Night of Champions 2009
Title matches and stuff.
Chris Jericho & The Big Show Vs Cody Rhodes & Ted DiBiase – Unified Tag Team Championship Match
Wow, Edge didn’t even make it to the next PPV after winning the tag titles?
THE AGE OF JERISHOW BEGINS~!
Anyone remember the rumours at the time as to who Jericho would pick? Just curious lol. Hilarious how many times Big Show has been the MYSTERY OPPONENT/PARTNER to replace someone, and he always seems to be a big disappointment to the fans too, because they always speculate that it’ll be someone HUGE like OMG ROCK OMG AUSTIN OMG HULK HOGAN and it never is .
Did… did Lawler just try to get Show’s strength over by… by… no of course he didn’t. He couldn’t have. No WAY could Lawler have tried to make Show’s strength seem impressive by saying… by saying…
HE CAN CRUSH A GRAPE .
Nothing like a good old fashioned HEEL VS HEEL match to open a PPV and get the fans going .
This is just a standard, by the numbers tag match. Nothing bad, just… not worth talking about tbh .
Big Show hits a nice SPEAR to DiBiase though .
In the end, DiBiase taps to Big Show’s “Colossal Clutch”.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
CM Punk interview to talk about his match with Jeff later tonight. Instead he takes the mic and wanders out into the crowd to try and figure out why the fans are still behind Hardy despite all the TRUTHS that Punk has told about him over the last few weeks. He decides that it’s the people’s PARENTS, or rather, PARENT, that is the problem.
Tommy Dreamer Vs Christian – ECW Championship Match
Time for Christian to win back the title .
Did you know? Christian can hover!!!
First offensive move from both men is a SLAP TO THE FACE, seems like a nice callback to a segment on ECW where Christian slapped Dreamer. Crazy that I remember that shit lol.
The ECW title has changed hands 12 times in Philly. Well DUH, it was like one of the only places ECW had shows .
Nice counter by Dreamer to Christian’s see-saw kick thing in the corner. He turns it into a neckbreaker!!!
Again Dreamer is able to counter one of Christian’s signature moves, this time just by dodging a dive on the outside, sending Christian crashing to the floor.
Dreamer is really made to look like a true champ in this match lol, constantly countering Christian at every turn. No matter what Captain Charisma does, Dreamer seems to have an answer.
Oh yey, here it comes. ECW taunt before that low dropkick. STOP IT.
As the match goes on, it seems that FATTY DREAMER doesn’t quite have the stamina of Christian, allowing Christian to finally begin to mount some decent offence without Dreamer countering him at every turn. And with Dreamer tiring, Christian can finally hit his signature move-set and begin to set Dreamer up for a possible Killswitch.
Christian is one again the ECW Champion!!! And my Champion too . Only a true GOAT can get a great match out of Tommy Dreamer!
CAL SCALE – 2
JERISHOW INTERVIEW~! They aren’t friends, they are BUSINESS PARTNERS. Big Show goes to shake Jericho’s hand, but Jericho ends up grabbing the mic instead and Show ends up having to improvise and slap Todd’s arm instead .
Jack Swagger Vs Carlito Vs Primo Vs MVP Vs The Miz Vs Kofi Kingston – WWE United States Championship Match
Fuck me, look at the sheer UNTALENTED people in this match. Swagger is worlds above EVERYONE ELSE in this thing.
Primo is the replacement for Big Show who was originally part of the match. He and Carlito must have split up now because apparently Primo wants to kill Carlito.
2nd PPV title defence for Kofi, and the second time it’s been a multi-man match. Almost like nobody trusts him in a singles match on PPV .
Oh ffs. Seriously, EVERY TIME the US title is on the line, Cole tells us about all the Hall of Famers who have won it, and gives us a fucking list. Yeah, Steve Austin and Ric Flair are two former US champs, so maybe is Primo wins here he’ll be a future HOF’er and a GOAT. Fucking morons.
GUT WRENCH POWERBOMB~! Swagger almost wins the US title right there, but stupid Carlito has to break up the count. Fuck you, Carlito. I hope you choke on that apple .
