Author: Big Cal

WWF Unforgiven 2001

I WILL NEVER FORGIVE YOU!!!

The Hardy Boys Vs The Hurricane & Lance Storm Vs Spike Dudley & The Big Show Vs The Dudley Boys – WWF Tag Team Championship Elimination Match

 how fucking RANDOM is the team of Hurricane and Storm… WAIT I JUST GOT IT!!!  (totally serious btw, I only JUST got it when I typed that out  ).

Big Show and Jeff Hardy knock the Dudleys off the apron before they can make it into the ring. Show goes out after them while Jeff looks like he’s gonna follow… then doesn’t. Then the other babyfaces just kinda stand and watch Big Show attack both Dudley Boys on his own .

 Bubba gets in with Spike, and starts to line himself up for a big elbow drop… then just stops, walks over to Spike and STANDS ON HIS HEAD. What a PRICK .

HURRICANE WITH THE HURRICAPE! OMG HE JUST FLEW!

Spike dives off of Show’s shoulders to the outside. Looks impressive. Then BIG SHOW points at the corner and starts to climb!!! Then Bubba cuts him off .

HURRICANE GONNA CHOKESLAM THE BIG SHOW!!! Or not. Storm gets a chokeslam though, and there go the New Natural Disasters.

Wanna play a game? It’s called “guess who the referee is for this FOUR TEAM ELIMINATION TAG MATCH”. Answers can be sent on the back of a postcard to

PO BOX Obvious
Wrestling Answer
Duhville
Who Else But Teddy Long
WWE 123

Spike just got pinned while I wrote that. Nobody cares.

Just found the gif for this ramble:

 at Teddy Long taking a stupid amount of time to go for a cover before he was waiting for Jeff to climb the ropes. Then Jeff breaks up the count with a Swanton to D-Von’s LEGS.

Those DAMN DUDLEYS get the win with a BUBBA BOMB.

Match is alright. Nothing special, nothing bad.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STEPHANIE (fap fap) is OFFERING HER SERVICES to RVD tonight. She wants to know if she can help in ANY way. He turns her down. The fuck is up with him? He high or something? Actually he probably is…

KURT ANGLE’S MUM. ERIC ANGLE. ANGLE’S FAMILY. LOOK AT HOW MUCH IT LOOKS LIKE I CARE BECAUSE I’M WRITING IN CAPS. WAIT NOT ERIC ANGLE, THIS IS DAVE. DAVE ANGLE.

Perrty Saturn Vs Raven

This match has come about because Raven and Terri killed Moppy. THEY KILLED MOPPY! THOSE BASTARDS!!!

“THE MAN IS FIGHTING OVER THE MEMORY OF A MOP!”

Somewhat decent brawl match thingy. Saturn wins. Moppy is still dead. Who cares?

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

Edge Vs Christian – WWF Intercontinental Championship Match

CHRISTIAN! CHRISTIAN! AT LAST! YOU’RE ON! YOU’RE OWN!!!

Edge is angry. Lots of HATE~! and then Christian makes him look retarded by getting him to charge full steam ahead at him in the corner, only for Christian to move and Edge to smash into the ring post. LOL.

Edge is bleeding and I don’t know why. Nothing has happened to warrant blood, so must have happened the hard way by accident. But fuck knows when lol.

Match seems far too back and forth-y to me, but not in a “they are brothers and know each other so well” way. Just a “oh look Edge is in control. And now Christian is in control. Back to Edge” kinda way.

Christian goes for a Conchairto. Edge sweeps out his legs, then goes got it himself, only for the referee to take the chair away. Christian low blows Edge with the other chair, and WINS THE IC CHAMPIONSHIP!

Well this kinda sucked. Can’t say I ever thought they had much chemistry as opponents tbh. Never liked this match much, don’t think anything to their ladder match (I’ll get to that soon), and didn’t even think their Raw… 2010(?) match was anything special either.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

The Undertaker & Kane Vs Kronik – WCW Tag Team Championship Match

Fuck, thought this match happened at No Mercy. Thought I was gonna be able to avoid it for a little while still .

CRUSH & ADAM BOMB VS UNIBOMB & MEAN MARK CALLOUS.

Weird seeing Undertaker holding the WCW tag belts.

 with the exception of a few punches and kicks (but certainly not all of them…), Kronik seem to fuck up EVERYTHING they do. It all looks terrible. Either fake as shit or botched to hell or both.

This isn’t TERRIBLE or “worst match ever” kind of bad, just dull when Kronik are in control, and filled with hilarious botches thanks to Kronik . Undertaker getting legitimately fucked off towards the end is awesome.

Steven Richards stuff after the match is awesome at least.

Rating: 1/2*
CAL SCALE – 0

STEPHANIE (fap fap fap fap fap) backstage looking for RVD to once again tell him that his experience in the Alliance with be a pleasurable one if he beats Jericho tonight. I like how STEPHANIE asks COACH, a WWF guy, where RVD’s locker room is and they both act like the very best of friends .

RVD Vs Chris Jericho – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

Hardcore title match .

They do a bunch of mat work early on, all basic stuff but looks good I guess. Doesn’t really do anything or mean anything though. I did have to laugh at Jericho having to tell the referee to COUNT at one point. Another reason Jericho hates Tim White…

Jericho smashes RVD’s arm into the ring post 3 times in a row, then suplexes him ON A LADDER. 10 seconds later RVD has enough strength in his arm and shit to counter another suplex on the ladder into his own. Good old RVD…

 at Tim White running over when Jericho looks to try for the Walls, just because at the same time RVD’s shoulders are down and he doesn’t want Jericho to scream at him again .

KICK TO THE FACE. Jericho is busted open. I swear he’s the third person so far on this show to bleed around the eye somewhere lol.

 at RVD purposely bending over on top of the ladder so Jericho can throw the chair into his face. WALLS OF JERICHO ON THE LADDER~! The bump RVD takes off the ladder to the outside afterwards looks more impressive tbh. As does Jericho’s bump off the ladder into the barricade when RVD moves!

Pfft, RVD, what a pussy. Gets his hands up on a suicide dive when Jericho holds up a chair. Benoit never got his hands up and look how he turned out!

ARMBAR~!

STEPAHNIE FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP. She comes down to help RVD, Jericho nearly decks her with a chair (what a CUNT btw), but she ducks and RVD kicks him in the face. 5 Star Frog Splash and STEPHANIE gets an early birthday present!

This is really good overall. Couple of dodgy bits here and there, but nothing to ruin the match. Glad this held up because I liked it a lot on my last watch.

Rating: ***1/2
CAL SCALE – 3

The Rock Vs Booker T & Shane McMahon – WCW Championship Match

Urgh. The Rock. Urgh. Booker T. Yey. Shane McMahon.

RIC FLAIR MENTION. All downhill from here .

Booker and Rock do stuff in the ring and it kinda sucks. Shane keeps attacking Rock on the outside and it kinda rocks. This should have been Shane Vs Rock. Would have been good probably.

 at Rock trying to take a snapmare.  at Booker T having some kind of a fit while setting up a knee drop. Christ these guys SUCK. And they ain’t doing nothing to change my opinion in this match lol.

Bah, they set up the Shane elbow off the ropes through a table spot but Rock fucks that up and we don’t see it. People’s Champion my arse. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT WE WANT. WE WANT TO SEE YOU GO THROUGH A TABLE AND DIE.

Shane decks Booker with the WCW belt by mistake. Then hits Rock. Shane might make mistakes but he sure makes up for it! 

