATE? Aside from Chabo, obviously. When someone goes for a top rope move and “rolls through” because his opponent avoided it. Which actually means they don’t even ATTEMPT the ACTUAL FUCKING MOVE, then just do a fucking roll off the ropes and it looks downright RETARDED. Even the great Eddie Guerrero would do it from time to time too. It just looks worse when Chabo does it .
Hardy struggles to adjust to only having one leg in this match (because the other is hurting, he hasn’t turned into Zach Gowen all of a sudden. I’m not THAT drunk… yet), and keeps TRYING to his his usual high flying offence but either had to make adjustments mid move that aren’t as effective as he’d like, or Chabo counters by going to the leg. Good stuff .
Chabo goes for the Three Amigos aka LOOK AT ME I’M RELATED TO EDDIE, but Hardy counters the third one into a Twist of Fate and covers for the win!!!
Fine match, and Chabo hate aside, you really could have replaced him with ANYONE ELSE doing basic leg work and have Hardy sell and shit, because he was the driving force here.
CAL SCALE – 1
they replay a segment from Raw… and it’s the bit when Vince gets killed by the stage during that Million Dollar give away thing . What was that shit even all about, anyway? Did anything get… solved?
Mark Henry Vs Kane Vs The Big Show – ECW Championship Match
BATTLING BEEFIES .
Ok, was too busy ENJOYING THE FUCK out of this to bother typing shit lol. SO much fun. 3 BEEFIE BASTARDS BATTLING for the ECW Title. What’s NOT to love? Beating the ever loving shit out of each other, and doing things that you wouldn’t expect guys of this size to be capable of. It rocks all kinds of shit.
And to top it all off… HENRY wins the title . MOTN. I don’t care what else is on the show. I doubt it’ll beat THIS.
CAL SCALE – 4
Batista interview. EVE TORRES . I miss Eve. She was awesome as the evil corporate sellout.
Cena shows up. Then Punk shows up and says he hopes both guys win the titles tonight and bring them back to raw cos his briefcase is getting heavy.
Cody Rhodes & Hardcore Holly Vs Ted DiBiase & ??? – World Tag Team Championship Match
Lillian looking HOT as per usual .
DiBiase has a mystery tag partner… but nobody knows who it is!!!
Match starts, and Cody DDT’s Holly straight away . Million Dollar Dream into a… neckbreaker and DiBiase & Rhodes win the titles!!!
Anyone else kinda wonder what things would have been like had Holly turned on Rhodes to team with DiBiase?
CAL SCALE – 0
Chris Jericho Vs Kofi Kingston – WWE Intercontinental Championship
Kofi is Jericho’s surprise opponent . What a let down .
“Controlled Frenzy” needs to be removed from existence.
So, this was a match.
CAL SCALE – 0
Mickie James Vs Katie Lea Burchill – WWE Women’s Championship Match
Nah, I’ll pass.
CAL SCALE – -1
Edge Vs Batista – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Thanks to the draft (I… think), both major titles are now on Smackdown, so Batista is here to try and bring the WHC back with him to Raw. If he loses, he doesn’t get another shot at Edge. Man, feels like I’ve written that for every match these two have had together .
BATISTA IS A POUNDER~! Just ask Melina .
So Batista throws Edge around for a while until Edge smashes Batista’s shoulder into the ring post and blah blah blah. God I’m so sick of seeing these guys wrestle. They had like a billion matches in 07 and now they’re back at it in 08.
NECK BREAKER. THAT’S A WRESTLING MANOEUVRE~! Huh, seems JR gave up when he got drafted to SD as a surprise .
Fuck me this is just awful. But I guess it gives us a new drinking game. Take a shot every time someone takes a bump into the turnbuckle.
Batista is about to win, so Vickie and the Edge Heads show up and start screwing around breaking up pins and knocking out the referee. Vickie demands a new ref come down and… it’s Chabo. Wanna make an Edge Vs Batista match WORSE? Add Chabo to it!!!
Edge wins. I lose.
CAL SCALE – 0
Triple H Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Match
Well, Batista failed, so it’s up to SUPER CENA to bring home a title to Raw.
Haven’t seen this match since it aired. Haven’t really cared to go out of my way to see it again tbh lol. Which is a little odd as I’ve always liked their WM 22 match, and most people do say this is the better match between them.
Shades of WM 22 early on with HHH “out-wrestling” Cena and then telling him to SUCK IT. Ahhh, remember WM 22 with both HBK and HHH referencing DX in their matches, teasing a potential reunion? What a fun time. And then they DID reunite. What a shitty time.
Cena SALUTES HHH AS RETALIATION FOR THE CROTCH CHOP EARLIER . I… I don’t think that’s EVER an insult John… well, maybe when you do it as shitty as you do. Learn to fucking salute you pleb!
This match is about half way in now and it’s been very back and forthy. HHH will control, then Cena will control, then HHH will control, and all the while I just don’t care. Fuck me, Cena goes for his 5 MOVES OF DOOM at one point and oh boy, it might be the single worst execution of the whole thing EVER. Cena’s offence looks awful. More so than usual. And HHH sells it like he’s the worst wrestler ever. Sure he’s not usually a great wrestler, but I wouldn’t call him the worst ever. Anyway, it all looked like shit from both guys.
Huh, HHH’s leg is hurt. I must have dozed off cos buggered if I know how he hurt it .
Cena doing leg work. This is fun. Wanna know what else is just as fun? Eye stabbing.
Yey Boo crowd thing.
This is mercifully over.
And people think this is better than their WM match? Are they all high? Or stupid? Or stupid and high?
This is dull and shitty.
CAL SCALE – 0
Overall CAL SCALE – 4.5