Man, Swagger is rocking this match. Taking guys out, avoiding crazy dives, and hitting a double powerbomb in the corner while the two guys getting powerbombed were doing a superplex. He’s like the Regal of the 4 way US title match from the last PPV!
Also, oh hey, Miz is in this match . He’s barely fucking done anything .
Carlito and Primo almost try to get back on the same page but… Swagger fucks it up for em . Swagger is the BOSS here tonight!
Primo hits the Backstabber on his brother and gets a Trouble in Paradise to the back of the head for his troubles, and Kofi retains. Bah.
Swagger was all over this match and carried it by himself. Impressive as fuck. Yet Kofi is the one to win.
CAL SCALE – 1
Michelle McCool Vs Melina – WWE Women’s Championship Match
Rematch from THE BASH? Sure, why not!
SPEAR~! Melina wasting no time here.
MATRIX~! Melina now stealing Trish’s move .
ARM DRA… Well, she tried an Arm Drag .
Melina quite literally kicking the shit out of Michelle, until she ends up missing a Mark Henry type running Guillotine moves in the ropes and crashes to the floor.
Always hilariously awesome to see Melina taking a submission move involving the legs because she can bend them in ways I didn’t think were possible .
STANDING DDT ON THE BARRICADE~! Well damn, that was awesome! And not something you’d normally expect from a women’s match! Shame Melina basically no sells it right after .
Who needs Sasha Banks Vs Bayley or whoever else when we’ve got SCREAMING MELINA and MICHELLE MCUNDERTAKER!!!
Lots of hard hitting KICKS in this one too .
Plus some great unique offence from both women! This is one hell of a match, and surpassing their good BASH match too!
Holy fuck at that Belly to Belly from McCool. Looked better than any of Shamrock’s belly to belly’s!
Quick counter cradle allows McCool to get the win here, and she just barely makes it out with her title!
CAL SCALE – 2
Randy Orton Vs Triple H Vs John Cena – WWE Championship Match
Oh boy. Any combination of these three wrestlers is rarely good. But I seem to recal somewhat enjoying their WM 24 match, so I’m hoping this will at least be fun.
Orton starts off by sliding out of the ring, but HHH and Cena work together to chase him back in. They aren’t gonna spend time going after each other while Orton stands and watches. They’ll work together-ish to maul Orton and THEN turn their attention on each other. No bullshitty “yey babyfaces are all friends” stuff, just two guys with equal hate for Orton and are willing to leave each other alone for the time being.
Cena ends up being launched off the apron and collides with HHH, allowing Orton to finally take a breather and gain some sort of control in this triple threat match. Yey, we get a bit of Orton Vs Cena one on one for a while…
Fuck me I just remembered that Orton and Cena still have more matches to come on PPV this year . Oh god one of them is an hour long iron man match isn’t it? Only a handful of shows left and I’ll have finished a full DECADE of WWE PPV’s… and it’s gonna take everything I have to make it through to the end .
Huh, HHH and Orton are in the ring together now. Where the fuck did Cena go? And where did HHH come from? HOW DID I MISS THAT?
Cena does that top rope leg drop to BOTH men… but manages to COMPLETELY MISS BOTH MEN . The fans immediately boo .
Urgh, HHH and Cena end up in the ring alone and try for a big staredown, with Cena looking around at the crowd just BEGGING them to try and see this as a big deal, but nobody does . Almost like the Cena/Orton moment in one of the Royal Rumble matches .
Orton pulls HHH off Cena to prevent him from potentially winning the title. LOL, like ONE finisher is gonna end the match .
Orton gets thrown off the announce table into the crowd and nearly kills a couple of people .
Super smart Cena locks in the STFU on HHH. On the announce table. In a match where you can only win in the ring. Almost as bad as him trying to grow to apply the hold to Big Show…
Oh man how awesome an angle would that have been? Cena/Show building up to their submission match with Cena having a bunch of vignettes showing him trying to grow, by stretching, standing in a flowerpot and getting watered etc . RATINGS GOLD~!
Randy’s balls get squished on the ropes, allowing Cena to apply the STFU INSIDE THE RING this time. HHH holds on long enough to pull a retarded face and attempt a PUNT to break things up, but Cena moves. The hold was still broken though!