KIP UP BY SHANE~!

TEST~! He fucking decks Rock to break up a People’s Elbow attempt (woo) then levels him with a Big Boot. BRADSHAW~! He chases after Test. NICK PATRICK~! The referee actually drags Rock back in the ring . No bias in this match!

Mike Cheoda (fuck knows how you spell his name) drags Shane off The Rock during a cover! He’s a fair and impartial referee! Then he takes out Nick! Then Booker T takes him out! Rock Bottom. Down comes Earl Henber and he counts the 3.

Shane and the referee stuff were literally the best parts of this match. More Shane was needed to make this match good though. Booker stunk up the joint and Rock was his usual shitty self too. He and Booker did not mix well. Shane stops this being THAT bad though. Terrible for a major title match, but a decentish match overall I guess.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

STACY KEIBLER IN THE BATH FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Rhyno Vs Tajiri – WCW United States Championship

 Totally didn’t remember this was on this show!!!

My god Tajiri’s kicks are epic.

My god Rhyno’s spinebuster is epic.

 at Torrie (fap fap) trying to run in heels, pretty sure she actually hurts herself.

GORE TO TORRIE… STOPPED BY A KICK TO THE FUCKING FACE BY TAJIRI. Now THAT was EPIC.

GORE! GORE! GORE!

This one is over. Rhyno becomes the NEW United States Champion! Second best match of the night so far lol… with one more to go . Tons of fun and some ungodly kicks.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Steve Austin Vs Kurt Angle – WWF Championship Match

Awesome video package for this match. Build up was great. Though Angle needs to take better care of his Medals. He got them stolen TWICE in 2001.

Their SummerSlam match was epic (god I can’t wait to watch that again  ). This match is in Angle’s hometown. His family are in the front row. This isn’t too long after the September 11 attack. Angle is the AMERICAN HERO. I wonder who is gonna win…

SD just days before, Austin gave Angle a PILEDRIVER ON THE CONCRETE. Angle showed up at the end of the show to say he couldn’t be stopped. And he’s showing zero effects so far in this match. And you know what? I DON’T GIVE A FUCK. Because the whole angle was just done fantastically and didn’t come across as the big babyface no selling shit and being all superman. I know, crazy right? WWE CAN actually book babyfaces strong without them turning into some generic superman character!

Angle is on FIRE early on, just destroying Austin. Then after a superplex we see Angle hold his neck, showing signs that he might not be 100%. And I like that he started showing pain in the neck there because it was the first move that would actually do damage to it.

Man, Angle is ALL OVER Austin for a large portion of the first half of this one. Beating the shit out of Austin. Throwing Austin off the stage, and then a great callback to SS by smashing Austin face first into the ring post a few times. And then he rips up the mat to expose the concrete floor, but Austin knows exactly what’s about to happen so he charges at Angle and takes him out. He don’t want no Piledriver on the floor! He does however take a back body drop on the floor, then Angle follows up with HEATBUTTS~! Pretty sure Angle busted Austin open the HARD WAY with those.

Angle ends up taking a back body drop on the concrete too and he takes it like a MAN… which makes one SICK fucking sound as his spine cracks on the floor. Now THAT is one hell of a way to transition into Austin’s control segment.

Is this NO DQ? No Countout? Because they’ve been battling outside of the ring for like, 10 minutes now .

Damn. DDT by Angle and Austin rolls out to the floor… and lands HARD on the concrete. Methinks he might have forgotten about the exposed concrete down there .

STUNNER TO AUSTIN!

PILEDRIVER TO ANGLE! Best Piledriver near fall of the decade… until that ROH (I think) match between… 2 guys I can’t remember. SHUT UP IT DOES EXIST. Someone will remind me.

Angle just won’t give up though, and after surviving the Piledriver, he counters a Stunner into the Ankle Lock and AUSTIN TAPS OUT! NEW WWF CHAMPION!!!

Great match, yet still doesn’t hold a candle to their SS encounter. 

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

Overall CAL SCALE – 12

King of the Ring 2001

‘TAKER, I’M BEGGING YA… MAKE ME FAMOUS!!!

I don’t think I’ve ever been happier knowing that the main event here is an uneventful triple threat (based on last viewing of course). Why? Because for some reason I had it in my head that this was the KOTR with Undertaker Vs HHH .

PPV kicks off with DDP’s music playing (how the fuck did he get someone to do that btw lol?) and him running through the crowd into the ring. He wants to let Undertaker know that he has arrived. New drinking game: take a shot every time DDP says “I mean” during this promo.

Kurt Angle Vs Christian – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

Holy mother of jebus. THAT THROW by Angle. Gonna gif that bad boy:

Some pretty loud “Let’s go Angle” chants. Cheering Angle over Christian? MONSTERS!!!

Well I can’t blame em. I was high on Kurt during this time. I still like a bulk of his 2001 work too. Just the Benoit stuff that is EXTREMELY hit and miss lol.

Match is… solid. Nothing more really until the finishing stretch. Angle gets the Ankle Lock on Christian, so Christian literally CRAWLS OVER THE REFEREE to reach the ropes . Sweet Angle Slam counter into the UNPRETTIER, then SHANE MCMAHON pulls Christian out and allows Angle to win this match and advance to the KOTR Finals! Why? To make sure Angle will have already wrestled 2 matches before their street fight later tonight.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

KURT ANGLE HAS BUTT IMPLANTS. Non PG signs = .

Edge Vs Rhyno – King of the Ring Semi Final Match

I miss Rhyno. I miss Rhyno as hardcore champion. I miss the hardcore title. I miss hardcore matches. This should have been a hardcore title match. Who is the hardcore champion at this time?

Rhyno should have won KOTR. I mean, did it REALLY do anything for Edge? The Invasion Angle pretty much began at this show with Booker T showing up in the main event, so everything was focused there. Then E&C broke up so Edge feuded with Christian. Then he won the IC title and feuded with Regal. All these things could have and probably would have been done regardless of the KOTR victory. Rhyno winning KOTR could have kept him around in a more active role. Plus, the WWF KOTR winner in the Alliance? Could have been something to work off too.

These two go back to when they were first getting into the business and know each other really well, and work really well together too. Some really good stuff from the two. Edge busts out some shit he doesn’t usually do and Rhyno looks like a threat to win the KOTR.

SPEAR! GORE! AT THE SAME TIME! HEADBUTT EACH OTHER! Man, we need duelling Spear spots more often. Big Show uses a sort of spear, and Reigns uses a spear. Imagine those two crashing into each other? 

An exposed turnbuckle that Rhyno tried to use ends up being his downfall, and one DDT later sees Edge as the winner. Good stuff.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

The Dudley Boys Vs Spike & Kane – WWF Tag Team Championship Match

Urgh, Dudleys Vs Spike feud. God, Spike sucked so bad. Was he ever good? And yey, Kane is in this match. Which means no IC title match on the card. WHAT A GREAT USE OF KANE.

 at Bubba launching Spike into Kane… only for Kane to catch him and lob him back, where poor Bubba isn’t strong enough to stay on his feet.

Spike is at least amusing to see get killed. Bubba powers him around like a little bitch. D-Von… well he does stuff too I’m sure. Tag to Kane. He kills D-Von with a punch. A nasty looking punch though. Really nasty. So nasty it looks like D-Von is out of it lol.

Oh hey, just noticed Teddy is the ref. CLOUD NINE FOR TEDDY LONG.

I swear the ONLY things Spike adds to this match is being lobbed around like a loser. I mean that in a good way, though.