Yey Orton is now stomping both Cena and HHH nonstop for about a minute. Exciting.
SHARPSHOOTER AND CROSSFACE APPLIED TO ORTON AT THE SAME TIME~!
THE REFEREE IS CONFUSED AS FUCK~!
LEGACY SHOW UP TO ATTACK CENA AND HHH~!
THE REFEREE IS CONFUSED AS FUCK~!
Cena is about to AA Cody, but Orton hits the RKO and Cody falls on top of Cena! Orton retains his title.
So overall this match was… not bad/awful or anything, but nothing to make me call it particularly good. It’s watchable and nothing more.
CAL SCALE – 0.5
Mickie James Vs Maryse – WWE Divas Championship Match
I’m a Mickie James fan, but I don’t think I care enough about seeing a Maryse match…
CAL SCALE – -1
Rey Mysterio Vs Dolph Ziggler – WWE Intercontinental Championship Match
Well, I always like Rey, and I was getting behind Ziggler at the time, so hopefully I can still enjoy a matchup between the two .
I wonder what Cole and Lawler are talking about in the background… Lawler just pointed to his heart, then over at JR and they both started laughing.
TURNBUCKLE POWERBOMB~! And no old men were injured!!!
Does Ziggler do that hand stand sleeper hold any more? I try and avoid his current matches because he seems to have completely forgotten how to have a wrestling match… but anyways, I always kinda liked that move. One of the few things he actually did to add to his “show off” character .
So fun when Rey does the spot where he gets thrown out of the ring and he slides on his stomach and flies into something on the outside, here being the announce table .
Ziggler has been focusing on the neck of Rey pretty much the entire match, so it’s nice to see that while he isn’t doing anything special, he is at least sticking to a nice simple story and executing it well. If this were 2015 he’d have hit about 8 finishers by now and kicked out of a few of Rey’s too…
The crowd have been DEAD for most of this match btw. In fact they’ve been pretty dead for most of the night, only getting excited for big spots and shit.
A well timed DROPKICK to counter Rey coming off the ropes adds a potential stomach injury to Mysterio aside from the neck, and Dolph takes advantage of that with a Malenko-like SUPER GUT BUSTER!!!
And then about 20 seconds after Rey kicks out of that… he’s hit the 619 and a splash for the win .
Finish just came out of nowhere, and was kinda disappointing. Match isn’t special, but it’s a solid showing from both men, and reminded me that Ziggler wasn’t always an utterly useless spot reliant fuck.
CAL SCALE – 1
CM Punk Vs Jeff Hardy – World Heavyweight Championship Match
Let’s hope this one is better than their THE BASH match, which was dull as fuck outside of like 2 spots.
Punk trying to chain wrestler is hilarious to watch because he ain’t exactly smooth at it .
Nice roll reversal of sorts here with PUNK diving out of the ring and crashing and burning, rather than Jeff doing it.
Aaaaand then Jeff crashes and burns too .
Welp, this is dull too. Punk works over Jeff after the crash and burn… Hardy makes a comeback… crowd don’t care and neither do I.
Finally, something fun happens when Jeff misses a Swanton, and Punk capitalises with a double arm backbreaker right into a Dragon Sleeper . Though honestly Jeff should have tapped out there imo.
Punk lets Jeff get up and begins to hit numerous strikes, only to get a Twist of Fate out of nowhere!!!
COUNTERED WITH KNEES~!
HARDY KICKS OUT~!
Punk cannot believe that Jeff is still going… so he decides “fuck it”, grabs his belt and tries to leave!
Hardy drags Punk’s hobo arse back into the ring, hits the Twist of Fate and a Swanton Bomb, and we have a NEW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!!!
Wow, I’m actually shocked! I thought Punk retained in this match lol!!!
First half of this match is dull as shit, but once they start hitting the big moves and whatnot it actually picks up and gets interesting, and you are on the edge of your seat wondering when the finish will actually come. Not knowing Hardy won was also a good surprise for me with the finish too lol.
So like… pretty much this entire show, the match wasn’t awful, but wasn’t anything to really write home about.
CAL SCALE – 2
Overall CAL SCALE – 8