3-D and Spike loses. Table comes out and Kane puts Bubba through it.

Entertaining enough.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Edge – King of the Ring Finals Match

Angle tries to convince Edge to lay down for him so Edge doesn’t have to get his BUTT KICKED by Angle, and Angle can rest up for his street fight later. For some reason Edge doesn’t go along with it.

OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY OVER THE ROPES!

Edge’s ribs or something near there be injured going into this match after Rhyno gave him a good going over in their previous match. So Angle’s crazy suplex offence kinda works here and… oh wait, sleeper. GOTTA GET THAT SLEEPER HOLD IN. Ok, that works too given Edge’s “injury” but still. YAWNATHON.

Pretty awesome sequence going from an Angle Slam attempt into a DDT attempt into an Ankle Lock attempt into a pin.

CHRISTIAN! He’s here to help Edge, but it doesn’t work so he just goes back up the ramp lol.

REF BUMP~! ANKLE LOCK~! TAP OUT~! Angle is technically a two time KOTR winner. But of course the ref never saw it. SHANE~! SPEAR~! DDT~! EDGE IS THE KING OF THE RING.

This was decent. Just found myself with bugger all to write about lol. Was standard stuff for the most part, but easy to sit through.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Jeff Hardy Vs X-Pac – WWF Light Heavyweight Championship Match

Remember when Jeff was the LH champ? Me either.

FULLY LOADED advertised as the next PPV. LIES!

FLIPS! SPINS! JUMPS!

You know that spot where Jeff runs on the barricade and dives onto his opponent? Kinda seems pointless if he has to stop for balance before he jumps .

 X-Pac grabbing the ropes during an abdominal stretch. He starts bumping and grinding for added leverage and Jeff is screaming like a bitch and it just looks like RAPE to me.

Jeff gets his own back for the RAPE by straddling the corner with his nuts in X-Pac’s face, then takes off his shirt. So X-Pac hits the X-Factor and gets the win! Bah, Jeff’s foot was on the ropes. Match continues.

Sweeeeet counter to avoid the X-Factor a second time.

Swanton, and Jeff wins. Which actually surprised me because I thought X-Pac was winning lol. This was… fun. That is all.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Undertaker Vs DDP

Don’t care if this is technically a match or not. It was a heavily built FIGHT for the PPV so I’m treating it as such.

Undertaker has been playing mind games with Page all night, showing footage of DDP in the same way DDP was showing footage of Sara. Eventually when Page snaps Undertaker decides to come out and give him the beating he deserves. Undertaker takes his time coming down to the ring, even stopping to put on his VINTAGE~! MMA style gloves. PAGE GONNA GET GOT!

Page gets his face caved in as you might expect. He gets a low blow in and a couple of punches, then Undertaker gets back in control. SARA shows up to film the whole thing on a handheld camera. She would later get sued by WWE for recording a PPV illegally .

 the time keeper dies.

STEEL CHAIR TO UNDERTAKER~!

SPEAR TO PAGE OVER THE ANNOUNCE TABLE~!

“THIS IS YOUR CHANCE TO BE FAMOUS BITCH. I HOPE YOU LIKE IT”

Huge boot to the face and DDP fucks off. He don’t need this crap!

I like this. Undertaker destroys someone. What’s NOT to love?

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Kurt Angle Vs Shane McMahon – Street Fight

SPEAR! What a way to start this match, especially after all the SPEARS we’ve seen already tonight and the fact I watched about 15 minutes of SPEAR compilation videos earlier .

Oh man, Angle just thows Shane around for the first minute. Oh man, then Shane’s little comeback is SPECTACULAR. Busts angle open above the eye and in the mouth. Awesome.

Love how Angle uses his overhead belly to belly suplex as a “revenge” move almost here. He hates Shane and wants to fuck him up. SUPLEX~! And it actually works because Angle delivers it wonderfully and Shane really goes the extra mile himself taking it.

SHANE IS BLEEDING TOO.

The amateur wrestling spots are great too. Angle dares Shane to try him, Shane goes for it and gets mauled. Angle lets him try again, so Shane kicks the fuck out of him because he’s not THAT stupid.

“Shane leaping right over is, RIGHT INTO KURT ANGLE’S FACE!”

 I think Shane just SPEARED Angle’s leg.

 Shane falls over trying to lock in a Sharpshooter. Still looks better than Rocks .

SHOOTING STAR PRESS ONTO A TRASH CAN. HOLY SHIT. Shane didn’t even land on his head. Shane > Lesnar.

Speaking of Shane landing on his head… holy FUCK how did Angle not legit KILL Shane with those suplex attempts? Apparently (according to Angle, so fuck knows if it’s true) they put the wrong glass in, so instead of the “easy to break” stuff… it was just actual glass. And much harder to break. So Angle just had to keep throwing Shane anyway .

But yeah, this whole thing looks spectacular. The first suplex through the glass is amazing, then Angle has to resort to just throwing Shane through the second bit, which cuts both of them to fucking SHREDS. Mega probs to Shane for taking all this shit. And even Angle too because his back and arm are FUCKED UP.

SUPER ANGLE SLAM USING A WOODEN BOARD TO HELP~!

Great finish. Great match. So brutal. Love it. Shane’s best match, one of Kurt’s best matches. Fuck those cunts who hate this (Yes, you. I remember that you shit on this match you whore!).

Rating: ****1/2
CAL SCALE – 7

Steve Austin Vs Chris Jericho Vs Chris Benoit – WWF Championship Match

So, if HHH didn’t get injured… would this have been a 4 way? A tag with everything on the line like Backlash? Or would just one of them (Benoit hopefully) have gotten a title match with the other (Jericho, duh) going up against HHH?

“Rumours” all night going around that if Benoit or Jericho win the title tonight they are defecting to WCW. You know, WCW. That company that is literally just a logo and a few guys on contracts. No shows or anything. BUT THEY NEED A CHAMPION. LOL.

AUSTIN GETTING KNIFE EDGED TO DEATH~!

Urgh. This is dull. Just a lot of stomping in the corner. Then Jericho gets suplexed out of the ring and disappears for about 10 minutes while Benoit and Austin do… absolutely nothing noteworthy beyond Benoit hitting Austin with a Stunner, and the revelation that Austin can’t take his own finisher properly .

Austin tries for a Walls of Jericho on Jericho but Jericho knows how to block it, and fuck, Austin ends up going head first into the mat and you can see he’s pissed as he smashes his fist onto the mat. STUPID, STUPID! 

And we’re back to dull again.

Benoit brings in a chair. “THIS IS NOT A NO DQ MATCH!”. He decks Jericho by accident. Ref doesn’t give a shit. LOL.

Austin starts superplexing Jericho from all the corners, but gets stopped by Benoit on the third. Always liked that little spot in Jericho and Austin’s singles match at NWO 02.

Austin taps out! To BOTH Benoit and Jericho at the same time. So uhh… both are champions? They did it with the IC title in 2000. Why not the WWF Title in 2001? 

BOOKER T! He attacks Austin and puts him through a table, and injures Austin, something I didn’t know about until the Austin doc last year (or the year before? I dunno)! Way to go Booker, not only do you suck but you just injured the top guy in WWF.

Worst. Lionsault. Ever.

MOONSAULT by Jericho. Not often we see that. You know, Lionsault aside which is essentially a moonsault.

BACK SUPERPLEX. BYE BYE BENOIT’S NECK.

Never realised that the suplex that takes Benoit’s neck out happens right at the very end of the match. He hits the move, he doesn’t move, Austin covers him and that’s that.

Bulk of this match is soooo fucking dull. Had its moments no doubt but overall kinda blows. Hard.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 11

Judgment Day 2001

JUDGMENT DAY IS UPON US!

William Regal Vs Rikishi

Yep, Rikishi is face now. After running Austin over and all that shit not that long ago lol.

But this is wrestling, and apparently one stink face to Stephanie and the fans forgave him for nearly killing their favourite wrestler at the time. And then for trying to do the same to The Rock. But Austin is heel now so who cares about that, right? And Rock isn’t around atm so fuck him too. LET’S ALL CHEER RIKISHI AGAIN YEY!!!

 Regal got SWAG when he avoids being crushed by Rikishi. He does a cocky little dance with a smirk on his face then boots the Kish in the back for good measure.

STINK FACE~! EXTRA SUPER LONG STINK FACE~!

 at Regal’s reaction 

Then Regal gets his head smashed into the steps and a superkick to the face and he his BUSTED WIDE OPEN. Side steps a splash in the corner, hits that cross arm neck breaker thingy and gets the win! Go Regal!

Short, but hilariously fun.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Kurt Angle Vs Chris Benoit – 2 out of 3 Falls Match for Kurt Angle’s Gold Medals – First Fall Pin Only. Second Fall Submission Only. Third Fall Ladder Match

HOLD ON MEDALS COS DADDY’S COMING FOR YA!

DIVING HEADBUTT BY ANGLE! He misses. ANGLE SLAM BY BENOIT! He hits it and gets the win. First fall is over in about 2 minutes lol.

Balls. Benoit no longer has any after Angle SMASHES THEM into the ring post. Ouch. I’d submit from that lol.

Some fun little sequences on the mat as both men go for their signature submissions and keep countering each other.

Angle is a moron for the most part in this fall. Keeps throwing out suplexes and shit. Meanwhile Benoit is constantly trying to apply a submission hold.

WALLS OF JERICHO BY BENOIT~! EPIC FORESHADOWING TO LATER TONIGHT WHEN *SPOILER* BENOIT TEAMS WITH JERICHO~!

What to Benoit and The Miz have in common? THEY BOTH SUCK AT FIGURE FOUR LEG LOCKS. Good GOD, Benoit’s is terrible . It’s so fucked up that when Angle tries to turn it over to apply the pressure to Benoit’s leg… Benoit is still somehow on his back while Angle is on his belly . HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?!?!

So Benoit spends most of the second fall applying different submission holds and always looking for the submission win. Angle hits random suplexes, then an Angle Slam, then the Ankle Lock and Benoit suddenly taps out. Uhhh… what?

Ladder match time. Great advice by Edge earlier. Falling off sucks, so don’t do it!

 Angle gets the shittiest looking ladder ever out. Looks smaller than the average ladder, and looks like some crap they’d pull out from under the ring at a UK PPV (if you remember my 2000 review of either Rebellion or Insurrextion I mentioned how cheap and shitty the weapons looked compared to the standard American ones lol).

Wow, this might be the dullest ladder match ever. Little happened. E&C show up and distract Benoit while Angle gets back his Gold Medals.

2 out of 3 falls it might officially be, but 3 stages of hell it was.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Undertaker threatens Regal and forces him to make the title match tonight No Holds Barred. Now poor Regal has to inform Austin!

Oh hey, Jerry Lynn. He’s the Light Heavyweight Champion. And at WWF New York. He says he should be there defending the title. Don’t think he’s around for much longer. WWF didn’t do SHIT with him.

Test Vs Rhyno Vs The Big Show – Hardcore Championship Match

HARDCORE TITLE MATCH . Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!

 Rhyno gets buried by the steel steps.

Rhyno nearly goes through a wall. Awesome. Big Show gets knocked off a ledge and onto a stack of pallets!

With Show taken out, Rhyno and Test get back to the ring and things can get super fun with all the crazy weapons .

Oh shiiiit, Big Show is back! GORE! GORE! GORE!

TRASH CAN LID~!

GORE! GORE! GORE! GORE THROUGH A TRASH CAN! GORE! Big Show is dead. Rhyno retains the title.

Fun match. Not the best hardcore title match we’ll see, but still solid.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 at Regal trying to build up the courage to tell Austin about the NHB stip.

LITA FAP FAP FAP. She’s on the floor with her legs spread and oh GOD FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Eddie Guerrero shows up. Remember when he was tring to kinda be babyface and friendly with the Hardy Boys? Shame that never went anywhere because… well you know. Drugs and shit.

Regal finally tells Austin. Austin doesn’t give a shit. Regal doesn’t need to have a shit.

Chyna Vs Lita – WWF Women’s Championship Match

“AMAZING OVATION FOR LITA!” Well I’m certainly standing up for her. While sitting down. WINK WINK NUDGE NUDGE FAP FAP.

 JR claims that Heyman would look good in the outfit Chyna is wearing, especially in some of the places he does in new York (implying Heyman cross dresses lol). So Heyman without delay says he actually leant Chyna the outfit. God I love Heyman. Not as much as I love LITA.

HUG~! The match starts with a hug.

Fun stuff to start with both trying to outdo the other. And then Chyna decks LITA with an elbow to the face. Ouch.

SPANK ME LITA. Someone stole my sign, I see…

This match all came about because Chyna claimed there was no challenges for her in the women’s division. Lita made a challenge and this match was made. So Chyna keeps showing everyone with her power that yeah, she probably doesn’t have any competition, at least in that department. Lita has to use her speed and unique offence to try and stay in the match and hopefully win the title.

Chyna keeps trying to destroy LITA but LITA is a SURVIVOR and won’t give up, forcing Chyna to keep upping her game.

In the end though, a powerbomb puts an end to Lita’s challenge and Chyna retains her belt .

A good match. I liked it. Chyna isn’t around much longer after this though, and she takes the title with her or something and we don’t see it again until Survivor Series lol.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

Triple H Vs Kane – WWF Intercontinental Championship Chain Match

So a chain match is where both guys are tied together with a chain. Bah, should have been a chain on a pole match . Undertaker gets it. He would have one in a few years time with Brock. BIKER CHAIN (ON A POLE) MATCH~!

HHH attacks Kane before the referee can attach the chain to them. He’s going after the injured arm of Kane, trying to weaken it so he can make sure that it’s THAT arm that the chain is attached to! HHH IS SMRT.

HHH keeps pulling Kane’s chain. Ha.

STEPHANIE looking FAP worthy in a business suit.

Oh man, that’s awesome. HHH grabs a chair, and Kane pulls on the chain and HHH runs into the ring post and the chair bounces off into his face . Now he’s bleeding. BLOOD~!

BIG DADDY DEADMAN. Yet another GOAT sign candidate in the crowd.

Kane is targeting the open wound on HHH’s head . Fuck attacking a limb, GET THE CUT~!

 at the facebuster. HHH just collapses and Kane is bent over too far to make it look like there was any impact.

CHAIN TO THE PENIS. Stephanie does not like that.

 poor Stephanie is crying. I’LL COMFORT YOU. WITH MY PENIS.

Austin! Steel chair to HHH by mistake! 1…2…3! New IC Champion!

So this was good. 2 guys beating each other up with a chain. Sounds perverse when I put it like that lol.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

APA Vs Perry Saturn & Dean Malenko Vs The Dudley Boys Vs X-Factor Vs The Hardy Boys Vs Chris Jericho & Chris Benoit Vs Edge & Christian – Tag Team Turmoil #1 Contendership Match

 APA starting this thing. Wish they’d last and win the entire thing. APA Vs Power Trip? I can fap to that!

SATURN THROWING THE APA AROUND. Then he gets a Spinebuster and is eliminated . APA GO THROUGH!!!

Dudleys Vs APA . Bradshaw Vs Bubba might be a dream hardcore match for me. Bradshaw was the hardcore champ on Raw in 02 during the brand split, and Bubba was a singles guy on Raw at the time too. Anyone know if they had a match? Because if they did, I’m all over that!!!

Man, I wish this was just a tag match between APA and The Dudley Boys. Give all the time just to them. Would have been epic, because it was such a tremendous little match with the time they got .

But what matters the most is that The APA go through again! Thanks to the Holly’s. D-VON THROUGH A TABLE~! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL TO BUBBA~!

A NEWLY SHAVEN X-PAC. Assuming he means his… beard? Did X-Pac have a beard? I mean, what else could he be talking ab…. EEWWWWWWW.

Bicycle Kick by Albert to Bradshaw. Dammit I hate 2 on 2 X-Factor tags. I always want Albert in the match instead of Justin “far from it” Credible.

Bah, APA are eliminated . They had a good run though. Deserve a title shot for lasting that long imo. Did they have a tag against the Power Trip on a Raw or SD around this time? They seem like the perfect pairing for HHH and Austin to beat to look more credible and legit going up against the BOD.

Hardy’s are in next. Jeff’s balls are crushed. I laugh.

“SAAAWAAANTON”

Jeff takes out Albert with a pretty awesome dive over the ropes, but that leaves poor Matty alone with Justin and X-Pac. SUPERKICK. X-Factor keep on rolling. Also, yes, X-Pac did have a beard and now it’s gone.

Jericho! And his tag team partner… CHRIS BENOIT!!!

Albert has been the best guy in X-Factor in this match lol. Guy is an absolute GAME CHANGER on the outside. He fucking KILLS Jericho right at the start. Meanwhile the referee just sort of looks over and ignore it all .

OH SWEET JEBUS. THAT REF BUMP. HOLY SHIT. I’d bet actual money that Jericho legitimately DECKED the referee with that flying forearm.

Albert continues to make a difference on the outside, jumping Benoit the moment the ref is out. DOUBLE SUPERKICK TO JERICHO! New referee! ONLY A 2 COUNT!

Double suplex to Albert! Double suplex to Credible ONTO Albert! That takes care of the big man. Crossface to Credible, Walls to X-Pac and a double tap out! Man that was a blast. Now it’s the final team, E&C!!! 

“FIGHT IT FIGHT IT FIGHT IT! COME ON, FIGHT IT!” Benoit being awesome on the apron.

Kinda wish Power Trip could have gone on longer. And HHH didn’t tear his quad too obviously. But I would have liked E&C to win this match by cheating or something and getting a shot for the belts. Could have turned them babyface to do it too. Bet that would have been super fun. Not have them win the belts obviously, but would have prolonged the tag run and given other teams the chance to work what could have been some super tag matches. Power Trip Vs E&C, APA, Dudleys, Hardys, BOD, Jericho & Benoit… hell even X-Factor. Could have made for some great TV matches, then maybe save the Jericho & Benoit match for PPV. KOTR might not have had such a terrible main event otherwise. Well unless Benoit’s neck still broke .

Man, this tag match here is going awesomely. Always did love E&C together. They worked really well with just about everyone, but then you have someone like BENOIT for them to go against? Fucks yeah. Jericho too I guess. He was good in all this for sure, even if he’s been iffy from time to time in his career .

Conchairto fails, and Benoit makes Christian tap! Yey! This whole thing was awesome. Not a single pairing failed to be anything less than good. THAT is fucking impressive for a tag team turmoil match. I liked this a TON.

Also, just checked the time of the match on Wiki. 32 minutes? Fuck, that’s awesome. Didn’t feel anywhere near that long either. 

Rating: ****
CAL SCALE – 5

Steve Austin Vs The Undertaker – WWF Championship No Holds Barred Match

Loved the build up for this match. The SD episode where Undertaker attacks Austin at ringside with the chain then throws him through a window then attacks him in the ambulance is .

Speaking of … VINCE ON COMMENTARY!!! Vince, Heyman and JR!!! Heyman sucking up to Vince and JR being JR. GOLD.

Undertaker fucking MAULS Austin for like the first 5 minutes. Austin gets NOTHING in.  at the one spot where Austin is against the guardrail and Undertaker is waiting to punch him… and waiting… and waiting… and waiting . Austin takes about 30 seconds to finally turn around and walk into the punch .

Sweet jebus, this is pretty much a fucking SQUASH match for the first 10 minutes . Undertaker is caving in Austin’s face with some AWESOME punches.

 at Undertaker stalking Vince who runs away, while Heyman is screaming “HIDE BEHIND JR, VINCE! HIDE BEHIND JR!”.

That distraction unfortunately causes the Dead Man to lose control of the match, and the WWF Champion can finally get some offence in!

Leg work from Austin is pretty good here. He does kinda sit in a leg hold, but the crowd are hot for the match still and Undertaker is always trying something to escape so it doesn’t get dull.

“HEY HEY HEY, THE SPANISH GUYS ARE OVER THERE! THAT’S MY MONITOR!”  at Heyman while Undertaker is taking apart the announce table. CHOKESLAM THROUGH THE TABLE!!!

MONITOR TO THE FACE OF UNDERTAKER. Big Daddy Deadman is BLEEDING. Austin attacks the cut . Wish he’d give it a chop though. That would take this into GOAT territory.

Austin looking like a fucking psycho while choking Undertaker on the ropes then flipping off the referee is awesome. God I loved his heel run lol. Shame Austin didn’t think highly of it because fuck he was great during this time, and he DID get the crowd to boo the shit out of him 99% of the time. I honestly don’t get how it was in any way a failure.

Oh man, that false finish the the Stunner and the flipping off and the DEFIANCE is epic. Hell, everything from that point makes for a super finishing stretch. HHH, Vince, steel chairs, sledgehammer… overkill? Maybe a tad. Awesome? Fuck yeah. Big chaotic finish to a big chaotic match. Worked perfectly for me. Loved this entire thing.

Rating: ****1/4
CAL SCALE – 6

Overall CAL SCALE – 15

Insurrextion 2001

Vince is going nuts at the start of the PPV, screaming at Regal for changing the match card for tonight. Turns out LINDA did it. IT WAS ME VINCE, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!

The card actually looks… pretty fecking good. ON PAPER. Kinda hope it does well.

Grand Master Sexay Vs Eddie Guerrero

Well, not everything can look good on paper .

Then again… GMS has the whole PANTS thing going for him, and Eddie is EDDIE. Not sure how good Eddie will be here though. One of his last matches in WWE before going to rehab and then getting released .

Hmmm… Eddie seems to be on top of things.  at him dancing like a fucking twat then kicking GMS a couple of times, only for GMS to roll him up for a near fall.

Sitout Powerbomb by GMS who falls over while doing it lol. And to think, Guerrero was the one off his tits at this time. Then again GMS got released shortly after this too now I think about it…

Eddie wins via CHEATING. Short opener, nothing special.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Perry Staturn, Dean Malenko & Terri Vs Crash, Hardcore & Molly Holly

“TRIPLE H DON’T BLOW YOUR EVER ENDING NOSE IN MY DIRECTION” Ahhh spotting awesome signs is fun .

Cole perves on Terri in a short skirt waaay too much. What a weirdo. Who does that?

Molly is pretty FAP FAP .

Oh this is now just a 2 on 2 tag because Terri isn’t in wrestling attire.

Cole claims Saturn has changed by wearing those stupid hats because he recently started dating Terri. They’ve been involved on screen for nearly a full YEAR at this point.

Huh, Molly randomly decides to stand on the apron after standing just at ringside for a few minutes. Even though she’s no longer in this match. Does anyone know what’s happening? I don’t. I have a YORKIE cookie to eat .

Damn, Saturn just CLUBS THE SHIT out of Hardcore’s head. MULTIPLE times. Saturn has a Hogan moustache. Colour and all.

 Hardcore tries to do his Alabama Slam to Saturn, but Saturn thinks its a back body drop. HE GONE FUCKED UP.

Molly keeps moving places on the apron. Even though she shouldn’t be there. WHAT IS HAPPENING?

Terri breaks up a count and the referee doesn’t call for the bell even though it’s blatant interference because SHE IS NO LONGER PART OF THE MATCH. WHAT IS FUCKING HAPPENING.

Saturn gets a northern lights suplex (I think) on Crash while everyone is busy fapping to the women and gets the win.

Aside from things NOT MAKING SENSE here and there, this is a solid tag match.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Regal is polishing his Queen’s Cup backstage. No, that’s not a euphemism.

The Big Show Vs Bradshaw

Linda cancelled Big Show Vs Test because Test is injured after getting destroyed by Big Show a couple of weeks ago. Show comes out anyway and calls Test out. Test shows up. HE’S A HERO! Show destroys him again and referees come out to save him. So Big Show claims nobody can stop him. OMG I REMEMBER WHAT HAPPENS .

BRADSHAW OF THE APA!!! (and now I can write the actual match down because I just remembered who Show faces!!!)

Big Bad Bradshaw comes down and tries to cave the giant’s face in .

Really fun FIGHT with Bradshaw having to be extra murderous in order to combat the GIANT.

Oh man, Show hits Bradshaw RIGHT IN THE FACE with a right hand. Not a WMD type punch, but a nasty, knarly, realistic kind of punch. Then he takes the referee out and goes after Test again. LOL Test sucks.

BOOT TO THE FACE WITH A CHAIR IN BETWEEN! CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL! BRADSHAW GETS THE WIN!

 FUN FUN FUN. This should have been a hardcore match. I *think* Show and Test have one at JD, right? And of course Backlash has the LMS match with Show and Shane. Show has a ton of really good hardcore type matches under his belt tbh. LMS, Street Fights, Hardcore matches, No Holds Barred etc. Lots and lots of pure fun.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Edge & Christian Vs The Hardy Boys Vs The Dudley Boys Vs X-Pac & Justin Credible – Elimination Tag Team Match

Wish Albert was in this match instead of Credible. Did you read the “report” recently that claims Albert is getting paid $400,000 a year by WWE? They offered him that to leave Japan and his $100,000 a year contract there. No wonder he doesn’t give a fuck about being Tensai and dancing with a dinosaur!

LOL at X-Pac randomly falling down and pointing at his knee to distract the referee while Albert and Credible crotch Matt on the ring post. Commentary for it is great too:

Heyman: “I think that’s gonna ruin Lita’s night”

Cole: “Pretty much”

No surprise to anyone that X-Factor are the first team eliminated. They ain’t happy so Albert and Credible attack Matt on the outside while E&C eliminate Jeff!

Down to E&C and those DAMN Dudleys!

 at Edge coming into the ring, pointing at Bubba so the referee runs over to him allowing Edge to help Christian double team D-Von. How fucking DUMB is Tim White lol? 

Your standard E&C/Dudleys tag match from this point on, but as I’ve said before, a standard match between these teams (and the Hardy Boys) is better than your average tag match. Tim White keeps doing dumb things, E&C keep cheating, then Bubba gets a hot tag and steamrolls over everyone.

Is there some unwritten rule in wrestling where anyone taking a back body drop from Bubba has to fucking LEAP in the air as high as possible? Because damn, everyone goes out of their way to kill themselves lol.

RHYNO! GORE! GORE! GORE! Bubba eats a GORE and E&C gets the win. Spike comes out to prevent Bubba going through a table, and Rhyno ends up taking a 3-D through it!

Good match.

Rating: ***14
CAL SCALE – 2

Clips of a make a wish foundation thingy that WWE attended the night before. Stephanie slaps Michael Cole. Wonder if that was someone’s wish .

Eamonn Holmes Chris Tarrant are in the crowd. THE STARS ARE OUT TONIGHT .

Steven Richards and Ivory come out to tell us that we are terrible people for having Page 3 nudity. Oh and he’s managed to get the ladies battle royal cancelled. They all come out and strip Ivory and Richards. Then beat him up. LOL.

Kurt Angle Vs Chris Benoit – 2 out of 3 Falls Match

Nothing like having a 2 out of 3 falls match on the PPV before they have a 2 out of 3 falls match on PPV! 

This one doesn’t have a ladder match though.

2 years in a row for these guys having a match at Insurrextion. Enjoyed last year’s. Wonder if this will be any good.

Benoit stole Angle’s Gold Medals last week. He’s hiding them in his crotch. CROTCH MEDALS.

 at Heyman taking the piss out of Australia during this match. Why? Because he’s PAUL FUCKING HEYMAN.

3 AMIGOS BY BENOIT!!! Sort of. First 2 are snap suplexes and he looks terrible at spinning up off the mat, then the third he drops Angle down across the ropes. But still. Did Benoit invent the 3 AMIGOS?

FLYING HEADBUTT! Benoit gets the first fall win. This has been good so far. They seemed to have their better stuff in 01 imo. They didn’t have that robotic style down yet and were a little more stiff and gritty, or at least as much as Angle could be.

Second fall gets a little dull as Angle attempts to control things, but Benoit is constantly fighting back after a boring sleeper hold nearly puts me to sleep thankfully. Some nice exchanges with Benoit getting the upperhand constantly and getting the win in the second fall, beating Angle 2 straight falls! They claim it’s because Angle is too busy thinking about his Gold Medals. His Gold Medals are in Benoit’s crotch. So is Angle thinking about Benoit penis? 

This was good. Not great, but good.

Rating: ***
CAL SCALE – 2

Chris Jericho Vs William Regal – Queen’s Cup Match

Gotta feel for Teddy Long in this one. A singles match? Really? Why couldn’t HE be the referee for the 4 team elimination match? Poor guy.

Gotta feel for anyone watching this match. It’s slooooow in a bad way, and extremely dull. Highlight was Regal doing that awesome suplex. Normally he does a half nelson suplex and turns them completely over, but here he did it as a German Suplex. Either way it makes me . Unfortunately that’s all that made me  in this one.

Jericho wins the cup.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

The Undertaker Vs Steve Austin & Triple H – WWF Championship Handicap Match

Undertaker has to pin Austin to win the WWF title, but he can still just pin HHH for the win.

Austin and HHH think they’ve got this in the bag because it’s 2 on 1. So Undertaker brings in a steel chair and the 2 Man Power Trip are shitting themselves!

LOL at HHH. Undertaker books him in the face to knock him out of the ring, but he fucks up and just slides down to the mat instead. Undertaker has to turn back and punch him in the face to knock him over the ropes. HE’S THE MICHAEL JORDAN OF THE WWE HONEST!!! 

“ASTIN SOLD OUT” sign in the crowd. Not only is it hilarious because they couldn’t spell Austin right, but they are also holding it upside down . Fucking southerners .

What the fuck was that? What? This:

 a similar situation happens with Austin about 2 minutes later .

About 10 minutes into the match and Earl decides that HHH and Austin need to tag in and out. Ok…

CHAIR SHOT~! Undertaker is now in trouble with the 2 Man Power Trip in control.

Nothing like a sleeper hold by HHH to get the fans into the match… *yawns*

Worst. Chokeslam through a table. Ever. My god, does anyone give a FUCK in this match? I’ve put more effort into going to A4E than this. Holy jebus. I’m watching an Undertaker match and I’m NOT CARING.

Vince McMahon shows up, decks HHH with a chair by accident, takes a better chokeslam than HHH did through the table earlier. HHH takes a good chokeslam finally, and Undertaker gets the win. But doesn’t win the title. Because he needed to pin Austin for that. I guess he figured with the numbers game and the fact he was bleeding and shit, he just needed to get the win over whoever he could. Still seemed dumb.

This PPV was looking good. Fun and shit. Then got dull towards the end. Does shit on the CAL SCALE mainly because the good matches weren’t good enough on the old STARS~!

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

Overall CAL SCALE – 6.5

Invasion 2001

Well, 2000 is done with for my PPV Rambles. Time to start 2001. But where to start? Gotta be INVASION for me. Most of 2001 was centred around the Invasion angle, so I think the PPV that got it rolling should be the first I watch . Besides, I’ve already seen WM 17 a few months back so bugger reviewing that AGAIN. Same for the RR .

Lance Storm & Mike Awesome Vs Edge & Christian

Lol, Storm & Awesome don’t even get an entrance on the PPV. Already in the ring . E&C interupt Storm’s attempted promo.

E&C are showing up those southern Dub See Dub hicks early on. Then Christian nearly kills himself with a dive over the ropes. Pretty much like what Lesnar did at Extreme Rules 2012 lol.

Poor Christian keeps nearly dying with some insane bumps. One off the top rope to the outside that begins the heel control segment, and then another ribs first into the ring post. But of course all this means is FIP Christian .

Mike Awesome teases us with a top rope powerbomb, but it never happens .

Holy motherfucking shit at the height Storm gets on a back body drop. Puts Jeff Hardy to shame.

Finishing stretch for this is insanely good. A ton of miscommunication spots between Edge & Christian along with miscommunication spots from Awesome & Storm provide a TON of near falls that get the crowd going crazy. Shame the rest of the match is terribly basic outside of a couple of cool spots.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

Earl Hebner Vs Nick Patrick – Special Guest Referee Mick Foley

A referee match. On PPV. And Mini Flair isn’t even in it.

Cole talking about Earl: “HERE’S A MAN WHO IS EXTREMELY LOYAL TO THE WWF!”. A few years later he would be fired for selling merch without WWE’s consent .

 I took my eye off the match for a second and saw Earl falling through the ropes and forgot there was a Ref Vs Ref match going on and assumed there was a ref bump in an actual match .

SPEAR BY EARL! Well, sort of. Not even close. But he wins anyway.

This was oddly entertaining. In a way. Prevents it being a flat out DUD at least lol.

Rating: 1/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

SARA BREAKS KAYFABE AND CALLS UNDERTAKER MARK.

Sean O’Haire & Chuck Palumbo Vs The APA

 APA. And they are the tag team champions .

 hilarious watching the buildup video with the APA rallying the troops and shit against the Alliance… and like, 90% of them are released/disappear within the next month or two.

TEDDY LONG IS THE REFEREE. TEDDY LONG SIGN IN THE CROWD.

Match starts off awesome with the APA beating the shit out of the WCW guys. Then it goes meh when Farooq is the FIP because the pace slows down and the WCW guys aren’t exactly brilliant in the ring. Hot tag to Bradshaw and things get FUN again.

CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL. APA win. Needed to be like, half as long and nothing but a brawl.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

X-Pac Vs Billy Kidman

X-Factor. Underrated group with an underrated theme song. Yeah I said it. Any faction with X-Pac and ALBERT has to be good. Justin Credible was always kinda just there.

Always makes me laugh that X-Pac was still getting booed during the Invasion. People really, really don’t like him. And I don’t know why. Guy is probably better than most people’s favourite wrestler. Casual fans at least.

X-Pac makes Kidman look like a shitty rookie by showing him up and wrestling circles around him basically… and he still gets booed .

Odd senton from X-Pac off the ropes. Kidman moves too, and X-Pac kinda falls in slow motion almost lol. Sweet X-Factor (the finisher, not the faction) counter by X-Pac.

Ha, Kidman counters the Bronco Buster with a foot to the balls.

KIDMAN WINS~! Brings the score up to 3-1 now. Fans cheer even though the WWF just lost a match. This was solid stuff.

Rating: **3/4
CAL SCALE – 1

TORRIE AND STACY TALKING ABOUT THEIR TITS AND ASSES.

OOOOOO STACE, YOU DO HAVE A FIRM ASS! (FAP FAP FAAAAAAP)

Raven Vs William Regal

Johnny Polo Vs Steve “Real Man” Regal.

Even REGAL gets a babyface reaction. Suck it, X-Pac .

 “THIS INVASION STARTED TONIGHT WHEN CHAVO GUERRERO JR GOT A BIG VICTORY OF THE WWF’S SCOTTY 2 HOTTY”  a BIG victory for Chavo Jr is beating Scotty .

“Will trade PS2 for a ride on Russian Space Shuttle”  GOAT sign ever.

Match is really slow and dull. Regal really took his time to get into the grove in WWF I think. Outside of a few matches I don’t think he really got into the swing of things until like 02.

Tazz shows up and suplexes Regal, Raven hits the DDT and this is done. Thank fuck.

Rating: 3/4*
CAL SCALE – 0

The Big Show, Billy Gunn & Albert Vs Hugh Morris, Kanyon & Shawn Stasiak

SHOW GUNNS~!

ALBERT is IC champ. I remember those days . Plus, he won it from KANE. Yeah, those fucking KANE VS ALBERT matches. 

OMG MR PERFECT! MR PERFECT HAS RETURNED!!! No wait it’s just Stasiak’s theme. Because. I dunno.

TRIPLE BODY PRESS SLAM. LOOK AT THE POWER OF THE WWF. BLATANT ACKNOWLEDGEMENT OF STASIAK GETTING BLACKBALLED FROM THE WWF IN LATE 99 FOR BEING USELESS AND SHITTY AND A CUNT.

Albert is a one man ARSE KICKING MACHINE. With a giant head.

CHARLES ROBINSON FAN CLUB. Some amazing signs in the crowd.

CHARLES ROBINSON BEST HAIR IN THE BIZ. They just keep getting better .

 Stasiak hits Sting’s finisher on Billy Gunn so Hugh Morris can pin him for the win, but the dumb bastard gets confused and is actually trying to pin Gunn himself WHILE MORRIS IS COVERING HIM .

WCW/ECW get the win but Big Show destroys everyone afterwards. 3-3 now, BUT Chavo got that BIG win on Heat earlier so technically I guess it could be 3-4 in favour of the Alliance! Booooo! Alliance suck! They not WWF!

This was mildly entertaining.

Rating: *
CAL SCALE – 0

THAT LITTLE GOB SHIT TAZZ. Regal pissed off + English swearing = .

Tajri Vs Tazz

Tajiri is Regal’s assistant or… something. And Tazz just screwed Regal out of a match. So Regal fires up Tajiri and good GOD would you really want Tajiri fucked off at you? He’d kick your face so hard… well you’d die. No fancy/funny lines there. HE’D MOTHERFUCKING KILL YOU.

I hope this only gets like 2 minutes. TAJIRI MINI-MATCHES .

First move of the match is a kick .

Tajiri kicks. Tazz suplexes. They fight on the mat MMA style.

Perhaps lasts longer than I would have liked (crazy I know), but  this was fun. GREEN MIST. KICK TO THE FACE. TAJIRI IS GOAT.

Rating: **1/2
CAL SCALE – 1

 BOB HOLLY is the big attraction in WWF New York. He beats up a fan wearing a WCW shirt. I THINK HE WAS A PLANT.

Jeff Hardy Vs RVD – WWF Hardcore Championship Match

 Only 1 title gets defended at this show and it’s the hardcore title .

Oh man, how awesome was THAT? Jeff goes for a running cross body, RVD ducks and then hits a standing moonsault the moment Jeff crashes on the mat!

IRON MIKE SHARPE RULES. My god, these fucking signs man.

Great to see a bunch of crazy spots here that at the time weren’t over done to shit. Plus, helps that both RVD and Jeff were capable of doing them without fucking them up to hell .

Oh man, RVD getting back up after being powerbombed on the floor only to see Hardy on top of a fucking ladder is amazing. He nearly shits himself and runs into the ring out of the way . Then pushes the ladder over and DAMN Jeff crashes HARD on the fucking FLOOR.

VAN DAMINATOR~! Hardy falls into the pit of hell that is the giant random hole in the middle of the entrance ramp lol.

RVD being able to bounce on his head and fold himself up like a porn star certainly allows from some unique and sick looking bumps lol .

Finish is… retarded as fuck. 5 Star Frog Splash onto Jeff, with the hardcore title belt on Jeff’s stomach. Which would do fuck all to Jeff and hurt RVD .

Aside from that, this is . One of my favourite hardcore title matches. Even JR says so. He also says he doesn’t know how many stars we’ll give it. Well, I’ll let you in on my STARS~! Jim .

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Lita & Trish Stratus Vs Stacy Keibler & Torrie Wilson – Special Guest Referee Mick Foley – Bra & Panties Match

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

FAP FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP FAP.

FAP FAP FAP FAP.

Rating: **
CAL SCALE – 0.5

The Undertaker, Kane, Steve Austin, Kurt Angle & Chris Jericho Vs DDP, Rhyno, The Dudley Boys & Booker T

As bad as the Invasion angle was on the whole, I just LOVED it at the time. Hell I’m still entertained AS FUCK watching it these days. It’s GOOD, it’s just not what it could have and SHOULD have been. I accept that and just take it for how it is.

The Austin “return” was fucking EPIC. I wasn’t even a fan of the guy at this time (in 2001 when I saw it as it happened obviously), but damn, even I was marking out like fuck for it. When he ran in and just fucking DESTROYED the entire Alliance was epic. Oh, and how GREAT was that backstage motivation speech segment with FREDDIE BLASSY? GOAT Old Man. Always loved when he did voice overs for PPV videos too.

Hearing Stephanie McMahon announced as the owner of ECW is hilarious. Though I wouldn’t mind going EXTREME with STEPHANIE FAP FAP.

JR on Booker T: “HE’S NO RIC FLAIR, HE’S NO STING”. I 100% agree with the Flair comment… but Sting? I’d say they are about even in terms of sucking . Though Sting is infinitely more popular and DOES have those great Vader matches that make Booker T’s best matches look like Booker T’s worst matches.

DAT ANGLE POP. Still can’t believe they turned him heel when he was SO HOT at the time. Then the revealed it was planned and he was helping the WWF. And remained heel still. WHAT?

A brawl erupts before Austin can even get out from behind the curtain, when Undertaker charges after DDP. 10 MAN FIGHT to start this match off .

BUBBA fucking eats a huge punch from Austin and takes an awesome bump off the apron. BUBBA~!

They (announcers) bring up that Jericho stormed into Vince’s office and begged to be on Team WWF to prove his loyalty. Interesting thought, who could have been on the team instead of Jericho at the time? Big Show so they could have a GIANT (after all he was in the Survivor Series one)? Can’t think of anyone else tbh. HHH and Benoit were injured, Rock wasn’t available to return quite yet due to HOLLYWOOD.

Did we ever get a Bubba Vs Undertaker match? Because they have a small interaction during this match and they looked to have potential together. I only remember tags and the handicap “let’s kill Paul bearer” match.

Man, this might have the single longest Babyface Shine Period of ANY match ever lol. Team WWF absolutely dominate for what seems like forever. But a good forever because this never gets dull or boring and watching all the WWF guys get tagged in and cause shit is .

Just when you think Team WCW are gonna start their control segment, someone new gets tagged on and runs over the Alliance lol. OVERHEAD BELLY TO BELLY on Bubba looks awesome. BUBBA seems to be the best guy on his team in this match lol. Certainly the guy doing shit I remember and feel the need to mention.

Kurt Angle ends up being the guy that the Alliance control. Which is somewhat surprising. Probably should have been Jericho imo. LOL, Angle can’t escape a headlock from DDP. DDP IS TEH BESTESTEST TECHNIKALS WRASSLER EVA!

Eventually Undertaker gets fucked off and charges in after DDp while the refee is just like “Hey guys, can we like, go back to a normal tag match now please? Pretty please?”

Everyone charges in now, and it spills to the outside and we gets some  super fun 5 on 5 brawling all over the place. LAST RIDE TO CHARLES ROBINSON.

DDP and Undertaker fuck off into the crowd somewhere. Hmmm… Undertaker takes out a referee and spends a crazy amount of time brawling in the crowd? What it is, WM 17? 

CHOKESLAM TO D-VON THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! MONITOR TO THE FACE OF KANE!!! DOUPLE SUPLEX THROUGH THE ANNOUNCE TABLE!!! KANE IS DONE!!!

RHYNO THROUGH A TABLE! RHYNO THROUGH A TABLE! JERICHO JUST THREW HIMSELF OFF THE APRON AND RHYNO AND THEY WENT THROUGH A TABLE!

This leaves us with Booker T and Angle in the ring. Austin apparently has fucked up his knee, but for some reason nobody brings it up. Like, AT ALL.

Bubba and Booker try to double team Angle in the ring, but those MOVES~! of Angle save him for the time being.

Vince throws the WWF title belt into the ring for Angle, but Shane grabs it first and takes out Vince! ANGLE SLAM TO BOOKER! THE ANKLE LOCK! BOOKER IS TAPING BUT THERE IS NO REFEREE! AUSTIN BRINGS ONE INTO THE RING… THEN OMG!!! OMG!!! STUNNER TO ANGLE! WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON?!?!? AUSTIN JUST TURNED HIS BACK ON THE WWF! AUSTIN JUST SCREWED US ALL!!!

 Austin turned on the WWF! SHOCKING finish to say the least. The Alliance has beaten the WWF! Great match. Lasts forever but never drags or feels THAT long. Good stuff overall and I likes it a lot. Not as good as the Survivor Series match is (based on memory), but still one hell of a 10 man tag to really kick-start the Invasion.

Rating: ***3/4
CAL SCALE – 4

Overall CAL SCALE – 11